To stop taking DS to a new hobby? I feel bad but overwhelmed

[Acc0untd3tails]

I've got 3 DC two of which have special needs.

6 weeks ago I enrolled DS (my eldest - 8) in an activity club which takes place on Saturdays, it was suggested by his teacher as something he'd enjoy and he does.

The problem is it's 4 miles each way and I don't drive due to epilepsy so I'm reliant on the bus. The club lasts 1.5 hours and is in a semi remote location, so i don't have enough time to go and do anything productive I just sort of hang around waiting for time to pass.

Also, in order to do this with DS his dad needs to stay up until around 2pm after a night shift to have our other two, whilst due to work again that night. Or my mum has to travel over to have them and she lives even further away.

I've started to dread going. I have ADHD myself which might have something to do with it, aimlessly standing around drives me nuts.

I feel bad but it just isn't working for us.

Would you continue with this club?

YABU - yes
YANBU - no

3 kids including 2 SEN, living rurally 15 mins from a bus stop, and nobody drives, this is not sustainable.

You have my permission to stop the club

Is there another parent at the club who can take your ds? Can you ask at the club? Can the teacher who suggested it help in any way? Don't give up just yet.

I think it’s OK to decide this is too much for you - but - first worth considering if there are any things that could make it easier for you. What about bus there (since DS loves the bus trip) and taxi back (when you are more tired and frazzled and just want to get home) Maybe sweeten the deal for DS with a nice thing that he gets to do/eat/watch when you get home after taxi so as to develop a routine pattern for Saturdays that doesn’t include bus back.

Having worked nights and getting in at 0830 having worked all night, the thought of not being able to sleep until 1400 would have be sobbing in a corner !

Dad doesn’t drive so still be bus or taxi

I know you mentioned no taxis due to finances/bus obsession but I was wondering if maybe a compromise and just get a taxi back? It would make your day/journey so much shorter.

I'm wondering if there are any other parents or charity volunteers (eg Scope) who might assist. Or could you go every other weekend so at least 2 weekends in 4 are clear? If your Mum could just do 1 weekend, you would then only be missing 1 weekend.

It must be very tiring to have three young children, two with additional needs, so I can quite understand why you are finding the journey and waiting time too onerous. If you can't get any assistance from any person or organisation, and there will be a cost to skipping every other weekend, I think it might be better if you stop going. You are obviously doing your very best but it is important that you look after your own health as well.

I hope there are some suggestions on here that are helpful.

Having read some more of the messages on here, in response to the OP saying she is feeling "overwhelmed",. I would make the following comment:

This lady has three young children, two of whom have additional needs (which, from her description, sound very challenging). I don't think she requires the "that's what parenting is all about" - type comments or suggestions that, on top of taking an easily upset child on a bus, she adds to the mix two other young children, and then hangs about with them for two hours.