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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Issue at nursery pick-up - would you have expected an apology?

222 replies

CluelessInLondon · 21/11/2025 12:33

Just wondering if I am BU/overreacting for thinking this other parent was a bit rude...

Went to pick up DD from nursery yesterday at about 5.45pm. There's a buggy shed at nursery where you can lock away pushchairs and we leave ours in there pretty much every morning, no issues since she started there in July. Yesterday I arrived to find that someone else had taken my pushchair - there was another the same brand and colour there, but very obviously not the same one (it had loads of stuff in the bottom and a fleecy seat liner which mine doesn't have).

I told the room lead who happened to be outside doing a handover at the time, and a few minutes later while we were still figuring out what to do (I had no alternative for getting DD home other than to walk the 20 minutes back home, get the car and come back) the phone rang and it was the parent who had taken my pushchair, belatedly realising he'd got the wrong one. He was asked to bring it back, and he arrived within about 10 minutes. I was waiting inside (parents aren't usually allowed in), and the room lead told him that I was ready to leave so could he leave the pushchair outside for me.

When I got outside, there was no sign of the pushchair or anybody who looked like they had it - it turned out he had locked it back in the shed and dashed off. Now, if I had made this mistake and accidentally nicked someone else's pushchair from nursery, I would have been absolutely mortified by the error and for inconveniencing another parent when it's freezing cold, dark and they need to get their child home - I would have made a point of waiting for them to come out so I could say sorry.

AIBU to think that it was a bit rude to just bung the pushchair back in the shed (especially when he'd been asked to leave it outside for me) and run off without saying sorry for the inconvenience? And if you'd made his mistake, would you have waited to apologise?

I didn't lose any sleep over it last night, but just curious if I'm expecting too much!

OP posts:
Fallulah · 21/11/2025 12:34

He probably apologised on the phone when he rang and just wanted to get going/not have to deal with the embarrassment of taking the wrong one.

333FionaG · 21/11/2025 12:35

I would imagine he was too embarrassed to face you

FrangipaniBlue · 21/11/2025 12:36

Mountain. Molehill.

toomuchfaff · 21/11/2025 12:39

YABU

You have no idea the reasoning for them running off quick as a flash, could have been parked on double yellows, could have been avoiding confrontation, could have apologised already, could have nipped out of work with a shitty boss hanging on the coat tails.

Yes you would have done the apology and waited. but dont expect others to act as you would because they are not you and they have different personalities and situation to you.

Were they rude? possibly but luke you said you didnt lose any sleep so nothing lost.

Cherry8809 · 21/11/2025 12:39

You were waiting inside, presumably out of sight.

He was told to leave it outside.

No, I wouldn’t expect him to be trying to find you to say sorry, especially when you’ve pointed out that parents aren’t usually allowed inside the building.

Roverbarks · 21/11/2025 12:40

It’s really not that big a deal. My mum brought back the wrong pushchair once - when I pointed it out she simply took it back to the buggy shed. No need to make it into an issue.

It was a genuine mistake on his part, and he brought it back. If he wanted to wait until the next morning then that would be rude but it was brought back soon as he realised.

xILikeJamx · 21/11/2025 12:40

There was no need for him to go in - according to your post, parents aren't usually allowed inside he was specifically asked to leave it outside.

He took the wrong one, realised it once he got home, phoned the nursery and came straight back with it. Not sure what you actually expect here.

pixiedust79 · 21/11/2025 12:41

You asked him to leave it outside and he did, just maybe not in the place you were expecting.
But ultimately he made a genuine mistake and returned it as soon as he could, I don’t think there is any need for drawn out apologies.

The alternative for getting your DD home was to use his pushchair and then arrange to swap so none of it really needed to have been a big drama.

MidnightPatrol · 21/11/2025 12:43

I couldn’t muster the energy to care about it really, but yes he probably should have left it as asked / apologised.

Funny it was a dad though - I have had my pram taken by accident three times and the culprit has been a dad every time…!

Original poster
CluelessInLondon · 21/11/2025 12:47

Cherry8809 · 21/11/2025 12:39

You were waiting inside, presumably out of sight.

He was told to leave it outside.

No, I wouldn’t expect him to be trying to find you to say sorry, especially when you’ve pointed out that parents aren’t usually allowed inside the building.

He was told that I was ready to leave and coming out straight away - I was just inside the door, so I was out within a minute. And yes, he was told to leave it outside - instead he locked it away! That was probably the most annoying thing about it, I was holding my daughter so I couldn't open the shed and get the pushchair without someone coming to help me.

I find it so interesting that multiple people think embarrassment is a reason not to apologise for a mistake. I've been embarrassed by mistakes I've made before, it wouldn't occur to me that it's a good excuse not to say sorry.

And to be absolutely clear for the benefit of those who think I'm making a massive deal out of it, I only posted this out of curiosity because I was interested in people's views - I'm not going to launch some kind of campaign about it (although I do hope he checks more carefully next time he does nursery pick-up...).

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 21/11/2025 12:48

He left it securely in the shed instead of where it could have been stolen. If you wanted a face to face meeting, I would have been outside.

Original poster
CluelessInLondon · 21/11/2025 12:49

pixiedust79 · 21/11/2025 12:41

You asked him to leave it outside and he did, just maybe not in the place you were expecting.
But ultimately he made a genuine mistake and returned it as soon as he could, I don’t think there is any need for drawn out apologies.

The alternative for getting your DD home was to use his pushchair and then arrange to swap so none of it really needed to have been a big drama.

