Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

That’s unsustainable OP.

How advanced is your dc on the flute? What are the qualifications of the teacher?

The flute is really quite an easy instrument and you just need someone giving you pointers and lots of practice at home … you don’t need an hour of tuition per week - I started on 30 mins a week at age 9 and when I got to grade 7 went up to 45 mins per week simply because my pieces were often quite long- i stayed on 45 mins until I did my grade 8 at age 15, more than adequate amount of time.

Tell the teacher “fine” but you want the lesson to be 20 mins AND you want to sit in on the lesson (to make sure no time is wasted on chit chat and also you can hear what homework is set and help dc to practice at home).

Failing that I’d tell the teacher you’ll be looking for a more cost effective solution until dc has got to a higher grade and need this quality of tuition.

I remember my instrument fees had increased massively at some point and my father was not happy at all but they had said because I going up the grades.

But the most important question is don't you have access to the family finances?That's not right!

We had free recorder and guitar clubs at primary school in the 80s. Now only paid lessons are available in any school near me now. Very sad as it meant most of our school could read music by age 9 and then it was quick and easy to pick up new instruments.

That’s illogical. You don’t pay more for a driving lesson to be taken on an A road.

If your husband is ‘giving you money’ that’s financial abuse. You are married - that is legally your money. I know you may have just phrased it that way but it speaks to a dynamic- make sure you have full access to ‘your’ money

on the lessons - push back. Don’t accept. Call the teacher and say it’s too much and see if you can negotiate him down

The lessons don't sound unreasonable in price especially if it is 1 on 1 lessons. As your husband knew this tutor maybe he gave a cheaper rate to start with as a favor.
You definitely seem to be very short on money though. Is this money to go with any benefit or wage you receive?

It was an increase in lesson time. Which I don't know if it is happening here.

I’m also an instrumental teacher. £40 per hour is a pretty standard rate (and actually below the hourly rate the musicians union reccomend), so if the prices you mention are hourly, then yes the teacher has been massively undercharging. However unless your daughter is super advanced (ie preparing for grade 8 or conservatoire entry) she shouldn’t really be needing a full hour, so I’d look at reducing down to 30 mins or an hour every other week. talk to the teacher, as they might have some flexibility for fees for families on a low income. You could Also find out if there are lessons available in school/through a local music service as they’re likely to be cheaper and many boroughs will offer reduced/free lessons if you qualify for free school meals or pupil premium.

edited to add: if this guy is a friend of your husband’s, please check he actually knows what he’s doing! Does he have a music degree, previous instrumental teaching experience, other pupils? I regularly see pupils with really shoddy technique because they’ve been taught by a random friend of the family who has never taught before and isn’t a good enough standard themselves to be giving lessons. if this is the case you really shouldn’t be paying that much. I would have a look at what other local reputable flute teachers are charging (your local secondary school is likely to have someone decent teaching flute, so that might be a good starting point).

Same as PP’s, I have no idea how you’re feeding 5 people for the week with £53. We have 7 people and spend at least £150. Is he abusive?

Also that is a big hike in price. I’d compare to other teachers in the area and see what the general going rate is. I know instrument lessons tend to be expensive.

It's too big an increase. Inflation in the UK is about 4%. I would ask why so much? An increase to say £34 or £35 I would not bad an eyelid at.

The wider issue though is the way your DH sorts out family finances. Appalling.

I can’t imagine a flute teacher can squeeze in more than 4 hours of private tuition a day.

4x£40= £160 a day x 5 is £800 a week or £3200 a month

That’s assuming teacher is fully booked, which she almost certainly isn’t.

I’d assume she’s actually earning more like £2000 a month or less once you account for taxes and costs, fuel if she travels to you or room hire costs. That doesn’t seem like much for what will be close to full time hours once you add in marketing and accounts and travel time.

So sounds reasonable to me. It’s a non-essential cost that you need to decide if your family can afford.

