To be put off bloke over gravy-gate?

[KierBeTripping]

Been seeing someone a while. Today we went out for a Sunday roast - the waitress brought across a jug of gravy and a dish of vegetables for the table as another waitress approached with our meals. He then reaches for the gravy jug and pours the entire lot on his dinner. I was a bit gobsmacked! I said “didn’t fancy sharing then??” And he acted all shocked before laughing and saying “sorry, I didn’t think” how on earth would you not consider that the other person might want some gravy too??

So I said I’ll have to ask for more gravy so he said “don’t do that, it’s embarrassing” so I said “I’m not eating a dry roast! I want gravy” so he gets a spoon and says he’ll put some of “his” on my plate.

This isn’t the first time he’s showed greed/selfishness over food - a few weeks ago we went to an event and he said he was going off to find the toilets - he then returns with a tray of cheesy chips saying how lovely they were! I said “if I’d known you were getting food I’d have come with you and got myself something” - who does that??

Gravy-Gate has really annoyed me though and tbh it’s put me off! It’s not “the gravy” it’s the principle and thoughtlessness of it.

AIBU

If the seagulls get them first, he’ll not be having them at all.

You mean they are not even capable of eating a family Christmas dinner because they don't realize that they must share the 15lb turkey?

Poor lambs 😂

Bin him off. My fanny would have been drier than the roast dinner he was happy for me to eat.

If he asks why then please please tell him.

The gravy thing is terrible but I must admit that I too eat all my popcorn before the film starts!!

Well as you say these poor men have no friends and have never learned basic table manners from their families as children - so not teachable by this age given they are so socially stunted.

Mumsnet algorithms must have decided this thread is about a toddler because look at the ads I'm getting!

I like a bit of roast dinner with my gravy, so this would definitely have annoyed me 😂

You absolutely did the right thing.

For the record, you would not be in the wrong for pointing out how horrifically selfish he is continually being and this being the reason he isn’t for you. Maybe he will be a big enough man to self reflect who knows.

Well done. Before you know it you'll be paying for half the food and eating 10% of it. He's a selfish git and you can do better.

Even if he did share his gravy, do you really want a guy who can only afford one bag of chips?

I wish you hadn’t texted him, I would have had my five minutes of turning the table on him. Gone along, and done exactly what he did to you by excusing myself, saying you need the loo. I know I’m petty but I would have returned with the loveliest portion of fish and chips!
😂 His face would have been a picture.

I love this suggestion.

OP text him and again tell him you’ve had a change of heart, Whitby is back on!

Absolutely - just wondering whether he would have been hungry himself. Obviously it was highly inconsiderate of him either way.

Yeah, that is obscenely unattractive. You should be doing what you can to make sure each other is enjoying themselves on dates - that's the whole point of dating!

Also, if you can't afford two portions of chips, what are you doing just buying yourself one lot on a date? Seems like a poor excuse to cover extreme selfishness and stinginess. At least share them with your date for fuck's sake.

Glad you ended it OP. I hope you find a man who will give you his last chip and a whole jug of gravy.

Good.
The fact that he didn't want you to ask shows that he knows his behaviour is not OK. The staff wouldn't have bothered about it. They'd probably assume you both like lots of it, if they thought anything at all.

Rubbish. Men have parents don't they? Colleagues? Friends? No one should behave like OP's date in any circumstance, be it Sunday lunch with their mum or a business dinner with their boss. Though I suspect OP's date would magically learn some manners in that last scenario...

Oh, Shuggles has addressed this point.

Nope men over 30 don't have friends or family or colleagues they like.

Nope. None. NONE OF THEM!

🤣🤣🤣

That is a very unattractive quality isn’t it , I’d have been annoyed about the gravy too!

Well, he wouldn't be getting my last Rolo!

But if he asked for, er, feedback on why he was getting ditched, I'd have to tell him where he was going wrong. I don't like to think of him ending up lonely - with nothing to smile about but a full plate of cheesy chips smothered in gravy all to himself every night.

he only had enough money for one! I mean this says it all…. Find a man who can afford to buy you a portion of cheesy chips.. it’s not diamonds!!

a Recent ex of mine, bought me over one singular mince pie in a Tupperware box, to try. It was like apple crumble topped or something. I got instant ick… so you couldn’t even afford a box for me… so you took one out of your box, for me… I mean seriously? I added that to my rapidly growing mental list of icks…

Which would be another red flag and reason not to date them!

As I said, colleagues are not friends.

Who on earth has a "business dinner" with their boss?

Omg same.. again, same recent ex as previously posted in this thread), we were in our alloted cinema seats waiting for film to start… two people walk up and one asks for our seat numbers. I tell them and they said ok, but hung around looking at other seats nearby.. ex says ‘I think we’re going to have to move for them’ even though he knew beforehand that we were in our prebooked seats when we were looking if them! I was like, what? These are our seats? Why would we move for them?! These aren’t their seats, they’re ours!!! Instant ick!

Then my teenager was diagnosed with epilepsy and I just had to get rid.. I couldn’t imagine in a million years him being in anyway helpful in such a traumatic and stressful situation!

But with colleagues you should also be polite and not hog all the gravy. The need for politeness doesn't only kick in with friends or women you want to date.

As for a business dinner, depends on the job and the company but it's quite common. Especially this time of year with Christmas meals for staff plus management.

Frankly there are some things that you shouldn't need to 'practice', basic consideration for others being one of them.

@Thatsalineallright But with colleagues you should also be polite and not hog all the gravy.

I don't eat dinner with my colleagues.

The need for politeness doesn't only kick in with friends or women you want to date.

That's not what the issue is.

It's not that he was rude to a woman because he was not dating her.

He was dating this woman, but he was rude anyway.

You have misunderstood the problem.