Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

How long is the flute lesson? The average payment is £36-50 per half an hour intermediate or £45-60+ per hour for advanced students..

London tends to be more expensive than elsewhere.

It doesn't sound as though the lessons are expensive but you don't have enough money from husband alone to feed you all for the week. Presumably you earn too.

How on earth do you feed 5 people on £85 a week (minus flute money). If you’re spending £40 a week on lessons you’ll have £45 for food? How often is she having flute lessons? Can she go less often? Are there cheaper teachers?

You cannot afford lessons. Why isn’t she getting them from school, for free? They all have woodwind teachers.

How much does your husband earn? Where is his money going, and why don’t you have access to a joint bank account with all funds and a budget decided together?

£85 a week less £32 for the lesson is £53 a week to feed a family of 5? How and why is this happening? You can't feed a family of 5 on £53 aa week (going down to £45). Something needs to change. Unless you are extremely poor, in which case you need to reach out for help from food banks etc and accept you can't afford music lessons, then your husband is either completely clueless or it is financial abuse. In any of those scenarios you need to get a job to supplement household income and/or have more financial freedom for yourself. If it's the latter you will need either serious professional intervention or in the worst case, divorce.

I'm also wondering how long the lessons are? Ds has 15 minutes with a teacher once a week at school and makes the rest up with YouTube videos. It's £13 a week. I'd love to give him more, he seems to be quite good at it but it's all we can afford.

I'm so glad my husband isn't like this, he gives you £85 like your a child...anyway flute lessons are between £40-45 around here so you've had a good cheap one for a long time...I mean my takeaway just put there prices up between£4-8 per meal so in that context I don't think it's bad tbh but ye not sure why your allowing your hubby to give you so little

You can’t afford for your child to have flute lessons - not unless you/a relative wants to gift a years worth of lessons as a Christmas present and pay upfront. You should be spending the money on feeding your family instead. Tell your DH he needs to pay for the lessons himself separately from the food budget.

To answer the original question, my DC's piano lessons went up by a big % when the company tipped over the VAT threshold. Could it be that?

But that is not the question you need to be asking.

£85 to feed a family of 5 for a week is just about do-able but not if £40 of that is taken up by a music lesson. How long is the lesson and are there any alternatives via the school?

Either your husband will have to give you more money for food each week or you will have to find the money from somewhere if you want to keep up the lessons.

Do you have other sources of income? Access to joint bank account? Your own earnings? Child benefit money?

Take this as an opportunity to- find a different instrument. I spent years as a kid learning the flute. Got distinction in grade 8 and full marks in one of my very difficult pieces. Then barely touched it again.

When did you last put some flute music on Spotify? Lizzo is the lone exception.
It isn’t a sociable instrument, it’s incredibly hard to join an orchestra to meet people as there are so many flautists and no one ever wants to hear it. Guitars, violins, pianos, saxophone, drums would be way better. Can always join a little band as an adult. Or even an obscure instrument like the French horn or bassoon. Always demand in orchestras.
I’m sad my parents had no clue about this when they picked flute for me at 7 years old.

Newsflash. Your child is not going to earn her living playing the flute. Chances are that she will put it down at some point in the very near future and never pick up a flute again in her life. Flute lessons are not important to her or to your family. All they are doing at this stage is causing hardship.

Cancel the flute (<insert any other hobby here) lessons. These kids activities are literally "fun to have if you can afford it" things. They are not things that should impact on feeding your family.

My friend spent thousands and thousands on her child who showed promise in a particular sport, She invested so much time and energy and he spent time on that which should have been spent studying at school. He stopped age 16 and has never thought about it again.

Wondering same. You can't be using the food budget for hobby lessons @WouldRatherBeOnaBeach , even 85 a month for 5 is cutting it fine I think

You can’t. spend half of your ‘income’ on one child.

My dd used to play the flute. She was quite good and then she stopped and now she does other things.

The top and bottom of the situation is you can’t afford it. She will have to look on YouTube or whatever.

So you are currently feeding a family of 5 on £53 a week? The rest of the money goes on flute lessons? I am very perturbed by this. If your DH wants the lessons to continue he needs to pay them so you can use the full £85 per week to feed you all.

I can’t believe your DH seriously expects you to spend almost half your paltry budget on a flute lesson with his friend!
Where does your child benefit go? Do you work -or are you eligible for UC to top up your income?
I am not surprised by the cost of the lesson per se - but agree the increase is huge. This is a side issue though as it seems your DH is completely unrealistic about the cost of food.

The priorities in your household are totally wrong. £53 is not enough money for a family of 5 to eat healthily. What are the reasons it’s £85?

The problem isn't the flute teacher, it's your husband. I don't know how you've been managing to feed everyone on such a paltry amount but it's not enough.

It might be that your husband doesn't earn much but I suspect he's probably a high earner who is abusing you financially. People who are generally struggling for money wouldn't have been spending £32 on a flute lesson in the first place.

If he is a low earner then you need to get back to work too (if he has to "give" you money then I'm presuming you don't work). If he isn't, then this is a marriage problem.

Obviously you can’t spend half of your family’s weekly budget for food on one child’s flute lessons. That’s not sustainable.

If someone has already had one or more years of tuition, they will have a good grounding in the basics, if the teacher was effective.
Jacob Collier taught himself several instruments - and yes was in a very musical family but much of his learning was self-led,
I speak with first hand knowledge of children who have taught themselves how to play an instrument using online programmes. It may not be ideal but in the circumstances it could work!
Oh and Paul McCartney is self-taught.

That would be a rate for an hours lesson ?
we would pay slightly less round here -36 to 38 but cities tend to be higher and you should be using the 85 to pay for food

but your whole finances seem off

what visibility do you have of his income?

what opportunities are there for you to work ?

The flute lessons aren’t your issue here as such - £40 if that’s for an hour is a reasonable price. The issue is that you’re only being given £85 a week. You can’t possibly take flute lessons out of that amount and feed the family well. That’s what needs addressing.

Some people can self learn - just like some people can become a millionaire on the back of nothing - but on average people do better with a tutor

how they afforded to buy a flute with the kind of food budget OP is talking about … this is either a piss take or serious abuse

Having food is also good motivation to keep your children out of food poverty

This post is confusing. If that’s actually your budget and it’s not abuse or a typo then you can’t afford the lessons. And never could really. The problem isn’t the flute teacher who has been giving you mates rates until now.

More information needed. What is the family income? Why do you only get £85 per week to feed 5 people? Do you and DH work? It sounds like the flute lessons are not the issue - apart from the fact that you can't afford them.