Edited

I did actually ask the nursery whether I should just take his and sort it out the next day but they didn't seem to like that idea - presumably because he might have come back after I'd left wanting to swap them and I wouldn't be there anymore. And his child might not be in nursery today to swap them over (the pushchairs, not the children 😅).

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 21/11/2025 12:51

I'd have stuck around and apologised personally, but I can understand he might've been too embarrassed to do so/thought you were busy/had already apologised on the phone/didn't see anyone when he got there so just locked it up and went on his way.

I certainly wouldn't be arsed enough about it to write a multi paragraph post on the internet though tbh, I'd have forgotten about it by the time I had a brew in my hand. It's just one of those little inconveniences we all go through in life isn't it? And no real harm was done? Put it out of your mind!

NerrSnerr · 21/11/2025 12:52

Imagine if he left it outside and it got stolen or hit by a car? I think I’d have locked it away too, safest place if no one was there.

Original poster
CluelessInLondon · 21/11/2025 12:52

JudgeBread · 21/11/2025 12:51

I'd have stuck around and apologised personally, but I can understand he might've been too embarrassed to do so/thought you were busy/had already apologised on the phone/didn't see anyone when he got there so just locked it up and went on his way.

I certainly wouldn't be arsed enough about it to write a multi paragraph post on the internet though tbh, I'd have forgotten about it by the time I had a brew in my hand. It's just one of those little inconveniences we all go through in life isn't it? And no real harm was done? Put it out of your mind!

Imagine if nobody ever wondered about the little things, this forum literally wouldn't exist...

OP posts:
PiccadillyPurple · 21/11/2025 12:54

He's put it in a secure place where it won't be stolen/rained on/blown over by the wind. Very sensible in my opinion.

He's made a mistake, but he put it right quickly - I don't think he needs to be 'mortified' over it. All I'd expect was a brief apology the next time you happen to see him.

Bellaboo01 · 21/11/2025 12:56

What is the issue here? He put back the pushchair that he accidently took in the same place.

Why didnt you just take his pushchair and both brought the pushchairs back in the morning. No big deal!

Original poster
CluelessInLondon · 21/11/2025 12:57

NerrSnerr · 21/11/2025 12:52

Imagine if he left it outside and it got stolen or hit by a car? I think I’d have locked it away too, safest place if no one was there.

Obviously it was safe for him to leave it outside without it being stolen or hit by a car, otherwise I wouldn't have found it annoying that he didn't do as he was asked. And it was pick-up time, there were plenty of people and members of staff around.

OP posts:
Prelim · 21/11/2025 12:59

I would have done the same thing as he did. Locked the wrong one in the shed (so it was safe) and rushed off as I’d already wasted time taking the wrong one and the other persons time so I’d try and be as quick as possible. I wouldn’t have been trying to enter the nursery and drag it out any longer.

CatPawprints · 21/11/2025 13:01

Maybe he didn't understand that you would literally be out that minute so stored it in a safe place. It was obviously more effort on his part to lock it away so I guess he was trying to do the most helpful thing. I don't think he was deliberately being rude or avoiding an apology.

Bellaboo01 · 21/11/2025 13:01

CluelessInLondon · 21/11/2025 12:47

He was told that I was ready to leave and coming out straight away - I was just inside the door, so I was out within a minute. And yes, he was told to leave it outside - instead he locked it away! That was probably the most annoying thing about it, I was holding my daughter so I couldn't open the shed and get the pushchair without someone coming to help me.

I find it so interesting that multiple people think embarrassment is a reason not to apologise for a mistake. I've been embarrassed by mistakes I've made before, it wouldn't occur to me that it's a good excuse not to say sorry.

And to be absolutely clear for the benefit of those who think I'm making a massive deal out of it, I only posted this out of curiosity because I was interested in people's views - I'm not going to launch some kind of campaign about it (although I do hope he checks more carefully next time he does nursery pick-up...).

Show quote history

How do you normally open the locked door for the pushchairs?

How old is your daughter? Surely you can hold her and open a locked dorr or put her on the floor and open the locked door?

Winterwonderwhy · 21/11/2025 13:04

What a load of nonsense over nothing. Why are people constantly looking for issues? He made a mistake. This happens almost all the time at our nursery. Just bring it back and it’s done. Absolutely nothing to be ‘mortified’ over.

watchingplanesicantafford · 21/11/2025 13:04

Wow. He accidentally took you chair, realised and brought it straight back, but that isn't good enough for you?

honeylulu · 21/11/2025 13:05

Ideally an apology would have been nice but ...
He'd probably got the child in the car (or the pushchair) clamouring for his/her tea so he's rushing. Coming in to find you and getting caught up in explanations/apologies isn't ideal if child is left outside or tired grumpy child has to be hauled out of a seat and in and out of a building if it can be avoided.

I imagine he locked your pushchair back up because it could have been nicked in the few mins it could have taken for you to be reunited with it. I expect you would have been furious if that had happened.

He may well have been embarrassed too!

It's annoying but at least he quickly resolved his error the same day. When my son was at nursery another kid had the same coat (named). One time another mum put my son's coat on her son by mistake. I realised when I picked up the other coat and it had a different name in. When I told her and asked to swap back she said we didn't need to as they both had a coat. Her sons was much tattier so I insisted but I had to ask 3 times. I imagine that sort of parent shrugging and thinking they could just hang on to your pushchair as there was another one to use.

TooTiredMum2 · 21/11/2025 13:05

I think this could easily been a misunderstanding…he probably was busy/in a rush/had to dash back, apologised on the phone and thought it was best to return it to where he took it from, not remembering all instructions (‘she’s waiting inside; leave it outside etc’).