To tell my elderly father that I do have objections to him marrying his partner he met 6 months after my mother died?

[Perimomof2]

My mother died 5 years ago quite suddenly after a short illness. My dad was devastated, they’d been together 50+ years. But later the same year he announced that he’d met someone, similar age and also widowed. They have been together ever since, not exactly living together but they live close by so pretty much do everything as a couple.
My sibling and I didn’t object, he was happy enough and had been clear from the start that he wouldn’t be moving in with her or vice versa and had no intention of marrying again. We don’t particularly like her (my DF has no idea, we include her in pretty much everything) but that’s our problem, not theirs.

Fast forward 5 years, he asked me out of the blue if I had any objection to them marrying. I said I did. That it was something he said wouldn’t happen, and that if I gave them my blessing it would feel disrespectful to my DM’s memory.

Was I wrong to say this? I’m concerned that if he marries his wife will have POA around health and finances and that his estate (house and savings which were accumulated jointly with my DM) will not pass solely to his two children but to his wife who his has known for a relatively short time and will subsequently be split with her children. For context, his estate is likely to be considerably larger than hers.

Because people trust their spouse, and want their spouse to be looked after when they're alive. If I die before mine, I want him to have the benefit of our joint assets. If he then died within a short time of me, I'd want that money to go to my family. If he died 30 years after me, I'd want him to have used it all up!

This would make sense if she had any reason to believe that her dad would just leave everything to his wife and disinherit her. There is no evidence that this is his plan.

With property all you need to do is have as tenants in common. Then the person who dies first leaves theirs to the kids and a clause that means the other person can live in it for lifetime. Then when the 2nd person dies the first half goes automatically to the kids whether or not they've remarried etc.

Yes, I know that. But it's not as simple when it's money

Can still leave a certain amount to the kids. Simple enough. No need for the deceased bank account to be automatically taken by their spouses.

Just state in will " the money I have in my accounts goes to my kids)

@WhistPie It is as long as you keep your finances separate and have your Wills properly drawn up by a solicitor (no DIY Wills, for example).

My Dad and late step-Mum, who were both widowed when they met, discussed this and ensured that their families would inherit. When my SM died, my Dad didn’t get a penny: if he’d gone first, she wouldn’t have inherited anything.

They married in their 70’s and had a lovely 15 years together, but they weren’t looking for financial support from each other.

My point is that you may want the assets to go in different directions depending upon the length of survival of the second person after the first death. Which is impossible to predict.

Well yes and a bit over controlling. If you have given an asset/ money to someomey to some it is then theirs so up to them to do as they wish. .I suppose other option is to tie the money up and get an annuity paid to them until death then it reverts to the kids