Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

Another clergy wife here. I'm sorry things are difficult but I have to say I'm always puzzled as to why some clergy households claim to struggle so much when they are housed for free. Having rented privately before living in a clergy house, I consider it a massive advantage that has hugely improved our living standards. I do work so we have a second income, and I would strongly advise you to do the same. But even as you are, a stipend is more than £2k a month in hand and even with the bills, I don't understand how you cannot make ends meet.

And you're hugely fortunate to already own a property - we are only just starting to save for that so we have somewhere to retire to.

Plus we are still paying back a debt that was run up while my husband did his training.

Also this - just pointing out that you would have been housed and received a family maintenance grant for your living costs while he was in training, so not sure why you ran up a debt. It sounds like you need some advice on how to manage your finances better.

None of this sounds like the CoE - maybe it's a minor Christian sect?

Have you accessed support for clergy? There's quite a few charities that offer support for clergy children, music education and the like.
Try clergy spice on Facebook, good luck

Fife cancelled free lessons years ago. The exception is where kids are takingMusic as an exam subject.

Believe it or not, it was cancelled under Labour - imbecile councillor claimed that music lessons were ‘elite’.

I worked in a Fife school at the time and wrote a letter of protest.

When SNP took over years later, the same councillor blamed them.

They were never reinstated - never a priority for the Cooncil.

This. My eldest played the flute and she enjoyed it. I can see the attraction. She also joined an orchestra. BUT This was back in the day when the cost of living was less of a burden. I would not have agreed if she was taking such a huge chunk of the family budget.

Twice monthly gives her the opportunity to learn a beautiful instrument and end up being less of a strain on your resources

I really hope this is a joke otherwise you need to consider if you're being coercive controlled. Your husband 'gives' you £85 a week and you have to also buy the food for the whole house?! I'm assuming you don't work, do you not discuss household income and outgoings together then make a decision about what you, as a family, can afford? This is not a marriage, you sound like a nanny.

Your partner expects you to feed and pay for extra curriculars with that amount? I think you have a bigger issue here than flute lessons. That’s financial abuse. Do you get any money for you? For essentials for yourself?

I don't think the lesson cost is unreasonable, sadly. The music teacher also has bills to pay. It might be cheaper to get lessons through school as these are usually subsidized.

It's worth looking into tax relief for work related expenses including uniforms, heating, lighting and broadband etc. I got quite a bit of money from doing that. I don't know how business related expenses are covered by the Church but presumably he should get a mileage allowance and recompense for any printing etc. Presumably you only have to pay contents insurance for the Vicarage as the building isn't yours?... I feel you are paying for things you oughtn't.

Does he get the Easter and Christmas plate? I'm Catholic and our priest has it set up that people can pay by bank transfer as well as putting cash in the collection. I'd hope the parishioners would be generous enough that it would fund the lessons for the whole year. I think they'd be horrified you were living on so little.

How do you know the flat is leasehold? I'm investigating buying the freehold on mine: it's a legal right. And some flats are sold freehold.

In OP's case, it seems that the buildings insurance for the vicarage should be paid by the diocese. As a current leaseholder, however, I'm liable to insure the buildings, not the freeholder or management company. I think that's because they own the land, not the building. My buildings insurance costs about ten times the cost of the ground rent.

And some flats are sold freehold

In England and Wales if you buy a share of freehold or the freehold of the building.

Share of freehold means you still have a leasehold flat but separately you have to decide between the other freeholders anything about the common spaces roof garden etc plus the insurance of the building and other stuff. Every cost has to be discussed and divided between all the freeholders

If you own the freehold then your flat is still leasehold but you separately own the freehold (ground in which the building stands.

As freeholder it is your responsibility to insure, repair and maintain the infrastructure of the building, common spaces and gardens etc and collect the ground rent and service charges

Freehold flats are not really the same as freehold houses. They come with many more complications

It’s costs me more than £85.00 per week to feed myself, I won’t eat rubbish food and quality costs money, I don’t drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs some people will pay for their vices rather than pay for good food. I also pay towards my girlfriends and her daughters expenses, she’s got very little money, I especially contribute towards the child as I don’t want her to go without, but I don’t pay for frivolities for her.

I grew up poor to a single mother, she’s foreign, one thing her culture does is spend money on food food, that’s what I was taught as a youngster.

Even at the old price for the lessons, if I only had £85.00 per week for keeping the family the lessons would have never started in the first instance, why should the other kids go without to feed another child’s hobby? Say one of the other children is very talented in a subject, is that child going to be pushed to one side whilst the other gets her lessons?

With regards to you mentioning the 3% inflation rate it’s a headline that doesn’t reflect ordinary folks cost of living, you need to understand economics. The teacher runs a business and he can charge what’s he likes, he is not bound by inflation rates, whether he got it right or or wrong will show up in his annual turnover

If want extras I’ve always worked harder or taken on another job or i may have a look at my finances and have a look at what I can change to accommodate the new expense. But clearly you are already budgeting very well, honestly, I have no idea how you manage for feed so many people on just just under £2.50 per day per person, A Tesco’s meal deal costs more than that and that’s only for one meal !

Cant you find an online tutor? I take language lessons twice a week and that costs me about£100.00 per month. Because the teacher in question is based in Greece and the cost of living is lower. When I was looking to learn French I found teachers in African former French colonies who were charging less then £4.00 per hour, South America has loads of cheap Spanish teachers because of colonialism as well. Maybe there are foreign music teachers that charge less?

The App I use is called Preply and it has many different subject matters from teachers all over the world. If your husband insists on you using his mate for lessons tell him to cough up the full amount of the lessons on top of the weekly housekeeping he pays you. Better still, let him run the household on £53.00 per week and see how he fares.

You should have a vlog or Yoi Tube Channel to show people how to budget for a family, if it earns you money you can pay for the flute lessons? Then again your hubby may give you less housekeeping if you started earning money on the side, he sounds like a real tight wad to me.

Having £340 left out of nearly £2000 a month, when you don't have to pay housing costs sounds wrong. I understand that fuel is expensive, but I'd strongly suggest you look into the full extent of the bills and make sure you actually see some bank statements, and actual bills, because I'd suggest you're being very likely short changed! I'd also suggest you think about other ways to warm the house, draft-proofing, heated blankets etc.
If genuinely all you've got left over is £85 per week, you need to sit down and have a proper think about whether DH's job is genuinely worth your kids living in poverty, and giving up their hobbies etc.

On your original question, I don't think an increase from £32 to £40 is too bed - however long you've been with them is irrelevant; it's probably easier to put prices up by a round amount every few years, than to increase in line with inflation and costs every year or so and end up wanting people to pay £36.62 or whatever. It feels a big jump, but it's in line with other music lessons costs I've seen locally (and less than some too!), and doesn't seem ridiculous for 1:1 private tuition. It's also possible he's been giving you a discount that he can't or won't any longer.
If you're genuinely struggling (and from the costs you've given I'd say you are!) then it's fair to say 'Gary, I'm really sorry, but is there any room to negotiate on price from Emily's flute lessons? They were a bit of a stretch as was, and we just can't afford the price increase. You know Ken has taken a salary cut with this job, and the increase would mean Emily has to quit flute.' If not, then have a look locally for group lessons/ orchestra stuff that might be cheaper. Or maybe ask if it's possible for her to join a group lesson instead?