Issue at nursery pick-up - would you have expected an apology?

[CluelessInLondon]

Just wondering if I am BU/overreacting for thinking this other parent was a bit rude...

Went to pick up DD from nursery yesterday at about 5.45pm. There's a buggy shed at nursery where you can lock away pushchairs and we leave ours in there pretty much every morning, no issues since she started there in July. Yesterday I arrived to find that someone else had taken my pushchair - there was another the same brand and colour there, but very obviously not the same one (it had loads of stuff in the bottom and a fleecy seat liner which mine doesn't have).

I told the room lead who happened to be outside doing a handover at the time, and a few minutes later while we were still figuring out what to do (I had no alternative for getting DD home other than to walk the 20 minutes back home, get the car and come back) the phone rang and it was the parent who had taken my pushchair, belatedly realising he'd got the wrong one. He was asked to bring it back, and he arrived within about 10 minutes. I was waiting inside (parents aren't usually allowed in), and the room lead told him that I was ready to leave so could he leave the pushchair outside for me.

When I got outside, there was no sign of the pushchair or anybody who looked like they had it - it turned out he had locked it back in the shed and dashed off. Now, if I had made this mistake and accidentally nicked someone else's pushchair from nursery, I would have been absolutely mortified by the error and for inconveniencing another parent when it's freezing cold, dark and they need to get their child home - I would have made a point of waiting for them to come out so I could say sorry.

AIBU to think that it was a bit rude to just bung the pushchair back in the shed (especially when he'd been asked to leave it outside for me) and run off without saying sorry for the inconvenience? And if you'd made his mistake, would you have waited to apologise?

I didn't lose any sleep over it last night, but just curious if I'm expecting too much!

I'd offer her my first born child and take out a two page spread in the Times with just "I am so sorry" on it. Then I'd self flagellate and wear a hair shirt for 6 months.

Only then would I consider myself worthy of op's forgiveness and would prostrate myself in front of op in a gesture of supplication and pray to God that she might show mercy 🧐

Op, don't hold your breath for a big bottle of gin on Monday morning. Most people would not consider that necessary at all.

No you wouldn't. Let's be honest.

Which proves that you weren't as quick as you thought at coming outside. I wouldn't have waited- it's cold! And I would have no idea how long, if at all, you were going to be.

Agree 👏🏻

If he had made the mistake of taking the wrong buggy but then also made the mistake of leaving it where he was asked to leave it (outside, rather than in the shed), sounds like to me he was having a rather shit day.

treat everyone with kindness, you never know what they are dealing with. There could be a million reasons why this parent made these ‘mistakes’ that day.

This is such a non-issue, to still be harping on about it 24 hours later, honestly!
He bought the buggy back and presumably apologised on the phone. Why do you think you’re owed a special face to face apology.
Also logically he brought back your buggy and went into the buggy store to get his own one out and simply swapped them over.

Get over it and move on with your life.

I love how angry some of you are at me being a bit miffed at someone, it's hilarious. 😂 I don't think it's me who needs to not be upset and to get over anything!

I'm also glad that some people can see why I thought it was a bit off - as I've said multiple times but will repeat again for those at the back, I'm not massively upset about it but was interested in whether I am way out of the norm in being someone who would feel really bad about inconveniencing another parent who needed to get home and would therefore have waited a moment to say sorry, knowing they were there and had been waiting for me.

To give you all peace of mind on this Friday evening, I'm not having a breakdown about it and I won't be writing a strongly worded letter to nursery threatening to withdraw my child because another parent didn't pay enough attention when they were collecting their pushchair. This forum is full of people dwelling on trivial stuff that some people wouldn't even think twice about, it's what gives so many people so much to talk about.

And for those who were asking how I normally manage getting my pushchair out at pickup time if I can't open the shed while I'm holding the baby - I ring the bell to let them know I've arrived, then I go and get my pushchair, then I go and wait by the door with it because it always takes a few minutes for them to actually bring her out.

Pleased to report that pushchair was present and correct at pickup this evening. 😂

This reads to me as thank you to those who agree with me i am in the right why do people post if they only want to have certain replies, what is the point?

He was probably in a rush, got kids to get home too. I don't tend to expect apologies for mistakes. Nice if you get one, and yes I'd have got it to you and said sorry, but he didn't do it on purpose, zero malicious intent so I wouldn't care in the slightest. Things happen, he got is back really quickly 🤷‍♀️

He brought it back asap. Probably apologised over the phone. Forget it now.

Not the point of the thread and granted I’ve only experienced one nursery so maybe it’s a common set-up but the biggest red flag for me here is that parents aren’t usually allowed inside nursery? At ours we drop them at the room door and they’re taken inside, but on pick up parents are encouraged to just walk in. They’re often in the garden at pick up time but if the weather is awful or we’re a bit early they’re inside. It reassures me that they’ve clearly got nothing to hide as I or any other parent could just walk in at any time (we have a code to get into the premises, so randoms can’t walk in).

That’s typical on here … another poster who only wants to hear from those that agree with them, why ask for opinions in the first place and argue with those who opinion differs from your own.

What’s he supposed to do .. wait until you decide to come out? He’d ring, driven back down there, then had time to open the shed, get his own buggy, put yours away, put his in the car, get back in the car and drive off … and you still wasn’t out! How long do you want to take to get out of there and how long is he meant to wait??? Maybe he thought you had gone home and would get it the next day 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Ops who don't like replies to their posts always seem to descend into giggles too. What is that about 🤔? Happens on so many threads.

Op: I think this thing
Everyone else: I disagree
Op: 😂😂 what you all getting so upset about disagreeing with me? You're all so funny lol lol.

You started the thread, Chuckles!

Anyway, I am glad your pram was there today op and that you have moved on.

Wow talk about an overreaction!!

I think you were very lucky to get it back at all, let alone straight away.

I’ve had brand new coat go missing before and a tatty smaller version left in its place and despite pleas to return it, it never re-appeared. This was in a very affluent area so I assumed the thief was a bog standard cheeky fucker. 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP you have far too much time on your hands… he was just a Nursery Dad who had made a mistake. Get over it and leave it. God forbid you ever make a mistake.

I assume the dad was having a pretty rubbish day, was quite possibly distracted, which is how he made the mistake in the first place and then had to rush back to swap the buggies. He also might have been embarrassed. As others have said he probably apologised on the phone.

So yes a apology would have been nice, but probably just let it go and assume he was having a bad day.

Sweet Jesus sounds like you have no problems

Presumably he went to get his pushchair out of the shed, so just shoved yours in while he was there. A bit lazy, but easier than leaving yours at the door then going to the shed.

this!
but yes I think it's a bit rude too. not massively, but a bit, and I would be apologising if it had been my mistake

Wow. Some people really are very needy. It was a simple mistake, he rectified it and got on with his day. I can't imagine why you would expect him to come looking for you as well.

To think having to open a shed door with a 13 month old is problematic enough to give even a second’s thought to it. To not understand the pressures of parenting (seemingly at all), that someone can make a harmless mistake with kids’ equipment. That the evident care and self awareness of the other parent to bring back said equipment as soon as they realised is insufficient to some absurd standard. The standard of someone who has always had (and probably wishes to have) only 1 child ever to think about at any time. I struggle to believe this is even a real event tbh.. who would think it merits a posting (I write while actually writing about it, but I am bemused)

#buggygate

Well “Clueless” it seems you have your answer then and you are ‘way out of the norm’, but that’s ok. We are all works in progress :)