Unhinged text from school mum, wwyd?

[letmeeatcrisps]

Saturday lunchtime I received this text from a mum of a girl in my kids class. We are friendly enough but would not really communicate outside school. I was pretty shocked - asked her if she’s ok, is she on her own with the kids, and I messaged another local mum who knows her to ask “is she ok, do you know if she has mental health problems”. Other mum responded with “I’m not getting involved”. Ok. No problem! Enjoy your weekend.
i showed my mum the texts, she was shocked, but said .. there’s nothing you can do except go to the police. It’s not the school’s problem. Ok, i get that, but this woman has admitted she has told her child to avoid mine - which is going to happen in school.
so I spoke to the school this morning, and mentioned that she told me she hopes I fall down the stairs (she was texting me abuse for a solid hour).

Schoool kind of shrugged and said well there was a case of nits in class, but they would never name names and it’s not really a big deal if kids do get them.
i said, exactly, i would just treat it, inform others and move on - I don’t think it warrants abuse!!

My daughter doesn’t have nits - actually never has - so I’m beyond confused as to what this woman is thinking

i have been ostracised a little bit by her group of friends - ie we used to go as a group to go to the park after school. My kids are suspected neurodivergent and it always resulted in a meltdown so I have since stopped going to the park with them. I explained this. But it’s like this has suddenly made me public enemy number one. My main concern is that, with parents like this - that my children may end up ostracised and bullied.

i spoke to my family court solicitor briefly (we fled dv 3 years ago but dad wants 50/50 so we are now at a section 7 cafcass report). She advised not reporting it to the school/police as it would come up with cafcass.

so, everyone I have spoken to about this in my life, has told me “let it go”. AIBU to be shocked that .. we just let this sort of thing slide nowadays???

YABU - she was clearly having a rough day but nothing can really be done
YANBU - it’s understandable that you feel you can’t just ignore it

any advice? Do I look for a new school??

Agree with this actually. People on here use the “are you ok?” Or “are you quite alright”? As a passive aggressive patronising comment

Could your solicitor not send her a letter warning her of consequences of harassment?

What a fucking odd woman. So her kids are the ones with nits all the time but it’s everyone else fault? Hmmmm….

Regardless this is an absolutely absurd way to handle it. Any normal person with genuine concern that someone was leaving their kids dirty would report to social or the school. This is just psychotic. If she wanted to address it herself a civilised text to the tune of “hi sorry I know this seems a bit cheeky but X keeps catching nits, I don’t suppose you’d mind checking Y’s hair as I know they play together!” Would’ve been more appropriate

Well after she’s spent £300- what consequences would the solicitor put in?!

It's still a million times tamer than that hostile, deranged rant though.

Your friends are advising you to drop this not because we have come to accept this sort of thing nowadays, but to preserve your own sanity.

You could show the class teacher or head just so they know in case of safeguarding as the woman clearly has big problems. Otherwise, block and don't engage in any way.

Upsetting though this is, try not to take it too personally. This is a 'her' problem, not a 'you' problem.

Because basically everyone due to social media has been schooled into thinking that every act of abuse, especially from a woman is likely to not really be their fault.

Could be ADHD/trauma/dementia/Autism/mental health.

When despite the over-awareness of ND and mental health, abusive, nasty people still exist in huge numbers.

It was a totally coherent organised text message. It doesn't scream psychosis where you'd be expecting evidence of disorganised thinking.

Even if this were the case (when I was in primary school there was a family who never treated their children's headlice, and as a result everyone else was CONSTANTLY being reinfected), that is absolutely no excuse for such an unhinged, aggressive and threatening text!

It really isn’t on allowing your child to go into school and spread nits around. She’s overreacted but clearly the school don’t have much sympathy for you - which tells me you are in permanent victim status and it’s always other people

Is this in the UK or America? Because that message sounds American to me. 'tramp', 'dumb' & 'assed' aren't UK ways of saying those things. And what are 'dusty nits'?

Maybe you think that but think the vast majority of people don’t live real life like that.

OP mentioned mental health issues which presumably she had some real life reason to.

I have received texts like this from people in psychosis. I agree that it is quite long, consistent and organised for a person in psychosis, however, as I said above it could be at the start of an episode, or when someone is in a paranoid stage leading into a crisis.

OP has only posted once, and has stated in that post that her children don't have nits, so where are you getting the rest of that from - do you know the people involved?

THIS is brilliant. It shows the other mum up perfectly and is doing for others what the nasty mum wants doing - keeping kids away from others with nits!

Please don’t stop reporting crime because you don’t expect it to be prioritised/ actioned on.
That’s not how you solve that problem (too big to discuss here). It’s doing the opposite.

I lost count how many times I had to treat nits when my kids were at primary. You just get on with it and do what needs to be done, the idea of behaving like this ridiculous woman wouldn’t have occurred to me. Maybe she has a drink problem and this was a drunken rant.

How would anyone know where the nits originated from? I caught nits once in my 30s before I’d even had kids and was never in the company of kids. I was very shocked 😧

I don't think the OP needs criticised for her response or any words or tone she used. This absolute unhinged insanity was brought TO her and she's clearly taken aback by it.

What? How have you worked this out? Have actually read the thread? 🤣

Where did you get that tramp and dumb are American? Have you ever been to London? Also assed is not something people say in the US I don’t think

Of course people will. You’re saying report it just for data purposes, what a waste of time. I reported abusive messages years ago, and was furious at the time it took.
plenty of people also deal with things without needing the police to do everything for them.

Don’t let the Cafcass report hold you back from reporting this. You should also go to the police and get this terrible excuse of a human being done for malicious communication. Teach her a lesson and keep yourself and your kids safe.

what you don’t want is to look like you’re brushing things like this under the carpet because Cafcass or SS could take the dim view that you’ve not taken steps to protect your children.

Bullies like this carry on bullying unless you put a stop to it. There is a time limit on how this can be charged - think it’s 6 months so don’t sit on your hands.

Me three.

She perceives you as weak as otherwise she wouldn’t be sending you such an aggressive message. Stand up for yourself

‘Do not ever contact me again, you are unhinged. My kids don’t have nits. Yours do so take care of it. And yes keep them away from mine as I don’t want mine getting nits off yours, it’s disgusting. Contact me again and I will inform the police.

your solicitors bullshit advice makes zero sense.

I am not one to be bullied or spoken to like shit by anyone! If she approaches you say go away you’re literally insane. I’d tell the school I expect them to explain if they have told her that my children have lice when they don’t and that I want my kids away from hers as she is obviously unhinged and crazy. If it happens again you will be informing police and they will be contacting school too.

People absolutely do speak this way in the uk and have done since I was a kid in the 00s and 10s.

Southern uk

Nits aren’t a thing to Americans, lice are. This unhinged weirdo is definitely British.