Unhinged text from school mum, wwyd?

[letmeeatcrisps]

Saturday lunchtime I received this text from a mum of a girl in my kids class. We are friendly enough but would not really communicate outside school. I was pretty shocked - asked her if she’s ok, is she on her own with the kids, and I messaged another local mum who knows her to ask “is she ok, do you know if she has mental health problems”. Other mum responded with “I’m not getting involved”. Ok. No problem! Enjoy your weekend.
i showed my mum the texts, she was shocked, but said .. there’s nothing you can do except go to the police. It’s not the school’s problem. Ok, i get that, but this woman has admitted she has told her child to avoid mine - which is going to happen in school.
so I spoke to the school this morning, and mentioned that she told me she hopes I fall down the stairs (she was texting me abuse for a solid hour).

Schoool kind of shrugged and said well there was a case of nits in class, but they would never name names and it’s not really a big deal if kids do get them.
i said, exactly, i would just treat it, inform others and move on - I don’t think it warrants abuse!!

My daughter doesn’t have nits - actually never has - so I’m beyond confused as to what this woman is thinking

i have been ostracised a little bit by her group of friends - ie we used to go as a group to go to the park after school. My kids are suspected neurodivergent and it always resulted in a meltdown so I have since stopped going to the park with them. I explained this. But it’s like this has suddenly made me public enemy number one. My main concern is that, with parents like this - that my children may end up ostracised and bullied.

i spoke to my family court solicitor briefly (we fled dv 3 years ago but dad wants 50/50 so we are now at a section 7 cafcass report). She advised not reporting it to the school/police as it would come up with cafcass.

so, everyone I have spoken to about this in my life, has told me “let it go”. AIBU to be shocked that .. we just let this sort of thing slide nowadays???

YABU - she was clearly having a rough day but nothing can really be done
YANBU - it’s understandable that you feel you can’t just ignore it

any advice? Do I look for a new school??

She sounds like she's having some sort of psychotic breakdown or manic episode. Just make an effort to avoid her and her kids in future. I would let it slide as it seems like an incoherent rant rather than a genuine threat to you. There's nothing to suggest she's actively planning anything dangerous, but it really sounds like someone with severe MH issues.

Wow, what a nutcase. And calling your children dumb is actually horrendous.

Were there threats in other messages? Or just ‘hopes’ you fall down the stairs? Either way actually I’d probably go to the police for a bit of advice. She sounds like she’s unraveling.

Hard avoid and I know most people would say I’d be massively overreacting but I’d be thinking about moving schools because I wouldn’t want my child around that sort of person or their kids, frankly. If she’ll go off like that on a stranger god knows what they are hearing at home!

She sounds unhinged, but, other than giving a heads-up to the teacher and maybe the safeguarding lead in case the children are affected by this at school, I don’t think I’d engage further.

Oh my gosh!! That's outrageous. Definitely report to local non emergency police. This is not only a threat to you but also your child. Screen shot and log everything. letter to the school copied to governors. Sorry this is happening to you OP.

OP, that is not normal behaviour, I would be really upset receiving a message from a parent.
I would avoid them as much as I can and if abuse continued, unfortunately move schools. Its awful noone is stepping up to help you.

What a complete nutcase. Kids get nits, recurrently, they always have and always will - particularly girls as they have long hair. I had a nit comb, some nit shampoo, a zapper which I remember frequently using in my primary school years without it traumatizing me.

Text messages and Whatsapp allow parents to speak to one another in ways they never would irl. This has obviously been bubbling up for a while so there's obviously been things going on that has wound her up from your end. But this is massively OTT and yes abusive.

Definitely get some support in going forward but please don't take her personally.

