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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wait until he comes around for his parcel

213 replies

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 14:55

It’s not the first time. It’s just ramping up closer to Christmas and I’m annoyed.

Over the last fortnight we have had several parcels for him which he never comes to collect, so me or DH end up taking them over just to get them out the house.

Last Friday DH took one over (I told him not to!) as it had been with us 3 days. I made a point of asking the postman if he gets notified we have his parcels and was told he does.

To my annoyance DD took a parcel for him Monday (she said the postman just passed it to to her whilst half asking /telling and walked off so it took her by surprise) so we now have a huge box in the hall. I am adamant no one is taking it over and if he wants it, he can bloody well walk a couple steps to get it!

Just for context, he is not physically disabled, or elderly. He is always coming and going (we’ve seen him leave and come back to the house several times today, so he could easily have knocked!) I refuse to go hand it to him!

AIBU to just keep it until he comes to get it? I’m being stubborn but he’s taking the piss now and we’re not his personal depot! DH says we should take it over on the weekend if he’s not knocked but I say no or he’ll keep just assuming we’ll bring it to him like his own personal assistants. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 14:57

I’m willing to keep it forever at this point just to prove a point because yes I am that petty 🤐

OP posts:
Thechaseison71 · 04/12/2025 14:57

Well id put it on his doorstep if you don't want it clogging up your hall

B1anche · 04/12/2025 14:59

Just don't accept the parcels.

Annie202 · 04/12/2025 14:59

Why don’t you stop accepting parcels?

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:00

B1anche · 04/12/2025 14:59

Just don't accept the parcels.

Yes that was the plan but DD just did. We aren’t accepting anymore. Thought it was a nice thing to do but realise bring nice means being a doormat.

OP posts:
Dogmum1983 · 04/12/2025 15:00

I would post a note thru his door saying he has 24 hours to collect or youl be sending it back to sender and you’re not his parcel holding area

latetothefisting · 04/12/2025 15:03

But it's probably quite likely to be a Christmas present-in which case he might not need it for another 3 weeks! It's no skin off his nose if he doesn't get it until he actually needs it, if anything its saving him having to find somewhere to put it. It's not inconveniencing him in any way for you to hold onto it but you're the one with a big box taking up space! Seems like cutting off your nose to spit your face.

Just have a word with everyone in your house making sure they know not to take in any more parcels, and sticking something on your door saying the same. For this parcel stick it outside his house and if it gets rained on/stolen tough luck.

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:03

Annie202 · 04/12/2025 14:59

Why don’t you stop accepting parcels?

“To my annoyance DD took a parcel for him…”

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 04/12/2025 15:04

Put a note on your door for post/deliveries - we will not accept parcels for number 18

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:04

latetothefisting · 04/12/2025 15:03

But it's probably quite likely to be a Christmas present-in which case he might not need it for another 3 weeks! It's no skin off his nose if he doesn't get it until he actually needs it, if anything its saving him having to find somewhere to put it. It's not inconveniencing him in any way for you to hold onto it but you're the one with a big box taking up space! Seems like cutting off your nose to spit your face.

Just have a word with everyone in your house making sure they know not to take in any more parcels, and sticking something on your door saying the same. For this parcel stick it outside his house and if it gets rained on/stolen tough luck.

That’s a good point. The petty in me wants to force him to come get it but you’re right

OP posts:
TwooooDoooozenRoses · 04/12/2025 15:05

Why can’t people just read the opening post? 😂
I second the note on the door idea. And rally the troops to make it clear no one is to accept any parcels for knobby neighbour from here on in!

Bookpage · 04/12/2025 15:05

I think it's really odd, the things that make people cross.

I have safe places set up for all the delivery comanies, but they don't always use them and sometimes go to a neighbour.

Yes, they notify me by email, but I don't often have any reason to check my emails, so sometimes I won't realise a neighbour has my parcel until I start wondering why my delivery hasn't turned up.

