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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU??? WhatsApp chat drama!

421 replies

PuffPastry84 · 23/11/2025 19:45

Right, apologies in advance because this is going to be long but I need some perspective because my head is spinning and I genuinely can't work out whether I'm being unreasonable and overly sensitive. With school tomorrow I can't even begin to describe how nervous I feel.

DS is in year 3 and I get on fine with most of the mums. In our playground we have the four mums who are always front and centre of organising things. The leader of them is a nice enough lady but she does have a mean streak in her which occasionally comes out.

Last week there was a Mum's Night Out planned for the Friday night. It was meant to be tapas followed by drinks. It had been mentioned in the playground that week but I wasn't really interested. Nothing came of it on the class group chat, so I assumed it was just an idea in passing. However it happened but it seems only a select chosen few went. It's not my business and adults can choose who to socialise with, but if anything it would have been the four main mums but it turned out to be a group of 12. So, it was hardly an intimate gathering amongst friends. The morning after the night out I went into the group chat to double-check something, and I saw a load of messages saying "hope everyone got home okay last night!" and loads of photos of those who went. I put a comment saying "looks like a great night!" but then my friend (whose DS is in the same class as mine) says "nice that you included everyone". That message got ignored but apparently at football practice this morning two of the dads were laughing about "group chat soap operas" which means that the situation has escalated somewhat.

Has anyone else had a situation like this? I'm dreading the playground tomorrow because obviously my friend has made that comment which has started all of this.

OP posts:
PedantsOfDestiny · 23/11/2025 19:48

Sorry, I'm not really sure what you're asking. 12 people went to something you weren't interested in? What do you interpret the comment by your friend to mean as I'm not clear - did you read it as sarcastic?

Did you think the "group chat soap operas" mentioned by the dads was about that particular group? Did they say anything to suggest that?

Obviously I'm totally lost Grin

PuffPastry84 · 23/11/2025 19:49

PedantsOfDestiny · 23/11/2025 19:48

Sorry, I'm not really sure what you're asking. 12 people went to something you weren't interested in? What do you interpret the comment by your friend to mean as I'm not clear - did you read it as sarcastic?

Did you think the "group chat soap operas" mentioned by the dads was about that particular group? Did they say anything to suggest that?

Obviously I'm totally lost Grin

Edited

It's just when she said "nice that you included everyone" when it was so obvious they hadn't, it was clearly meant to be sarcastic which is what is worrying me. Especially considering she said it after I put my comment

OP posts:
CanIclonemyselfplease · 23/11/2025 19:50

I don't really see what the drama is? You were invited and didn't go? If it comes up just be easy breezy and subject change I think?

edwinbear · 23/11/2025 19:50

Honestly, I think that was a bit passive aggressive of your friend. Best to just ignore those sorts of posts/photos. I never bothered with the mums nights out, some I was invited to, some I wasn’t, but best to keep messaging to lost uniforms otherwise they can get more gossipy than necessary.

edwinbear · 23/11/2025 19:51

I think your comment was perfectly fine btw OP.

northernballer · 23/11/2025 19:52

Just forget about it and don't mention it or you'll end up contributing to the drama you say you want to avoid.

PedantsOfDestiny · 23/11/2025 19:52

My reaction would be to forget about it although if someone's written a sarcastic comment, maybe get a bit of popcorn in in case there is actual drama!

I imagine this hasn't even registered with most people so I don't get what you're nervous about.

BendingSpoons · 23/11/2025 19:52

They suggested something
You weren't interested
They presumably went ahead with those that had shown interest
You posted an innocent comment
Your friend posted a pointed comment. Had they shown interest initially?

Surely this isn't a big issue for you? You are not responsible for what your friend said. Just carry on as normal tomorrow.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 23/11/2025 19:52

Why are you worried? You weren’t part of the drama.

Abracadabra1 · 23/11/2025 19:53

Kindly... you are overthinking this. You didn't go, you haven't made any unnecessary comments on the group chat, not sure what there is to dread tomorrow at school really. Your friends comment could be taken as being passive aggressive but you didn't make that comment. School what's apps can be a complete pain....the less you engage the better!

Shedmistress · 23/11/2025 19:53

Just put the WhatsApp down and forget about it.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 23/11/2025 19:53

You didn’t want to go, and they probably feel a bit embarrassed they’ve been caught excluding people.

Unless you want to be friends with these people I’d just ignore it all. Who cares what those Dads think? They are probably just making conversation with one another because they’ve exhausted the football chat.

lljkk · 23/11/2025 19:54

Move on. You can't stop them making drama but you can choose to keep out of it.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 23/11/2025 19:55

Your friend started the drama, not you!

Has any more been said on the group chat?

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 23/11/2025 19:56

Massively overthinking OP

Smile tomorrow and if anyone says anything about it to you just say something innocuous like Sounds like it was a great night!
Move on.

No one will give a shit.

ExtraOnions · 23/11/2025 19:56

This reply has been deleted

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Whichone1 · 23/11/2025 19:58

So you were all invited? They mentioned it on the playground and you were invited but not interested? Was all the mums invited on the playground and nothing said on the what’s app group?

PuffPastry84 · 23/11/2025 20:00

Whichone1 · 23/11/2025 19:58

So you were all invited? They mentioned it on the playground and you were invited but not interested? Was all the mums invited on the playground and nothing said on the what’s app group?

See my friend expressed interest in going and the group chat went silent on it with no details of the plans being shared in the group chat, which makes me think they created a separate group chat to organise the tapas and drinks. I do see my friend's point of view but wish she hadn't said anything

OP posts:
SixSeven · 23/11/2025 20:01

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 23/11/2025 19:55

Your friend started the drama, not you!

Has any more been said on the group chat?

Exactly, it’s nothing to do with you @PuffPastry84, get back in your own lane and don’t worry about it.

Givemeachaitealatte · 23/11/2025 20:02

I say this on all these threads but I am so pleased I don't ever have time to participate in anything school mum related. This sounds exhausting.

OP you did nothing wrong. No one did - some people went out, one person was upset they weren't invited and made a stupid passive aggressive comment. People will get over it.

MinorEarthMajorClouds · 23/11/2025 20:05

It’s horrible not being invited to things that the rest of the group are doing and someone is telling the OP to grow up. Why are you being so unpleasant?
Not interested doesn’t necessarily mean she actually told them she wasn’t interested, maybe it just means she didn’t take much notice of it.
I think they won’t be thinking about it nearly as much as you are and it’ll be fine OP.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 23/11/2025 20:05

Stop worrying.
I am a teacher and I have seen PLENTY of WhatsApp Mum drama ....and this is not it.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 23/11/2025 20:06

But you weren’t the one who made the sarcastic comment, so why are you worried?

RightOnTheEdge · 23/11/2025 20:07

Omg, why are you worried and dreading going to school drop off?

You didn't say anything wrong. If you are that scared of them because they are bullies or will leave you out or something then they are not worth knowing.

You are all grown up women and mothers. Get a grip.

holjam · 23/11/2025 20:10

I don’t see where the drama is tbh?

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