Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

Ummm. Why are you only having £85 a week for that size family? I think you need to talk to Women’s Aid.

Music lessons in schools aren’t free!
One of my schools pays me £42 per hour, but they charge the parents a lot more than that to cover admin, concerts, accompanying etc. the students have 20 or 30 min lessons.
Maybe the OP could consider that?

You still have to pay for lessons.

If money is as tight as that (and it’s not your DH being financially abusive), then I’d stop flute lessons, even at the old cost - you can’t afford it.
Concentrate on feeding your family well.

Well, they are in Scotland. At least in South Lanarkshire. I went to school in a town in south Lanarkshire and got free lessons. My kids go to school in a different town in South Lanarkshire and get free lessons. Any kid that wants them, gets them. The South Lanarkshire music tuition service also provides the instrument for free; it’s yours for your whole time at school, from primary through secondary. You can provide your own instrument too.
But we also don’t pay for ingredients for HE or anything like that either.

you have two different issues here, so it’s impossible to say if you are being unreasonable. Issue 1; as a grown woman why are you being ‘given’ an allowance? If you are a SAHP, monies your husband earns should be joint. And if you are a SAHP start looking for a job.
second issue, the music lesson. If the £40 is for 1x 30 min. Lesson, yes that’s steep, and I’d be looking for another teacher! If it’s £40 for one hour, then that’s absolutely fine and the current price of £32 is low.
remember the cost of everything has gone up. Most music teachers are self-employed, so they have many more costs to incur compared to their PAYE counterparts (e.g Insurance, no pay if off sick, paying into private pension, national insurance and tax, lack of job security etc etc).

Could you reduce the number of lessons your DC child attends, maybe one a fortnight rather than weekly?

Your husband should increase your allowance accordingly.

and then you should leave him. You are being financially abused. It is a form of domestic violence.

Absolutely no chance would I spend a large amount of my food budget on an activity for 1 child. The rest of the family should not have to do without for a lesson plus the increase is ridiculous. Is that all your husband has to spare every week to give you? What about child benefit? Are you entitled to UC?

Local price list (south east)

I wouldn't expect a beginner to have more than a half hour lesson so it does seem a lot.
I'd shop around or go to fortnightly - won't make a huge difference in progress providing your DC is motivated to practise.

....Your husband GIVES you???

Do you live in the 1870's??

I would as if you can do a half an hour lesson - unless your DD is grade5+ and preparing for exams at this stage she does not need hour long lessons.

Separately - if you are only being given £85 per week, your DH is potentially being abusive. Unless money is so tight that is all he has - in which case, the flute lessons have to go.

I’m a grade 8 musician (flute and recorder, but also guitar Grade 5 ish, mainly played to accompany singing) and as much as I love playing, it has not enhanced my career, created opportunities that have enhanced my life. It was a lovely hobby. I chose not to pursue further training/apply to music school as all the musicians I knew were, well, teachers. Working PT in schools and tutoring as few schools even then had FT music staff.

The return on investment of music lessons therefore is ridiculous unless you are a prodigy. I was fortunately largely self-taught and had access to talented and gifted programmes that meant my mother never paid a penny - but she was absolutely not coughing up for music lessons when we didn’t know where next wee’s food shop was coming from.

I taught myself through ‘Tune a day’ books in the period as it was before internet, you tube and online apps - my kids have taught themselves piano, guitar and drums from those apps and got to about grade5/6 level before focusing on GCSEs. It’s still a lovely hobby for them too, one which they can pick up and resume at any stage in life (I have joined a rusty parents orchestra, for example).

If your DD loves it and wants to continue learning, and money is as tight as it seems, then I’d encourage her down that route.

And I’d really sit down with DH and review the reasons behind his budget.

Its rubbish, but if you can't afford it then you will just have to cancel them. Do you mean you have £85 per week for the grocery shop? Thats cutting it very fine as it is. We spend £80 for a family of 4 on food and we are very frugal. Do you have any other income?

I need more information. I cant find an update anywhere from OP . But the music lesson isnt the issue here. Surely thats a typo. Im Australian and 85pounds is roughly $170 give or take and no way anyone is doing a food shop for 5 people and paying lessons with that sort of money. What is the household income? Is there any government assistance? OP are you in a financially abusive relationship or have no access to finances?

1. That’s a massive price hike.
2. That’s also an expensive lesson if it’s 30 mins. If it’s longer, does it really need to be that long? Actually, does the flute teacher provide the flute? That may be a justifiable cost.
3. £85 to feed 5 is mad!! To inckude a music lesson is ridiculous! Are you (as a family) skint? Or is your dh tight/financially abusive? If you’re really skint, then pack in the music lessons.

Why are you in a position where your DH gives you money? This is not 1950! If you have no income and DH does then you need a joint account, all money is family money. And give up the lessons as you cannot afford them. I suggest you read up on assertiveness if you are really are being given ridiculous tiny amounts of money for food. Or leave, benefits might be more!

This is madness.
Either you can’t afford flute lessons as your household income is too low, or your husband is financially abusing you.

If flute is £40pw and you get £85pw for food and living for 5 people YOU CANNOT AFFORD FLUTE LESSONS. It’s as simple as that. Consider a group lesson, or shorter lesson or only every other week if they are really important to your child. £85pw for 5 us already only £17 a week each which is not easy at all.

That is all very well DH saying pay - is he the one that won't be eating?
H

1. £40 a lesson is not unusual here in the Midlands - any sort of tutoring here is around 50 plus for an hr or just under (to allow changeover)
2. 85 for food for the week is low for 5 people, less the lessons even at 32 is ridiculous.
3. It is financial abuse to allow you only 85 for expenses for a week then commit 40 of it to one child when you have 3, do the others do any activities?

I think shop around for other lessons, renegotiate finances with 'D'H and I would be pushing for him to cover the cost of the lesson himself.

I think the problem here is the husband, what is he - nuts?

£40 is pretty standard rate so maybe he is just bringing himself in line with others. Agree it’s a hassle for you though.

£40 doesn’t sound ridiculously high.
Bigger issue is your DH expecting you to feed a family on such a tight budget. Please send him shopping on his own with that little to spend to see what he comes up with. If your finances are so low that there is no more for food, then flute lessons need to go on hold for a while.

We got notice yesterday that tuition for one of our children is going up from £35 to £40 an hour from 1 Jan. This is on top of school fees.

This is to provide extra support for maths GCSE, and is time limited as she does the GCSE in the Spring, so we’re not making a fuss, but oh my goodness it’s a lot.

The other issue is your personal finances. Your husband seems to be financially abusing you. Please get support on this, it’s no way to live.

yes I was thinking it could be something like this. I was very worried with the recent budget that they would change the VAT thresholds - and they still might in further budgets - which means things like music lessons, speech therapy, maths tutoring, all those sort of things that used to be included in schools or health services but most people end up going private for, could suddenly be a lot more expensive for people. It is a shame as it ends up pricing people out of things like flute lessons, when music is so beneficial for children.

I hope so