Hold onto it or take it round, but dont waste so much energy on it.

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:06

frozendaisy · 04/12/2025 15:04

Put a note on your door for post/deliveries - we will not accept parcels for number 18

No 18! 👀

Are you in my street ? 😃

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 04/12/2025 15:06

Leave it on the doorstep for all to see x

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:07

Bookpage · 04/12/2025 15:05

I think it's really odd, the things that make people cross.

I have safe places set up for all the delivery comanies, but they don't always use them and sometimes go to a neighbour.

Yes, they notify me by email, but I don't often have any reason to check my emails, so sometimes I won't realise a neighbour has my parcel until I start wondering why my delivery hasn't turned up.

Hold onto it or take it round, but dont waste so much energy on it.

Once or twice I get but constantly? How can you not check your emails for weeks? Especially knowing you’ve a delivery dispatched!

OP posts:
SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 04/12/2025 15:10

He knows he is being a dick by not collecting, you owe him zero.

This is a hill I would die on but I am petty sometimes 😅

Keep it forever if needed.

Reject ALL parcels going forward.

intrepidpanda · 04/12/2025 15:12

Be conveniently not in until after Christmas

Noshowlomo · 04/12/2025 15:14

Agree. He can fetch it!

Ponderingwindow · 04/12/2025 15:15

I wouldn’t necessarily realize the package was elsewhere. I get nearly 1000 emails a day to my shopping account. I definitely don’t bother opening all of them. I also do almost all my shopping online because of disability and successfully receive almost every delivery. It’s only the very rare parcel that doesn’t make it to my address directly. So it can take a few days for me to realize there is a problem and go hunting for information.

badjeans · 04/12/2025 15:16

Have you tried saying to him “Hey, we’d really appreciate it if you came to collect any parcels as soon as you know they’re here - it’s much easier for us to than to keep bringing them around.” And see if he’s actually just a normal, slightly thoughtless, person?

ItsFridayIminLoveJS · 04/12/2025 15:17

Put them all on his doorstep.Take a photo as proof.. don't accept any more.

Oopsadaisydoodah · 04/12/2025 15:18

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 14:55

It’s not the first time. It’s just ramping up closer to Christmas and I’m annoyed.

Over the last fortnight we have had several parcels for him which he never comes to collect, so me or DH end up taking them over just to get them out the house.

Last Friday DH took one over (I told him not to!) as it had been with us 3 days. I made a point of asking the postman if he gets notified we have his parcels and was told he does.

To my annoyance DD took a parcel for him Monday (she said the postman just passed it to to her whilst half asking /telling and walked off so it took her by surprise) so we now have a huge box in the hall. I am adamant no one is taking it over and if he wants it, he can bloody well walk a couple steps to get it!

Just for context, he is not physically disabled, or elderly. He is always coming and going (we’ve seen him leave and come back to the house several times today, so he could easily have knocked!) I refuse to go hand it to him!

AIBU to just keep it until he comes to get it? I’m being stubborn but he’s taking the piss now and we’re not his personal depot! DH says we should take it over on the weekend if he’s not knocked but I say no or he’ll keep just assuming we’ll bring it to him like his own personal assistants. AIBU?

just return to sender after a few days or when you’ve had enough and then when neighbours asks say it wasn’t collected from you and you assumed not wanted so returned it as favour.

or leave it outside exposed to rain and tell him to pick up

purplecorkheart · 04/12/2025 15:18

If it was the post person delivered it I would actually give it back to them. Put a sign on the door saying that you are no longer accepting parcels for no 18. Otherwise I would leave it on the doorstep just before it is going to rain.

OneMoreProfiterole · 04/12/2025 15:20

Accept all deliveries.
Deny all knowledge.
Sell everything on eBay.

Clarinet1 · 04/12/2025 15:20

Sorry if I’m missing something but who is “He”? And why does he not get things delivered to his own home?