Issue at nursery pick-up - would you have expected an apology?

[CluelessInLondon]

Just wondering if I am BU/overreacting for thinking this other parent was a bit rude...

Went to pick up DD from nursery yesterday at about 5.45pm. There's a buggy shed at nursery where you can lock away pushchairs and we leave ours in there pretty much every morning, no issues since she started there in July. Yesterday I arrived to find that someone else had taken my pushchair - there was another the same brand and colour there, but very obviously not the same one (it had loads of stuff in the bottom and a fleecy seat liner which mine doesn't have).

I told the room lead who happened to be outside doing a handover at the time, and a few minutes later while we were still figuring out what to do (I had no alternative for getting DD home other than to walk the 20 minutes back home, get the car and come back) the phone rang and it was the parent who had taken my pushchair, belatedly realising he'd got the wrong one. He was asked to bring it back, and he arrived within about 10 minutes. I was waiting inside (parents aren't usually allowed in), and the room lead told him that I was ready to leave so could he leave the pushchair outside for me.

When I got outside, there was no sign of the pushchair or anybody who looked like they had it - it turned out he had locked it back in the shed and dashed off. Now, if I had made this mistake and accidentally nicked someone else's pushchair from nursery, I would have been absolutely mortified by the error and for inconveniencing another parent when it's freezing cold, dark and they need to get their child home - I would have made a point of waiting for them to come out so I could say sorry.

AIBU to think that it was a bit rude to just bung the pushchair back in the shed (especially when he'd been asked to leave it outside for me) and run off without saying sorry for the inconvenience? And if you'd made his mistake, would you have waited to apologise?

I didn't lose any sleep over it last night, but just curious if I'm expecting too much!

Christ. I believe there are bigger things to worry about in the world.

To give you all peace of mind on this Friday evening, I'm not having a breakdown about it and I won't be writing a strongly worded letter to nursery threatening to withdraw my child because another parent didn't pay enough attention when they were collecting their pushchair.

This absolutely mad level of hyperbole has only come from you

Who, despite acting like you just wanted opinions, has ignored the multiple people saying why it might have happened, and why it's not a big deal, has continued to act super dramatic over nothing

Hmmm? ..nah, not really a problem, is it?

I think you’re being precious

I bet he’d be bewildered knowing this annoyed someone so badly they had to rant about it on the internet

Look on the bright side: your pushchair went missing, but then you got it back in 10 mins yay

Not a big deal. A nothing really. End of.

I wouldn't make it an issue. He brought it back and more than likely felt very embarrassed. You got the pushchair back, so move on.

I would be irritated too. I assume he apologised to the staff, but you were the one who was inconvenienced, it would have been polite for him to seek you out - not to fall on his knees and rend his garments whilst begging your forgiveness, but to say “sorry for delaying your evening”. I saw nowhere in your posts that you were losing sleep or spiraling over this incident, simply an ask of “wouldn’t you find this annoying?” I would bet that others would be mildly miffed, as you were, if this actually happened to them.

A lot of excuses that he had to get back to his child, he might have been parked on yellow lines, he could have had urgent plans that were delayed - all of these are possible, but where is the consideration that you were inconvenienced, your timely plans could have been unnecessarily delayed by this mistake? I find it difficult to believe that all of these “get over it” posters would happily deal with this situation without a single twinge of “oh, this is irritating”.

How rude! I would have waited with it and apologised profusely. Makes you wonder if yours is the better one and he thought hr might get away with it!

If he put the buggy away and left without saying anything how did you know when he'd brought the pushchair back? Is it possible that he did wait by the shed for a few minutes you didn't appear so he left? He might have thought you had already gone home. He wouldn't necessarily know you were waiting inside if parents aren't usually allowed to.
It would be nice if he says sorry next time he sees you but I just couldn't get worked up about it. Does it really matter? It all got sorted quickly.

YABU he probably felt stupid n got a bollocking off his other half for coming home with the wrong buggy You got your buggy back intact I presume no harm done why look for a drama when it was a probably a genuine mistake

He might not even know what OP looks like

Maybe he didn’t want to leave it unattended on the street for someone else to steal…and inevitably get side-eyed and raised eyebrows when he said that he’d done that

Didn't it occur to anyone to suggest you took that buggy and swapped back tomorrow?

Christ, you could have just told nursery what had happened, taken the wrong one and returned the next day to swap them back. Talk about making a fuss over nothing

Of course I it wasn't a bit rude! It was very rude.. dark cold hanging about worrying about it.. own child to get home... the whole situation could have been sorted with a "oh so sorry.. I was in a rush" or whatever but at least acknowledge the inconvenience caused... maybe going to cause him problems by having to comeback? no your not over reacting... 💕🌞

It was dark multiple kids going home he made a mistake get over it ffs; no one was injured, nothing got broken so move on & stop whining ffs

My thought too

Sounds to me like a classic dad mistake. Be thankful I recall a relative telling me a story of my dad sent to pick one of my siblings up from nursery. Baby was around 8 months old. Was laid in a cot with her cousin who hasn't been picked up by Aunt yet. Dad picked up wrong baby put her in pram and left despite obvious hair colour etc, barley looked at her (well he claimed the facial features looked familiar (he did have 7 kids by then and was a working man) but facial features were that of his own sisters baby 😂. It was only when Aunt arrived to get hers they realised. Dad had took baby straight home and laid her down. Aunt had come rushing in with the right one shouting "Please God tell me it was that daft sod that took mine" thankfully was back in 80's when a major alert wouldn't have happened until they were sure baby had been kidnapped. But this honestly sounds typical dad and if the nursery said leave it outside he probably assumed they meant the shed not wanting to.leave it unsecure. Then left to save embarrassment. I'd laugh it off and get over it honestly.

This…

He probably couldn’t see anyone waiting so just locked it up and left

I agree with the OP that embarrassment is a not a good enough reason to apologise.

Maybe he did make genuine mistake but it inconvenienced you and your child. .

As for this Buggy Shed. Just how secure is it Can anyone just walk in?

I know this suggestion may get flack.
But what about having some kind of identification on your buggy and some kind of lock/clamp personal you could tether to the floor or wall.

Child Buggies can be very expensive and are very coverable by thieves.

Wouldn't have given it another thought. It was an honest mistake.. he returned v quickly and rectified it.. you weren't there to apologise to.. he locked it away and left 🤷‍♀️ ..job done. Do you not have enough to think about that you are ruminating on your perceived missing apology and are even driven to start a thread about it on a parenting forum??

As long as you could get into the shed and retrieve your pushchair, no drama.

Youve got issues. This has obviously taken up a lot of your head space on a Friday evening so much you want to argue with everybody who disagrees.
It was a Friday evening and the man made a mistake, probably didn't even listen to the instructions and stuck it back where it normally goes. Not wanting to socialise and go home to relax. Look at the bigger picture.