to think family charging for Christmas dinner is poor form?

[OneTicketForChristmasDinner]

My family are going for Christmas at my sister’s house and she’s just said she wants £30 for us to attend! It’s not like I show up empty handed, I always bring a bottle of wine and some crackers for the cheeseboard. It’s put a bad taste on my mouth and I’m tempted to tell her to sod the charge and we’ll spend Christmas at home, but then the children will miss out on Christmas with all their cousins and grandparents. IABU to think charging family for their Christmas dinner is wrong?

£30 for the whole family? Seems pretty reasonable and she's told you in advance.

I wouldn't charge personally but it depends on a few things. How many is she catering for? Whats her financial position like? £30 each or for the whole family? A bottle of wine and some crackers is hardly really helping lighten the load is it, so yeah, depends on a lot of stuff.

To be honest I wouldn’t ask but family have given me money for Christmas dinner (ahead of it) to help out. That was a few years ago dread to think how much it would cost now to do it. Crackers and bottle of wine isn’t exactly going to make a dent in her costs

If she always ends up hosting then asking for help with the costs is fair.
£30 for a whole family of 4 is fine, unless you mean £30 each which would seem a lot.

Why should your sister pay for everyone’s dinner and all you bring is wine and crackers….. If it’s £30 for you and your kids that sounds reasonable.

If you are not comfortable paying bring more than crackers

I think wine and crackers is a joke!!
Shes cooking and preparing for everyone, then had to sort the house out when you’ve all gone!
You could suggest that each couple/ family bring a course, enough to feed everyone, together with all the drinks required for that course.
That might be fairer…….

Does she always host? Do you ever?

Does she always host? If so you’re a CF to complain

If she hosts every year and is always picking up the cost then YABU.
If you catered last year and no one else contributed then YANBU.

A bottle of wine and some crackers 😂

Pay up or host it yourself and pay all associated costs.

Does she host every year? If so, I think its cheeky to only contribute a bottle of wine and a packet of crackers.

If everybody takes turns in hosting, then it would even out so no need to ask for contributions.

A bottle of wine and some crackers?? No wonder she's asking for a cash contribution! Have you any idea how much hosting Christmas actually costs?

We don’t charge but we do split the shopping between three families.

Food costs have shot up considerably, if everyone is expecting her to host and no one offers to give her a break I think you are bloody cheeky turning your nose up whilst thinking some cheapo crackers and a bottle of wine is sufficient enough to thank her for her hard work and expense.

Do your own dinner and see how much that comes to.

We always give money to the host. Christmas dinner (and all the other stuff eg chocolates, crackers, fuel etc) is expensive and hosting is stressful, so some cash and making sure to help as much as possible is the least we can do.

I’ve never asked and never would, however as we host every year my mil and fil always chip in (usually chuck some money in a Xmas card to put towards the big meal). My dsil makes little crackers with personalised gifts inside as her contribution, again nobody has ever asked they just offer. I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking for money towards it but equally wouldn’t dream of not chipping in

Did she actually say 'Its £30 to attend' or did she say 'it works out that if we contribute £30 each that should cover everything' because there is a difference between those two things. Does she host every year? If she does and you take a bottle of wine and a box of crackers, you're a CF. If not, then perhaps she just can't afford it but would still like to host. Ultimately, you don't have to go.

You could always offer to host?

I host christmas every other year for my family and whilst I never charge people temd to contribute more than a dingle bottle of wine and some crackers. Everyone come with a couple of bottles of nice wine/spirits and then I also assign different things to different people so someone brings a couple if puddings, someone brings the ham for the evening, someone brings the cheese and crackers, someone is in charge of sweets and chocolates, etc.

Good grief £30 per head (maybe not kids) is still an absolute steal. A bottle of wine and a box of crackers is stingy imo. Do her a favour and cater for yourself at home. It will cost you way more and be a lot more effort.

If she is unable to afford to host without a contribution then I’d rather pay and all be together (and not have to cook!). Sounds like good value to me.

Yeah I think we are missing a lot of information here. But bringing crackers and a bottle is surely the bare minimum?

I dunno, wine and crackers don't really cover the cost and stress of providing Christmas dinner for several people.

I personally wouldn't charge my family but my family would bring more to the table than wine and crackers

More information needed. Does she always host? Is it £30 each? Does she put on a lovely dinner?
Might she be secretly be hoping you do actually say naff off - or even come to us this year?

Does she end up hosting alot?

I do and there's been a few years when we've been financially struggling that I've begrudged the cost of it all a little. Buying bloody crackers for everyone is nearly £30.

I did once tell my siblings to bring drinks - soft and alcoholic One sibling arrived with a bottle of cheap lemonade.

Edit - I mean party bang/joke/hat crackers. Not cheese biscuits

poor form. As a host, you do that - host - with dignity and grace. Whatever happened to cutting your cloth...