Just ignore her. Seriously. I'd ignore someone like that. I have a school mum who walks past me and yells abuse at me and my children because we are apparently petrified of her huge dog. I told her im not scared of your dog, im anxious a bit due to being attacked by a big dog twice!!! and Im allergic to dog hair and cat fur, but her dog is actually very sweet, is very docile and gentle going past, but she wouldn't listen kept yelling at us to f off and screaming im teaching my children to be scared of dogs and then on other occasions she swore for her kids to quick cross the road before She (me) says anything about Buster being near her f####ing kids again. I was actually very upset. They are just 2 and 4 yr old little boys who have done nothing wrong. Now her children and her husband have joined in the abuse too. Its uncomfortable but I just take the high road and cross over to the other side. Ignorance is best ignored.

Id put the messages on the school whatsapp, let other people see them

Almost all kids get nits. If she’s making her kids cry with the nit comb then she’s doing it wrong. Yes, I gave deloused, long, thick hair. nits prefer clean hair rather than dirty hair so it’s got nothing to do with regular washing.

apart from that the woman is a nutcase, she’s done you a favour by getting her kids to stay away from yours.

Obviously she’ll be keeping her child (the one with lovely long, thick hair) off school while the nits is clearing up

I would probably go to the police with it, she has clearly got to the end of some sort of tether, does your child have nits ? Not that you deserve being threatened but with the other mum "not getting involved," it might be ongoing chat amongst them all.

Just ignore her. For all you know she sent the message to others in the school as well.

Why is this sort of behaviour excused by "mental health"?
Can't anyone just be and out and out tw*t anymore?
I would be having words with her in the playground 😉

School are not going to get involved in a situation where one parent is texting another. It’s not their jurisdiction.

parents are allowed to tell their kids to stay away from other kids.

i can only see one message which seems, erm, somewhat ranty so maybe I’m missing the others?

block and move on.

nothing school can do and unlikely police will care unless she repeats it.

(side note, are you 100% sure your kids don’t have nits? Most schools have a family that has repeated infections and that they are tearing their hair out over)

I would wonder if she has got the wrong parent and is blindly lashing out at anyone with a daughter after her child has said it’s a girl in their class with nits.

Fwiw, school would never disclose which child in a class has been found to have nits - but kids won’t shut up about such things!!

She's unhinged, but it's look like she's at the end of tether.

I have seen (not as bad) furious messages on our class and school whatsapp groups, not targeting anyone specifically, but mothers obviously in a rage to have nits problems AGAIN - when frankly no one else did care.

Messages were public, not personal, so it must be a sensitive issue in some houses!

Of course show the school so they're aware of the threat against your child by her own children or herself around the school .

There's not much else you can do, I am not sure I would even bother going to the police about a single message.

That’s not true, by the way.

(edit - about them preferring clean hair).

She should not be so threatening and rude but is there an ongoing issue with headlice? How can she be sure it’s from your child ?

Is that a screenshot from an iPad?

Mate so sorry you’re having to go through family court as well as this. I think you should inform the police in case this harassment continues, escalates or affects your daughter directly.
I would do this, regardless of how you feel because Cafcass may well find out anyway when they speak to the school and your child, especially if this escalates, I would get out in front of it.
if you want to move schools this could be deemed as a black mark against you as a parent for not providing stability, you haven’t done anything wrong and you don’t need to hide this. It’s a good opportunity to show Cafcass that you are levelheaded and sensible
I have been through 2 section 7 processes in the past, one with an absolute witch and the other a lovely officer, in both situations, I think it would’ve been better to be straight about it.
Make sure to tell your ex what’s going on, be very calm and level about it as you are here. Solicitors have given me bad advice many times, you still have to make your own decision and can’t just rely on doing what they tell you. Good luck!

If your shoes, I'd listen to my solicitor. You're paying them for their expertise and to advise on your best interests.

I suspect that from your solicitors POV, filing a complaint will mean that your ex will be able to use this as evidence that you are failing as a parent and sending your children in woth repeated lice outbreaks and also having interpersonal issues with other parents. Doesn't matter if that's right or wrong, it will be his angle and you will be handing him that on a plate.

Take your solicitors advice.

Block her, focus on your kids.

She does sound deranged but on the whole her spag is pretty good, I'd expect a rant like that to be barely literate.

I'm surprised the school were so dismissive

School can't really intervene in two parents falling out over text though can they?