Partner doesn’t want my son here on a weekend

[Happymum1782]

I have a son (5y) from a previous marriage and now a 2yo with my current partner. Due to his dad living far away we always had my son during the week and then his dad had him every weekend but recently his dad moved close by and I wanted to have my son one weekend per month so we could have family time and both kids could spend time with their sibling. We have very little time during the week as we work full time and both kids in school / childcare 9-5 every day so I have missed out on quality time with my older son while he was with his dad every weekend. I spoke with my partner about it and he agreed so I arranged it with my ex. Well this weekend is our turn to have my son and I brought it up with my partner to say we could go as a family to choose a Christmas tree. He was really unpleasant in response, rolled his eyes and said “great” in a sarcastic tone then went on to say “guess that’s my weekend ruined then. We will have no time together. I will have to spend all weekend entertaining your son”. To be clear he does very little with my son. I do all of his day to day care and playing with both kids on an evening as my partner is tired from
work. I’m really upset by his comments and he says I’m overreacting.

This is not the first time he’s been resentful towards my son, when we had our baby he would make comments saying he was dreading my son coming home from nursery because he didn’t want him there and he took away his time from being with his baby. He also struggles to regulate and snaps a lot at my son but not at our shared child. AIBU to get so upset over this?

Is this a joke? Your partner is awful. Leave him.

None of this is good. Why did you have a baby with a man who treats your child so poorly?

Sorry but this would be a dealbreaker for me. Can’t imagine any partner of mine being so vile to my own 5 year old.

What a horrible shit.

Why the fuck would you be in a relationship and have a child with someone who treats your son with such contempt?

The poor kid - prioritise him not the overgrown man baby you’ve chosen to shack up with. Stop facilitating your son being bullied and abused by the wanker.

The fact you even need to ask the question is appalling.

Leave him, before he causes catastrophic damage to your relationship with your son.

Your son is five!!!! He is already being abused by his step father and you are tolerating it. Kick him out FFS. The damage he is doing will affect your poor child forever.

How long were you with your current partner before you had a child together? Was he always a dickhead or is this new?

Either way I'd show him how to use the door 🚪 Your son is 5! FIVE.... and a grown man.... a father is annoyed at his existence?

Why do some woman put men above their child? Why are you even here asking such a stupid question? No you’re not bu to get upset and you should be telling him to fuck off and leave if he has a problem. Problem solved.

If you don't leave him, you will cause your son irreparable harm. I'm telling you this as a mama who met her husband when she had a 3 year old and a baby. There are certain things you should work through. Certain things won't be a fairy tale or like the movies. But if when I had our child together he had uttered one word of what your partner said, I would never have spoke to him again in my life. Your son is your priority. Your son needs you to protect him. His little life is literally in your hands and it's up to you to keep bad and harm away from him. Growing up not wanted is the worst feeling and you as his mama should be protecting him from that.

Sadly dick over kids seems to be all too common on here.

Some women so desperate for a bloke they’ll tolerate any old shit, including abuse of this poor children.

Please let this be a fake post...

when we had our baby he would make comments saying he was dreading my son coming home from nursery because he didn’t want him there and he took away his time from being with his baby.

This might be one of the saddest things I’ve ever read. Your son was only 3 years old when your partner was saying this about him. Only a baby himself.

This is awful. How could you do this to your son?

This has to be a fake post. If someone is going to be that poor of a mother, letting their child be treated like that, they would at least be shamefully aware?

You’re not overreacting. What you’re describing is a clear, consistent pattern of resentment and unequal treatment toward your older son; that is a serious issue.

He used the phrase "guess that’s my weekend ruined then. We will have no time together. I will have to spend all weekend entertaining your son", yet you have a 2yo that you and/or he would need to 'entertain' as well. What exactly does adding 1 more child, a child who lives with you most of the time already change?

Bluntly, I think he needs to get over himself, he's an adult who began a relationship with you when he knew you already had a child. The children are the priority and treating them both similarly will be very important and noticed by your children as they grow up. You need to talk with him.

Op. Im sorry but this is the most disgusting attitude. It speaks volumes about his deep inner character, hes clearly scum begrudging a 5 year old family time. Get rid if this man! Theres no other answer or option. look your 5 year old in the eye and know you protect him.

@Happymum1782I think you’re going to get piled on

I sincerely hope so. Otherwise the OP had a baby on purpose with a man who has never apparently troubled to hide his resentment of the OP’s small child

Was he like this towards your son before you had a baby together? Or is it just since? Either way I think you know it’s not going to get any better. You have to protect your son and separate from this awful man.

Jesus Christ I can’t believe what I’m reading. OP this is not normal behaviour. This man sounds vile. Please prioritise your poor little five year old.

Sadly it’s the latest in a long line of MN threads where a woman so desperate for a bloke, she prioritised him over her kids every time.

It sickens me that it’s so common

My god what a horrible man tell him your child was there first and if he doesn't want your child to be part of the family he’s going to have to leave he has no right to leave your child out and deprive you of your child and the kids from each other tell him to leave it would be better for you and your children!
your 5 year old gets one childhood don’t let this horrible man ruin it for him he will already have picked up on this, how could you possibly stay in this relationship.

Why have you brought this man into your child's life and then made another baby with him?

When I read this I honestly judge you more than him. He's a shit. But you're the one who owes your son a duty of care. How could you?

Be a decent mother and get rid of the manchild. This is how the abused stepchild cases that end up in the papers start.