Unhinged text from school mum, wwyd?

[letmeeatcrisps]

Saturday lunchtime I received this text from a mum of a girl in my kids class. We are friendly enough but would not really communicate outside school. I was pretty shocked - asked her if she’s ok, is she on her own with the kids, and I messaged another local mum who knows her to ask “is she ok, do you know if she has mental health problems”. Other mum responded with “I’m not getting involved”. Ok. No problem! Enjoy your weekend.
i showed my mum the texts, she was shocked, but said .. there’s nothing you can do except go to the police. It’s not the school’s problem. Ok, i get that, but this woman has admitted she has told her child to avoid mine - which is going to happen in school.
so I spoke to the school this morning, and mentioned that she told me she hopes I fall down the stairs (she was texting me abuse for a solid hour).

Schoool kind of shrugged and said well there was a case of nits in class, but they would never name names and it’s not really a big deal if kids do get them.
i said, exactly, i would just treat it, inform others and move on - I don’t think it warrants abuse!!

My daughter doesn’t have nits - actually never has - so I’m beyond confused as to what this woman is thinking

i have been ostracised a little bit by her group of friends - ie we used to go as a group to go to the park after school. My kids are suspected neurodivergent and it always resulted in a meltdown so I have since stopped going to the park with them. I explained this. But it’s like this has suddenly made me public enemy number one. My main concern is that, with parents like this - that my children may end up ostracised and bullied.

i spoke to my family court solicitor briefly (we fled dv 3 years ago but dad wants 50/50 so we are now at a section 7 cafcass report). She advised not reporting it to the school/police as it would come up with cafcass.

so, everyone I have spoken to about this in my life, has told me “let it go”. AIBU to be shocked that .. we just let this sort of thing slide nowadays???

YABU - she was clearly having a rough day but nothing can really be done
YANBU - it’s understandable that you feel you can’t just ignore it

any advice? Do I look for a new school??

This is perfect 😂😂😂😂

Speak to the school, if you haven’t already. That language is not acceptable from another parent. If it was my school they would’ve spoken to the rude parent. Ask the school why she is blaming your daughter? I don’t think they would’ve told other parents who originally had the nits.

Please avoid that parent and her friends - they don’t sound nice.

£50 says this isn’t a London school. What a vile parent.

This is why I can't stand dog people anymore. It's all gone too far. They're insufferable bastards. I don't mean dog owners, I'm one myself. I mean Dog People™️ a very particular set of annoying arseholes that think their dogs are human children and will do anything to get attention for having them.

Your local mum friend who isn’t getting involved…well just wow!

Sorry I'm not much help because I'd have made sure she was meek and mild every time she saw me at the school gates from then on. Nobody would be speaking to me like that or talking about my kids like that. Thinking she's Billy big balls. I wouldn't stand for that personally.

Very classy woman… I think nits are the least of her poor kids worries!

The school and the other mum who 'didnt want to get involved are wimps. This is an issue for the school. Parents should not abuse other parents or encourage their children to pick on other children. She's pretty much admitting that her children have nits, which is ironic. I would be asking her to ensure that she is washing everything to reduce the risk of passing them on. I would stand firm over this. If she then threatens you further, then go to the school again and the police. As an aside though, are you sure that your children don't have knits? I was fairly certain that mine didn't when they were going around my daughter's class as i was inspecting her hair daily. However, when i used a knit comb with conditioner, i did find several, even though no signs of eggs. They tend to hide behind the ears and the nape of the neck. I would also be tempted to raise the issue that your children are being discriminated against and that having special needs does not equate to being dirty. Aleo point out that nits go for clean hair and suggest whe ties her daughters hair up.

Shes nuts.

I would be having words with her in the playground 😉

Sure you would. 🙄

She sounds off her rocker. I don't think the police would do anything though unless she threatened to harm you and even then they'd probably just have a word with her and ask her not to do it again.

Or report her to the police for harassment? This isn’t something you should allow to continue in front of your children!

