to think family charging for Christmas dinner is poor form?

[OneTicketForChristmasDinner]

My family are going for Christmas at my sister’s house and she’s just said she wants £30 for us to attend! It’s not like I show up empty handed, I always bring a bottle of wine and some crackers for the cheeseboard. It’s put a bad taste on my mouth and I’m tempted to tell her to sod the charge and we’ll spend Christmas at home, but then the children will miss out on Christmas with all their cousins and grandparents. IABU to think charging family for their Christmas dinner is wrong?

I think if you’re going to ask for money it’s good to say at the time of the invitation. Did she? She has given you plenty of time it seems if you don’t want to go. Like others say more context is needed. I’m surprised voting is the way it is. I voted YANBU as when I invite people I don’t expect them to pay me. She didn’t need to invite people.

Your contribution is below par, maybe buy the turkey?

Or just stay home and fund it all yourself?

Stay at your own home this Christmas and celebrate there with your bottle of wine and crackers. Problem solved

We generally all chip in - it's a huge cost for any one person/couple to cover, especially these days. Not only is she not being unreasonable, I think you are being unreasonable not to have offered already!

Haha of course “it makes sense” to you for someone else to pay and cook for you all year on year. £30 for a family to attend is a bargain and well done sister for putting on her Big Girl Boots. You’ve been a CF for not pulling your weight and returning the favour.

I guess it's not something I'd think to do. But then again if I didn't club together with my mum to pay for the dinner I cook I would need donations else I couldn't really afford to feed more than about four people.

The alternative is cook yourself (turkey alone is way more than £30 usually) or go out to eat where you'll probably get something a bit mediocre and again, it would be £30 plus per person.

Exactly this!

My family 'like' to have turkey, beef and lamb - that's a lot of money before I even think about everything else.

We are happy to sink the cost but if we were struggling, as so many are, I would expect them to help out.

I think this is a clear choice.

Pay or stay at home. I personally would say I'll pop in later after they've eaten for an hour or so.

Count your lucky stars that you have a generous and great cook for a sister and pay the money.

And don’t be jealous by ‘joking’ that she’s trying to outdo Nigella either.

Be grateful that someone loves you that much that they are prepared to put in the effort and make something special.

And while you are at it… buy her an extra present to show your gratitude for all the years she has been hosting.

Tbh it costs a small fortune to host people for Christmas.

We spent over £100 in the butchers alone last year, that was on top of the supermarket shop for all the sides, desserts, cheese, booze.

Not once has anyone offered to A. Host alternate years or B. Chip in towards food/drink. Take into account that she will be doing most of the work and a bottle of wine and some cheesy ritz doesn’t cut it.

I’m not convinced this is a genuine post as it sounds like such a piss take but if it is YABU

Is this a joke? I can't believe you haven't already offered your share of the cost previously. A bottle of wine and some crackers. So you basically turn up empty handed.

We did this when my mum was alive

You are a CF and a lazy, entitled taker. The work and the cost of hosting a family is enormous. Asking for a £30 contribution is clearly a response to your skinflint attitude of 'a bottle of wine and some crackers'.

Why haven't you been offering to pay for all of these years?

You’re being mega unreasonable. Wine and crackers is no help at all and a very measly offering compared to a full Christmas dinner. If it is genuinely best for the family to have it at her house and she’s prepared to every single year (which is so much work too btw, not just the monetary cost) then you should have been suggesting splitting the cost between the families years ago.

With the cost of food now a days,I would probably charge too.

If you rotate the Christmas hosting no charge, if one person always does it fair enough to ask for a contribution and not just a token bottle of wine and a few crackers. It gets expensive and it's hard work, buying everything, organising everything, doing the cooking, etc. There have been a few posts from people who are always expected to host who are fed up with being taken for granted.

Tell your sister I'll be coming in your place if you like, £30 to have someone who rivals Nigella cooking my Christmas dinner and hosting me sounds amazing.

So she hosts every year. You take a bottle of wine and some biscuits for cheese.

Then on top of that you and your mum laugh about her behind her back.

You’re not coming across great OP!

It’s hard work and a huge cost to cook Xmas dinner for many

£30per family seems a bargain

the meat , veg , stuffing , piggies ,yorkies then puddings , cheese , crackers , cream etc let alone drinks all add up

Btw OP you should probably go and read the ‘annoying things guests do at Christmas’ thread… it might ring some (Christmas) bells.

With your update you are bejng really unreasonable.

Don’t forget your bottle of wine and some crackers for the cheese!!

OP has said she’s previously offered to bring a course. I don’t think that makes you cheeky if they’ve refused offers. If they refuse and asked for cash it’s probably just best to pay as it’s what the host wants and she’s putting in the work.

Stay at home and cater for yourself then. I can guarantee it will cost you far more than £30, plus you'll have to do all the hard work and cleaning up and entertaining.
I host either Christmas Day, Boxing Day or New Years every year for around 10 people and it costs a fortune. I don't ask for money, but we do share the work by each hosting a day (me, my sister and my parents). A box of crackers and a bottle of wine is lovely, but wouldn't even touch the sides.

Don't go - and see how much of a dinner you can make for your family for the cost of a bottle of wine and some crackers.