Unhinged text from school mum, wwyd?

[letmeeatcrisps]

Saturday lunchtime I received this text from a mum of a girl in my kids class. We are friendly enough but would not really communicate outside school. I was pretty shocked - asked her if she’s ok, is she on her own with the kids, and I messaged another local mum who knows her to ask “is she ok, do you know if she has mental health problems”. Other mum responded with “I’m not getting involved”. Ok. No problem! Enjoy your weekend.
i showed my mum the texts, she was shocked, but said .. there’s nothing you can do except go to the police. It’s not the school’s problem. Ok, i get that, but this woman has admitted she has told her child to avoid mine - which is going to happen in school.
so I spoke to the school this morning, and mentioned that she told me she hopes I fall down the stairs (she was texting me abuse for a solid hour).

Schoool kind of shrugged and said well there was a case of nits in class, but they would never name names and it’s not really a big deal if kids do get them.
i said, exactly, i would just treat it, inform others and move on - I don’t think it warrants abuse!!

My daughter doesn’t have nits - actually never has - so I’m beyond confused as to what this woman is thinking

i have been ostracised a little bit by her group of friends - ie we used to go as a group to go to the park after school. My kids are suspected neurodivergent and it always resulted in a meltdown so I have since stopped going to the park with them. I explained this. But it’s like this has suddenly made me public enemy number one. My main concern is that, with parents like this - that my children may end up ostracised and bullied.

i spoke to my family court solicitor briefly (we fled dv 3 years ago but dad wants 50/50 so we are now at a section 7 cafcass report). She advised not reporting it to the school/police as it would come up with cafcass.

so, everyone I have spoken to about this in my life, has told me “let it go”. AIBU to be shocked that .. we just let this sort of thing slide nowadays???

YABU - she was clearly having a rough day but nothing can really be done
YANBU - it’s understandable that you feel you can’t just ignore it

any advice? Do I look for a new school??

I would keep it and if there are further messages or any other escalation, go to the police and report her for harassment

Yeah with a, 'my child does not have nits so who is the message for' tag.

Although in truth I wouldn't do that BC the text sounds like she's a right AH and while she doesn't scare me, I'd be afraid for my child.

Blimey!

Your response to the message was good.

Hard as it might be, I think the don’t engage with it approach would probably be the best one. If you know confidently that you’re not the source of the nit infection, then leave it be. Her behaviour is not okay, and I can understand it may have been quite triggering for you, however, I think it’s the pick your battles situation in your circumstances.

Sadly yes, I agree with what others have said as well that maybe your children not being friends with their children wouldn’t be so bad. You don’t need that kind of drama in your lives.

It really depends on how petty you like to be.

She is totally unreasonable - so firstly I'd be sharing that in the class WhatsApp and stating "I received this message and am baffled as my child doesn't not, and ironically has never had, nits. Perhaps if you're a friend of this lady you need to help her to seek assistance for whatever mental health issue she is dealing with. We all know the school never gives out names if there is something like this going around, so I'm concerned she may be having some kind of episode" - some times simply outting someone's unhinged behaviour in a more public setting embarrasses them enough to shut them up.

Also, as a side note, nuts don't care about hair cleanliness, they care about blood - so maybe her kids have the right type of blood to keep getting them....and if her child has them and yours doesn't it would suggest that, by her own logic, her kids are dirty and she needs to care for them better 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also send an email to the school with the message attached and a note to say you are concerned the other child might be unkind to yours at the request of her mother - this is purely to create a paper trail through a professional channel in case her behaviour escalates. Never discuss this stuff in person only, or the school can deny they ever knew anything.

Seems a very abnormal message about the common issue of head lice. Id message her back asking why she think your child has head lice and that you havent taken the preventative advice/measures for your child about the common issue of head lice .

It takes two communications to report for harassment ..I text 1 call, 1 text 1 voice mail , 2 texts , 2 calls, 1 WhatsApp 1 email,

She sounds like an angry woman

Oh fgs one nasty, albeit unhinged text is NOT a police matter! 🙄 This isn’t the school playground and police are not the headteacher!

You've flagged to school so of there are any issues between her DC and yours they have this context. Obviously do follow up again if anything happens.

I would just block the woman and avoid and ignore her.

TBH I'd rather have nits than an unhinged mum like that. Good luck, girl

ignore the message and avoid her. however i would suggest you keep a copy of this interaction, so that if she does it again, you have evidence should you need to go further with this. im sorry you had to deal with that. all kids get nits at one time or another, its a fact of life. she is clearly unhinged. and fyi: nits prefer clean hair!

It’s a terrible message and, although you might be able to put it behind you, I’d be concerned that your children might be affected by this woman’s unhinged attitude. She has a group of friends, who you say have already slightly ostracised you out of school, so there seems to be some sort of malicious influence being exerted here. Let’s hope it doesn’t spread to any of the children yours go to school with.

The school should be made aware that you’ve taken this message extremely seriously and you expect them to nip things in the bud in case they escalate and affect your children.

You’ve sent this woman a reasonable reply - have nothing more to do with her.

It is common amongst school age children that they will get nits at some point. I used to check my daughter regularly by washing her hair and then put leave in conditioner on comb through with normal comb and then using a metal nit comb and after each comb wipe on white toilet paper. You can catch the critters and then treat as necessary.
What this woman has done is out of order. I personally wouldn't reply or take it further. Block her number and move on. Some people get a kick out of stirring up drama and getting a reaction. YANBU.

My daughter is almost 19 and had never had nits. I have never had nits. Its perfectly possible to not catch them at all.

It really doesn’t read as psychosis. She’s livid because her child has nits, she’s had a stressful time sorting it out, and she needs to blame someone.

My point was that some people just lash out like this, and are verbally abusive when they see red.
My sister would send me messages like this when she’s angry. I’ve heard every personal insult under the sun from her. She’s thankfully grown up a bit, but still has her moments.

Agree. Solicitor has not given good advice. CAFCASS are not going to be bothered about this one bit, it’s irreverent. She is absolutely awful. Do please speak to the school. I love the advice to share on the what’s app group, but it might backfire

Jesus Christ some of you need a bloody hobby. This thread is nuts.

I agree with this. I also have a sister who overreacts with aggressive text messages.

I think a 'lol' would've sufficed.

I am guessing she got your number from a group WhatsApp chat. I would delete her name, post all the messages in the group chat and say that this is unacceptable, you child doesn't and never has had lice. If this abuse continues it will be reported. Research other schools just in case you need to move but don't take her messages to heart. It's not normal behaviour. Is there any chance she is a friend of your ex?

T**t - block and ignore

Oh wow, that’s a bit much isn’t it, that text could be off motherland it’s so scripted, it obviously was intended to get your back up and it’s done just that. Don’t stoop to their level, it’s not worth it.