Stepdaughter’s bedroom at Christmas

[Balletbabe]

My 14 year old stepdaughter has an en-suite bedroom at our house which she uses maybe two or three nights a month.. This room is sacrosanct and DH won’t entertain conversations about it.

Essentially she will not allow my mother to use it over Christmas even if she isn’t here.

My sister is with her in-laws.

We either put my daughter in with our youngest two, or bring baby back in with us. Either of these solutions would potentially lead to sleep regression for both the younger kids. Or we travel for just under an hour to my mother’s, taking kids away from their presents and she will then feel the need to host us.

We still have no idea if stepdaughter is even going to be here.

All DH will say is he wouldn’t want anyone in his room either and he is willing to collect her after presents and she could get Uber back.

I am with your dh

how long will your mother be staying?

Who made him the boss? It’s presumably a house you both own. I’d tell him to stop thinking he and his daughter get to dictate this and inconvenience a handful of other people because she’s a princess and he’s a doormat. Fucking ridiculous.

What ages are all the children

Move your younger ones - any impact on their sleep will be temporary.

Op your epic last thread about your step daughter ended up with 3/4 thinking you were unreasonable.

You have a problem with this teen girl.

why do you want to pour petrol over the situation?

Have you asked her specifically for this Christmas for your mum or just in a general way?

She may feel like you're deciding for her that she won't be with her dad over Christmas if you're already planning on putting guests in her room...

As an adult I see the logic but as a teen I would have felt very pushed out.

Agreed. We have a spare en-suite room which used to be my ss room. Sd comes to stay regularly but anyone who stays can use the room.

I'm with your DH. A teenagers room is their private space. It isn't a spare room.

It would be nice if she offered, but she didn't and it's not even for her own grandparent.

He's being ridiculous. Why should the child who is actually present give up their room for a guest rather than the child who isn't there? That's nuts. I'd happily let guests sleep in my room at my dad's when I wasn't there.

Why don't you and your DH sleep on a blow up bed in the lounge and give your mother your room? Or DH on the sofa and you share with your mum? Why is it only your stepdaughter who can give up her room?

She hasn't said she isn't there, OP said she didn't know yet

Nailed it.

If she's there then obviously the room will be in use already. If she isn't, I can't see the problem. She needs to confirm whether she is coming for Christmas.

Put baby in Sd room in a travel cot

Blimey, when I was 14 I had to surrender my bedroom to visiting grandparents and sleep in a sleeping bag on the dining room floor, including at Xmas. It wasn't a discussion - I was just told what was happening.

Why is a child being allowed to dictate what happens in her parents' house?

This

Excellent idea

Yes same. And people sleep all over the place at Christmas at my in laws even now.

I wouldn’t want to move the baby. Both stepdaughter and three year old would be happy together but three year old has a toddler bed that my mother couldn’t fit in.

But the DH is refusing to have his daughter's room be utilised under any circumstances?

I always remember having to give up my room for adult relatives on special occasions. I’d bunk in with my sibling.

I don’t see it as unreasonable.

Oh buck up

move the baby

how long will your mother even be there for?

I think stepdaughter would share with either or both of the younger ones only if she were there.

I would want my mum from Christmas Eve to the 27th.

I put YANBU before I read your second post. Bring the baby in with you. No doubt your step daughter will be less keen to stay given how unwelcome you’ve made her feel when there is clearly another bedroom available for your mum.

Plus there’s a back story with this op being pissed off with her SD. Unreasonably so