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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wait until he comes around for his parcel

213 replies

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 14:55

It’s not the first time. It’s just ramping up closer to Christmas and I’m annoyed.

Over the last fortnight we have had several parcels for him which he never comes to collect, so me or DH end up taking them over just to get them out the house.

Last Friday DH took one over (I told him not to!) as it had been with us 3 days. I made a point of asking the postman if he gets notified we have his parcels and was told he does.

To my annoyance DD took a parcel for him Monday (she said the postman just passed it to to her whilst half asking /telling and walked off so it took her by surprise) so we now have a huge box in the hall. I am adamant no one is taking it over and if he wants it, he can bloody well walk a couple steps to get it!

Just for context, he is not physically disabled, or elderly. He is always coming and going (we’ve seen him leave and come back to the house several times today, so he could easily have knocked!) I refuse to go hand it to him!

AIBU to just keep it until he comes to get it? I’m being stubborn but he’s taking the piss now and we’re not his personal depot! DH says we should take it over on the weekend if he’s not knocked but I say no or he’ll keep just assuming we’ll bring it to him like his own personal assistants. AIBU?

OP posts:
Bookpage · 04/12/2025 15:21

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 04/12/2025 15:10

He knows he is being a dick by not collecting, you owe him zero.

This is a hill I would die on but I am petty sometimes 😅

Keep it forever if needed.

Reject ALL parcels going forward.

Edited

Why would he be deliberately not collecting? Surely these are things he's ordered for a reason.

Redpeach · 04/12/2025 15:22

Bookpage · 04/12/2025 15:05

I think it's really odd, the things that make people cross.

I have safe places set up for all the delivery comanies, but they don't always use them and sometimes go to a neighbour.

Yes, they notify me by email, but I don't often have any reason to check my emails, so sometimes I won't realise a neighbour has my parcel until I start wondering why my delivery hasn't turned up.

Hold onto it or take it round, but dont waste so much energy on it.

Ah you must be my neighbour, could you use your energy to check tmyour emails more often?

JudgeBread · 04/12/2025 15:22

Ponderingwindow · 04/12/2025 15:15

I wouldn’t necessarily realize the package was elsewhere. I get nearly 1000 emails a day to my shopping account. I definitely don’t bother opening all of them. I also do almost all my shopping online because of disability and successfully receive almost every delivery. It’s only the very rare parcel that doesn’t make it to my address directly. So it can take a few days for me to realize there is a problem and go hunting for information.

Postie's put P739's through, you wouldn't have to check your email, it'll be on the card (assuming the postie is doing his job properly).

Redpeach · 04/12/2025 15:23

Clarinet1 · 04/12/2025 15:20

Sorry if I’m missing something but who is “He”? And why does he not get things delivered to his own home?

He's out

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:24

Clarinet1 · 04/12/2025 15:20

Sorry if I’m missing something but who is “He”? And why does he not get things delivered to his own home?

He is our neighbour and he orders parcels for his own address but he is never in or doesn’t answer the door to the postman so we get them as we always seem to be in

OP posts:
WearyCat · 04/12/2025 15:25

Take the big one round and say that you need him to collect the same day in future, then if he doesn’t, go back and tell him that you will turn them away going forward (or leave them on his front doorstep).

FuzzyPuffling · 04/12/2025 15:25

We used to take in parcels for next door, but they were not collected. We checked with delivery companies that they'd put a card through the door. After 4 days or so we'd take them round. Storage space is very limited. Grumpy.

The final straw was when we saw a notice on their front door saying " All deliveries to next door" with an arrow pointing at our house. They hadn't even asked!

We don't accept anything for them now. People would rather use neighbours as a storage facility than be thoughtful.

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:25

Redpeach · 04/12/2025 15:22

Ah you must be my neighbour, could you use your energy to check tmyour emails more often?

Show quote history

😁

OP posts:
Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:26

FuzzyPuffling · 04/12/2025 15:25

We used to take in parcels for next door, but they were not collected. We checked with delivery companies that they'd put a card through the door. After 4 days or so we'd take them round. Storage space is very limited. Grumpy.

The final straw was when we saw a notice on their front door saying " All deliveries to next door" with an arrow pointing at our house. They hadn't even asked!

We don't accept anything for them now. People would rather use neighbours as a storage facility than be thoughtful.

Yikes! Thats shocking how bloody rude!!

