AIBU??? WhatsApp chat drama!

[PuffPastry84]

Right, apologies in advance because this is going to be long but I need some perspective because my head is spinning and I genuinely can't work out whether I'm being unreasonable and overly sensitive. With school tomorrow I can't even begin to describe how nervous I feel.

DS is in year 3 and I get on fine with most of the mums. In our playground we have the four mums who are always front and centre of organising things. The leader of them is a nice enough lady but she does have a mean streak in her which occasionally comes out.

Last week there was a Mum's Night Out planned for the Friday night. It was meant to be tapas followed by drinks. It had been mentioned in the playground that week but I wasn't really interested. Nothing came of it on the class group chat, so I assumed it was just an idea in passing. However it happened but it seems only a select chosen few went. It's not my business and adults can choose who to socialise with, but if anything it would have been the four main mums but it turned out to be a group of 12. So, it was hardly an intimate gathering amongst friends. The morning after the night out I went into the group chat to double-check something, and I saw a load of messages saying "hope everyone got home okay last night!" and loads of photos of those who went. I put a comment saying "looks like a great night!" but then my friend (whose DS is in the same class as mine) says "nice that you included everyone". That message got ignored but apparently at football practice this morning two of the dads were laughing about "group chat soap operas" which means that the situation has escalated somewhat.

Has anyone else had a situation like this? I'm dreading the playground tomorrow because obviously my friend has made that comment which has started all of this.

I’m more worried about my DS not being invited to the main events. It would break my heart if in 4 years time he wasn’t invited to the year 6 leavers do because of a WhatsApp comment in 2025

Children raising children 🙄

If I was to take sides - and I don't mean you should actively do anything - I'd be Team Mate. She pulled them up on their shitty behaviour. Good for her.

In fact, I'd be spurred on to bring that tapas eating Quad Squad down. Take them downtown. Thinking they run the show. 👊

I didn’t ask you to comment on my parenting

Exactly this … I’m the organiser (and a few others) in our school mums what’s app group and what happened was this…. We always organised outings/ kids stuff and the same people came and made an effort and we ended up making a separate group naturally , and not on the main school what’s app group and became proper friends. Probably what’s happening here as we got bored of inviting people who gave nothing back or organised anything, but liked watching what was going on behind a screen and asking for gossip 😂

Please don’t do that, you’ll end up falling out with your genuine friend and if they’ve got anything about them the power mums won’t like it either as it shows you’re not to be trusted if you willingly throw someone under the bus, for all you know they don’t even care about the comment on the chat!
you need to get some perspective on this, your reaction to throw someone else under the bus to try and salvage a tenuously thought out bit of awkwardness on the playground shows you’re panicking.
the best thing you can do is breezily and cheerfully tell them it looks like it was a fab night, how was the food and you’ll come to the next one.
you need to look at why on earth this has triggered you so much.
im Not trying to be harsh or dismissive, it’s just that you’re going to have a really hard time navigating life, especially school life, if this is how you escalate things in your mind x

Why do you care though OP?

This is a small part of life. I can't think of anything worse than being in a school mums WhatsApp.

Just leave the chat and let them get on with it.

Wow so now you want to throw your friend under the bus . To please the magical 4🤣 the kids are at school not you . Sounds ridiculous

Exactly. Thought we had left all this type of drama behind when we left school ourselves but obviously not in some cases

Leavers events are usually whole class events. The pushy mums will dominate organising it based on experience, but they will have to invite everyone. Especially as they usually get the school involved in raising funds for the event and in sending out letters to parents (as not everyone is in these chat groups).

Seriously OP, you are totally over thinking this. At worst, your friend might get a few 'looks'. Your comment was absolutely fine, you posted before your friend and you're not responsible for her.

Read this book and all your playground worries will disappear

https://amzn.eu/d/74m8KuQ

I did and it sounds odd but the mums I was trying to avoid drama with ended up trying to become best buddies with me because I was just DGAF with them. Weird social psychology and I still kept them at arms length but it made the playground more enjoyable as I said hi then stood with the people I wanted to hang out with.

Don't be spiteful about your friend in order to crawl up the arses of a few fairly awful sounding women.

If they say anything to you you say yes, I saw her comment, it sounds like she was upset about being left out.

If they then make excuses you say maybe you should tell her that.

You are waaaay overthinking this.

Break your heart… really?! Of course he’ll be invited to the leavers party.
so what if he isn’t.. grow up and stop bowing down to these idiots who think they’re the queen Bs

So you're going to throw your friend under the bus and risk a friendship over some perceived drama you don't even know exists?

Lovely.

Interesting that you prioritise the opinions of people you don't even like over the right of a supposed mate to say what she wants to.

Fair play to your friend, she’s got some balls and doesn’t give one- I’d think about spending more time around her if I were you.

But that’s on her, not you. You can’t control what other people have said in a group chat.

I'd think about spending more time with Op if I were HER!

Shitty mate with no backbone.

Huh?

Oh……the curse of social media 🙄

Oh god please don’t do this! It’s such classic appeasement behaviour- you’re basically saying ‘oh I’m not like that one thats stood up for herself! You can treat me like crap and ignore me if you like, I am completely fine with that! Please please like me and occasionally talk to me though!!’

Of course it’s fine, and normal, for groups of friends to form and go on nights on that don’t include the entire class. It isn’t normal to then post pictures of those nights out on the whole class group though! I would say and do nothing. Roll your eyes and rise above it!

It was bad form of them and rude to post pictures of a night out and "hope you got home ok messages" on a WhatsApp group that not everyone was invited on. Can only assume that was a mistake and they have a second group just for their friendship group (totally fine) and meant to post it on there.

I wouldn't have responded at all or sent the passive aggressive message about not including everyone, would've just 🤷 and thought how embarrassing for them!

Please stop overthinking this - you’ve got it out of all proportion!
Go into the playground with your head held high and your big girl pants on!
Smile at everyone and say good morning.

Also think it's weird how much you're overthinking this. Honestly don't worry about it just be friendly and smiley with everyone if you're worried about falling out with the queen bees. Though honestly they don't sound that nice.