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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

338 replies

WouldRatherBeOnaBeach · 03/12/2025 02:18

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
Blueuggboots · 03/12/2025 02:22

how on earth do you feed a family of 5 on £85 a week??!!

why are you being given so little money? Do you work? Do you have access to the finances?

Linenpickle · 03/12/2025 02:23

A 25% increase is ridiculous - challenge it. However, you get £53 to feed a family of 5 a week? Seriously? Give up the flute. Is money tight or is your dh tight?

Blueuggboots · 03/12/2025 02:23

That’s a 25% increase??!!!

YesItsMe44 · 03/12/2025 02:25

That's a 25% increase for the lesson. Definitely on the high side. Especially when looking at $128/4 weeks vs. $160/4 weeks.

bronnibro · 03/12/2025 02:27

I also wouldn't be spending almost hair the budget on one person's hobby Vs 5 person food which is already quite low so I'd look at that first and sadly can't afford expensive hobbies? Mahy kids can't

Toddlerteaplease · 03/12/2025 02:27

Is that all your husband can give you or is he being financially abusive?

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 03/12/2025 02:29

Id tell husband to do the family shop and meal plan

Mothership4two · 03/12/2025 02:32

Hubby says I should just pay it .. (The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

Well tell him to pay it then. I don't know how you manage on £85 for everything including extras for your children

KetchUpWithEverythingPls · 03/12/2025 02:35

Eh? So one child gets nearly half the family food budget on one flute lesson?

Why?!!

That's completely mad

sleepylittlebunnies · 03/12/2025 02:40

Is that £40 a week or a monthly fee? How long are the flute lessons?

If you are on a very low household income are there any subsidised music lessons your dc could attend. The kids who got free school meals at my kids’ primary school had free music lessons from outside tutors who came to school.

Or is DH keeping you short of money. Music lessons shouldn’t come out of a very tight food budget.

Ffififofum · 03/12/2025 02:47

What does your dh earn ? Is £85 / week a sensible portion of his weekly pay ? Are things genuinely tight or is your dh stingey ?

If he wants dd to continue getting lessons then he must pay the extra to you !

I voted YABU because of your acceptance of the financial set up at home.

ChocolateMagnum · 03/12/2025 03:09

Your bigger problem is this bit:

"Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5."

Blueuggboots · 03/12/2025 04:49

It will be £40/week I’m sure. My son’s guitar lessons are £25 a hour and that’s really cheap. His school charge £22 for 30 minutes!!

banananas1999 · 03/12/2025 05:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Glittertwins · 03/12/2025 05:03

I think we paid about £40/hour for private music lessons 2 years back.

ForMyNextTrickIWillMakeThisVodkaDisappear · 03/12/2025 05:08

£85 a week for the food shop for 5 people plus a flute lesson? Umm… how? £85 just on food for 5 people surely isn’t doable?

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 03/12/2025 05:14

How are you feeding 5 people on that amount? Where is your child benefit going? Going hungry for a music lesson is a really bad idea so I would stop the lesson completely as you can't afford it even before the increase.

Franjipanl8r · 03/12/2025 05:32

Can she join an orchestra group instead, would that be cheaper than private lessons? It sounds like private lessons even at the cheaper rate were too much of a stretch for you.

replay2025 · 03/12/2025 05:34

£85 for a family of 5?! Surely this is a typo

Zanatdy · 03/12/2025 05:38

Absolutely no way if your food budget is reduced so much. She may enjoy it, but you can’t afford it.

winterwarmer8274 · 03/12/2025 05:39

Yes its a massive increase - I would tell him you can't afford the increase and see if you can negotiate, or just stop the lessons and use youtube.

However, not sure I believe you are spending such a high % of your £85 weekly budget on flute lessons for one child anyway. What do the other 4 kids get?

Rice and beans for dinner every night?

Horses7 · 03/12/2025 05:39

Blueuggboots · 03/12/2025 02:22

how on earth do you feed a family of 5 on £85 a week??!!

why are you being given so little money? Do you work? Do you have access to the finances?

This

Roselily123 · 03/12/2025 05:40

Blueuggboots · 03/12/2025 02:22

how on earth do you feed a family of 5 on £85 a week??!!

why are you being given so little money? Do you work? Do you have access to the finances?

This

TFloss · 03/12/2025 05:45

Change the flute lessons to fortnightly to balance out budget and supporting hobby. Daughter can do own practice in between lessons.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/12/2025 05:55

I couldn’t feed a family of 5 for £53pw. Either you can’t afford flute lessons, however much she likes them, or you’re being financially abused. Which is it?