It also sounds like your husband needs to do some budgeting and food shopping for a few weeks, so he can better understand the costs of things. It’s not 2002 food prices anymore, which seems to be where his budget still is.

So your husband expects you to now feed a family of 5 on £45? That's not possible surely. Don't either of you work? How did you even afford a flute when you can't adequately feed your family? Hard to believe this can be true

The £40 cost of the lessons is reasonable but the increase isn’t. What’s utterly unacceptable is the financial abuse.

If you guys have so little money that this is all you can afford to feed your family then you need to cancel the lessons anyway. If you husband has a reasonable amount of money but keeps you on this insane budget - then he can pay for the lessons directly and give you access to the shared finances to pay for food for your family. If it’s the latter - he’s financially abusive to have restricted you to that extent.

So you’ve been feeding 5 on £53 a week?

Show your DH this thread and let him know he’s taking the P ! £45 to feed 5 people properly absolutely not doable

Is there anyone you can share a lesson slot with? Ask the teacher!
Is she any good? Is this going to be a career? there are online lessons she can join instead.

Also a family of 5 and i couldn’t feed us all on that

The flute teacher is not being unreasonable to increase the price.

You are not being unreasonable to wonder how the fuck you are going to afford it.

Your husband is being very, very unreasonable to only give you £85 a week and expect you to feed everyone on it plus pay for flute lessons. Unless money is really tight in your household - in which case, you are all being unreasonable for thinking that spending almost half of the free money a week on one family member is a good use of money unless she's the next Mozart in the making, which I just don't believe is the case.

The answer is to have a conversation with your husband about much it realistically costs to meet the needs of a family of 5.

Only a teenager who has no idea of the true cost of food could write such twaddle.

Why is your husband giving you 'pocket money' like a child. Earn your own money!

That aside, this is a steep increase.

When I first read this message I didn’t fully take in the part about this being all the money your husband gives you to run an entire household on. For a week. Without further discussion, and yet he still is trying to say you should go ahead with these lessons.. that literally take food from the mouth of your children.
What does he spend the rest of “his money” on?
And do you realise how this sounds?
Controlling in an old fashioned “pin money” way and in an abusive sense and untrusting in that he doesn’t give you the opportunity to make bigger financial decisions and choices, which should be your right in a marriage. When I read it, that’s what I hear.

To be honest, it sounds like he was on the cheaper side to begin with, so he’s increasing his prices to be in line with the competition. He’s likely also the victim of increasing overheads.

I am an English tutor and charge £50 per hour, I’m putting my prices up to £60 per hour in the new year in line with local market rates.

Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

Husband gives you...

Tell us more about your financial arrangement. I don't think it's the flute teacher we need to be questioning.

Is your DH on minimum wage and you’re not working? £85 is not enough for a family of 5 so you couldn’t afford the lessons even at the lower rate.

That said £40 ph is peanuts.

I'm thinking it could be down to who is giving the lesson. I used to teach horse riding up to a certain level, but when pupils got beyond that level they would need to go to someone else who was higher qualified than me or who was working themselves at a higher level, and they would cost more because of the years of experience they were offering. Plus the fact my teaching was more a hobby side gig to my day job and for the higher level instructors it was their living.

I'll also point out that often people who offer a paid for service don't put their prices up maybe when they should. 25% may seem a large increase in one rise, but if they've been charging the lower rate for 5-6 years then suddenly it doesn't seem so big.

You also have a "rounding up" thing with costs especially for services. If you have a service that costs say £40 per session, then with 5% inflation you would be putting your price up £2. Then the next year £2.05, then the year after another £2.10 and so on. After 4 years the compounded interest means you would be paying over £48. But life is simpler if things go up by whole numbers, so they put it up by £5 after 3 years, then another £5 2 years later. Or £10 after 5 years - shock horror 25% increase, not thinking of the years it hasn't gone up.