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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh won't let me follow his strava , I think he is secretly training for a marathon,. Should I enter too?

258 replies

Sheepondrugs · 29/11/2025 17:22

My dh's school friend is running a marathon next year. I suspect dh is planning to run it with him , although he hasn't said this to me. But dh didn't accept my follow request on strava , which suggests to me that he has something to hide.

Those who look at my previous posts will see I had issues with my dh making a big charade about the Run Through website not letting him sign up when he already was registered and already secretly had a 10k booked. ( which has long been and gone) .

I was very angry about all that , but I'm using my energy to focus on my fitness and I'm gradually increasing my distance. I'm thinking of signing up to the same event, either the half or the full marathon as I want to the accomplishment of completing one myself.

The issue is dh is just going to magically expect me to be available for childcare that day , isn't he.

OP posts:
BlaBlaBla87436780087 · 02/12/2025 03:32

I think you need therapy

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 02/12/2025 07:11

BlaBlaBla87436780087 · 02/12/2025 03:32

I think you need therapy

And you need to learn some manners.

EsmeSusanOgg · 02/12/2025 07:44

RandomMess · 30/11/2025 10:09

I think your H’s behaviour is utterly self absorbed. DH and I don’t ask for permission to do something but we have certainly always checked that it works for the other person because we have kids/pets to look after.

Sometimes one of us has forgotten to add to the calendar or something non-negotiable happens that clashes and we have to rearrange between us via discussion.

It’s ridiculous that he’s so secretive over it.

100% this. I find it bizarre so many posters have jumped on the 'you do not want him to do his hobby' bandwagon. I do wonder if you swapped running for golf or cycling if so many commented would still be having a go at the OP.

hibiscusandoliver · 02/12/2025 10:06

You’re like The Twits in real life, definitely feed him spaghetti worms. And book a weekend away for marathon day.

ToeJob · 09/12/2025 02:09

GrooveArmada · 30/11/2025 23:09

That's so offensive. I go every week (alongside three other types of exercise) and my zumba class burns over 600kcal without a fail. There are four men attending out of 25 attendees and they are struggling even though they are all fit, and runners. But of course you're top of the pops, the next Mo Farah, aren't you. Nothing better than to put other women down for looking after themselves just because it suits your weird, narrow-minded vision of the world. You should go for your run and become a nicer person.

Show quote history

How ironic.

Missey85 · 09/12/2025 02:29

If you weren't married I'd say you sound like a stalker! 🙁 Are you super glued together or can he do things alone?

Wordsmithery · 09/12/2025 03:31

OP, you know what the real issue is, don't you. You need to decide whether to stay with a secretive man who lies by omission.
If you want to do the run yourself then book it up and get family to help with childcare. There's absolutely no point waiting for the inevitable battle when you find out you're both running that day.
Put your energies into a game plan that will remove you from these unhelpful games.

firstofallimadelight · 09/12/2025 06:26

Sign up for the marathon. Tell him and ask him if he wants to come and support you or will he stay home with kids. Text him about it too at some point in case he denies the conversation.

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