OP posts:
Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:26

Bookpage · 04/12/2025 15:21

Why would he be deliberately not collecting? Surely these are things he's ordered for a reason.

Show quote history

and that there is the mystery

OP posts:
Keroppi · 04/12/2025 15:27

Clarinet1 · 04/12/2025 15:20

Sorry if I’m missing something but who is “He”? And why does he not get things delivered to his own home?

You can't use context clues?

Whichone1 · 04/12/2025 15:28

Clarinet1 · 04/12/2025 15:20

Sorry if I’m missing something but who is “He”? And why does he not get things delivered to his own home?

I thought this about the ‘he’ - OP being cryptic ! I’m guessing a neighbour but unsure why they didn’t say that 😂

Slightyamusedandsilly · 04/12/2025 15:30

Put it safely outside your backdoor. Let it get damp in the rain. Leave it until he comes round.

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:31

Whichone1 · 04/12/2025 15:28

I thought this about the ‘he’ - OP being cryptic ! I’m guessing a neighbour but unsure why they didn’t say that 😂

Show quote history

Just didn’t think about it 😂

OP posts:
RawBloomers · 04/12/2025 15:33

I would take it round, tell him you’re pissed off with him not collecting so you will refuse to accept future parcels for him and if one gets left without you realising you’ll be leaving it on his doorstep.

Mosaic123 · 04/12/2025 15:38

Leave it on his door step. Wait till it's raining....

BerryTwister · 04/12/2025 15:41

Ponderingwindow · 04/12/2025 15:15

I wouldn’t necessarily realize the package was elsewhere. I get nearly 1000 emails a day to my shopping account. I definitely don’t bother opening all of them. I also do almost all my shopping online because of disability and successfully receive almost every delivery. It’s only the very rare parcel that doesn’t make it to my address directly. So it can take a few days for me to realize there is a problem and go hunting for information.

@Ponderingwindow Seriously? 1000 per day?!! You must do a hell of a lot of shopping. That's astounding. How do you afford it and where do you put all your stuff? I think one purchase generates maybe 4-5 emails. So you must be doing 200 each day.

PercyPigInAWig · 04/12/2025 15:41

I couldn't get so wound up about this.
I work from home full time. If I'm home and in a meeting where I can't leave, I don't answer the door. If I can go to the door and it's a parcel for anyone on my street I will accept it. I do have to leave the house sometimes.

If the parcel is for me, drivers usually leave it on our porch swing.
I have had a delivery of a heavy item of bathroom equipment delivered to my disabled neighbour with no warning (they did not even TRY my house even though a timeslot had been agreed and I was waiting) and poor neighbour said yes. Neither of us could carry the item and I did contact the delivery company to complain.

But if it's a parcel I can carry, go ahead, I don't mind and think it's neighbourly.

MyDeftDuck · 04/12/2025 15:43

Thechaseison71 · 04/12/2025 14:57

Well id put it on his doorstep if you don't want it clogging up your hall

Yes, put it on his door step now……..it’s pissing down with rain here! That’ll teach him!

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/12/2025 15:43
  1. Notice on the door informing postman / delivery drivers that parcels for Number 18 will no longer be accepted.
  2. Whatever is currently in your hall, return to sender.
  3. If you're feeling nice (I wouldn't be) you could put a note through his door informing him of 1. and 2., but I probably wouldn't bother myself.
SereneGoose · 04/12/2025 15:51

Just thanks for making me laugh.

ldnmusic87 · 04/12/2025 15:51

Stop accepting, put a sign on your door and tell the postman too.

shuggles · 04/12/2025 15:54

Keroppi · 04/12/2025 15:27

You can't use context clues?

Show quote history

It would have been normal to specify who "he" refers to, rather than being cryptic.

ThatLemonBear · 04/12/2025 15:58

He might not be doing it to deliberately annoy you, in our little cul-de-sac the person taking the parcel in always drops it to the owner when they get home. We are a very small road with only 6 houses though so it’s easy to keep track!

Glamba · 04/12/2025 15:59

The cards aren't 100% reliable. I'd put a note through, or text him once if you have his number. Often the first thing we know of a parcel is when our neighbours bring it round.

If you have a garage or somewhere you can move it to so it's more out of the way for you in the meantime then do that. But I totally agree with you to stop taking them round to him, and put a note up to reduce further parcels.