Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

🤔

£85 per week to feed 5 people is already impossible.
Please tell us how you have been doing it on £53.

Yes that’s a massive increase. Look around for a cheaper tutor.
But bear in mind that private tutors can charge pretty much what they like if there is high demand for their services.

£40 p/h is not extortionate, but it's a ridiculous percentage increase and he should have given you a lot more notice, ideally letting you know by half-term, not just before the end of term.

My children’s music lessons are £50
an hour (pro rated for my younger who just has 30 minute lessons). I think the union rate is now something like £42 / hour. So depending on the length of the lesson, you were probably underpaying until now.

BUT so much is disturbing about your post. You are given a tiny allowance for food and extra curriculars. If your “hubby” wants the flute lessons to continue you need to have a much more reasonable budget. On current figures your family cannot afford music lessons I’m afraid.

That’s a huge increase. Whenever I increase my rates (most years) it is about £1 a lesson more but I give at least two months notice. How long is the lesson?

£40 per hour is about the going rate for flute lessons around here - so if she’s having an hour, the rate is reasonable and £32 would have been on the low side. I’d see if you can swap to 30-minute lessons - that’s fine for a beginner and it’s the practice time at home that’s most important. If it’s £40 for half an hour though that would be ridiculously steep and I’d look for another teacher.
Regardless though, it sounds like either money is too tight and it’s not fair on the other kids to spend on this - or that there are deeper financial/control issues with your husband.

When money is this tight I wouldn’t even choose to take the lesson from the beginning… hobbies are optional while eating healthy is not.

How many children do you have? 3? Are you in receipt of child benefit?

Quite honestly you really can’t spend half your weeks food budget on flute lessons for one dd. You have a family of 5, so presumably 2 other DCs (or other family members), and spending that much on 1 leaving not enough money for food just isn’t right. If money is that tight then she shouldn’t be doing it, £85 isn’t really enough anyway and people must be going without. But also, if you’re given £85 per week for food, is that actually all there is for food or is your DH withholding money?

The thing to give up here is the husband.

If the cost of lessons is increasing, and he wants them to continue then the desultory budget of 85 pounds a week for all expenses will have to increase - has he suggested this?

And what happens if one of your other children wants to start a class or lessons?

The MU rate is £44 per hour so it's it not that it's expensive but the jump up is expensive. I did t a similar thing a few years back. The problem was I hadn't put my fees up for 15 years for various reasons and then it seemed like a massive hike.
I think that as long as that's the case and he's not planning this every year at such a high percentage then that's the norm.
If affordability for you is an issue could you go 30/45min?

Music lessons are expensive but I don't know another industry except sport where you've had to hone your skills since the age of 6/7 and are expected to keep practicing hours a day to keep on top of your game...

Contrary to those on here saying this is a lot, it is actually quite a low rate (£40) for a tutor. I charge almost double that and have a waiting list.

I do appreciate it prices some students out. And in the case of real social deprivation, I'd either offer low cost OR possibly free (I can take 1 or 2 students in that category). But this is a persons livelihood. It's how they pay the bills.

Does she own the flute? I know a few children who teach themselves music using apps, and have got to a high standard. Not because of lack of household funds - that’s just how they learn. Have you thought about that?

It's not fair to judge this just on the increase without also considering market rates. If £32 was way below market rates and £40 is the market rate now you'd be unreasonable. You'd have benefited from a discount which is no longer available, which is tough but not unfair. If £40 is way above market rates then it's a different situation. If so could you find a different teacher if you want to carry on?

If that's for an hour, it's below the recommended rates for music lessons (for a properly qualified tutor). When I had private lessons a few years ago, my teacher raised the price in line with what his professional association advised. I was paying more than £40 per hour. Perhaps he gave you a reduced rate to start?

If your overall budget is that tight, you need to find a way to increase earnings or drop the lessons completely.

Can you explain further @WouldRatherBeOnaBeach as I think most of us are wondering how and why your weekly budget is so low for five people.

Why is your husband “giving” you 85 a week? You’re married. Alll the money is family money. I would rather saw off my right arm than live in a “marriage” where my husband pays me below minimum wage to be his wife and feed his children. You cannot possibly think this is a healthy relationship.

The flute bit is the least of your problems.

That is one way to learn but if you want to learn properly, you have to have proper in-person lessons. A good, professional tutor will not only teach good technique, posture, breathing etc but also help with advice and guidance on music choices, progression and opportunities to play with others. Having lessons is also excellent motivation to practice!

Really? You're spending nearly half the food budget on bloody flute lessons for one child? I'm sure your kids would rather eat. That's without getting into the financial set up. Mumsnet housewives never cease to amaze.

The biggest red flag on your post is the amount of money your DH gives you per week for a family of 5.

Do you have a job?
Do you have access to money?
How much does your DH earn?
Are you being financially abused?
What's the £85 meant to cover?

I am assuming you are not a poor family because flute lessons are not a necessity.

Honestly @WouldRatherBeOnaBeach l hope you are ok. You're focusing on flute lessons, when you should be focusing on the 'allowance' from your DH

I think she means the money for the lessons is monthly which she saves from the weekly food budget to pay. So flute lesson - £40 for month and food £ 340 a month.

It's impossible to feed your family on £85 a week me etc mind paying the flute lesson to I would think.
Let me guess, you hand no access to your DHs bank account 🙄