It’s a really horrible message. But I do understand her frustration. My DDs are dual heritage with thick, curly, long Caucasian/African hair. They had nits at least four times. It’s not just the hair though. It’s pressure steaming all the pillows. Boil washing all bedding. Spraying anti nit spray on my children’s hair every morning. Sadly everybody at the school knew the family that were causing the continual infestations. It was awful for the children. One parent was threatened when they raised it with the Father. When another parent raised it with the Mother she said they’d all be ‘getting a bath’. I eventually just had enough and reported the family anonymously to social services. It simply was not fair on the children to be stigmatised the way they were. Shortly after the children had several weeks out of school and I expect some form of intervention and hopefully education was afoot.

Did you tell her your child didn't have nits?

Another annoying thread with one opening post and then silence from OP.

In the picture in the OP her reply says 'neither of my kids has nits'.

Pissed up or coked up perhaps

Someone sent you an abusive message. They sent the message in very bad language. If you are in a minority group, it is also discrimination.

You have cause for complaint to the police. You could also ask the EASS, the Advisory Service of the ECHR for their opinion if you think it is racial abuse.

Contact the local department of health. If a child has head lice - and if one has it, it is a pretty safe bet that they all have. They need to be notified, and if this accusation is untrue, they may be able to help you deal with this thoroughly nasty person. She probably cannot resist attacking someone. Perhaps you are this month's victim?

If it is any consolation, head lice are attracted to clean heads. They feed on the blood. The nits are eggs laid on the hair strands.

There is a children's book called ''Head Lice from Outer Space'' written by a mother going through the same.

Coming online is not gonna help. Its only one side of the story, we don't know what has transpired before. You already mentioned that her and her group of friends have already ostracised you. Obviously you have had ongoing issues before this and we don't know what you really did that you are not telling us. The fact that people close to you are advising you to let it go, it might be a polite way of them telling you, that you are not innocent either and you may not come out of this unscathed when everything is brought into the limelight by the police case...

Wow thats really worrying. I would find it hard to ignore especially if you have been threatened.maybe show police. Does she drink? Maybe she was writing it after a few?
She is very misinformed though as lice like clean hair and especially long hair.( cant believe people still believe its down to dirty hair)

See how she is next time you see her. If still abusive then I would look into moving your kids. And expose the message on group WhatsApp.

As a now adult with naturally blonde hair that message to me reads like a mother who has just spent HOURS combing her kids hair I unfortunately got nits a lot in school and can remember how stressed out it made both my mother and me. She is overwhelmed and has behaved appallingly and taken it out on you. Block her number, avoid her at pick up and go on with your life.

Kids get head lice. It’s nothing to do with being clean. Your indignance at insisting your DD doesn’t have lice (so what if she does, as long as you inform/treat) makes me wonder if your school need to re-iterate their policy. At our school we were expected to check for lice, using a lice comb regularly. If you found lice then you treat and tell school, who then text all parents to inform of lice outbreak and to check. Mine got lice on one occasion - school thanked me for telling them and sent text out. My kids were quite excited and told everyone it was them (!) , cue school gate conversations that were expressions of sympathy (some parents may have been snide but I never found out) and shared progress reports on treatment (I did conditioner combing with kids but chemicals for me). I would tell school this woman is encouraging her child to bully yours over a commonplace childhood condition. Show the derranged text. Then block her and avoid.

@User564523412there is no evidence this person is having a manic or psychotic episode. People can be abusive, rude, wrong, demanding, threatening, vile, etc without any mental ill health. Don’t attribute anything that deviates from what you think is acceptable behaviour as mental illness - can you see where that leads?

Her message is very rude and over the top, that's for sure.

However, how can it be that your kids have never had nits? That's very unlikely if they've been going round the class a lot. It seems more likely to me that you haven't checked properly and they've actually got them - that happened to me once, my dd had quite a few before I realised the first time.

If you'd said, my kids had them in the past and now I comb twice a week, I'd believe you when you say they don't have them. But "my kids have never had nits" - it's not believable

Yeah I think she’s drunk texted you too. Probably pissed off about something other than the nits but has chosen to focus on that. I don’t understand why people are asking if your child does have nits that’s irrelevant. Ignore in the playground. As you have told school and they won’t do anything I would just write a formal email making sure they keep an eye out for any issues between her child and yours. At least it’s documented there too in case of any escalation as she may be goading her child to behave badly to yours. I would say go to the police as it should be documented (Although I hear what your solicitor says). The spite in me at the injustice would want to put it on a WhatsApp for all to see but that’s bad advice (just what I would do 😂)