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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Issue at nursery pick-up - would you have expected an apology?

222 replies

CluelessInLondon · 21/11/2025 12:33

Just wondering if I am BU/overreacting for thinking this other parent was a bit rude...

Went to pick up DD from nursery yesterday at about 5.45pm. There's a buggy shed at nursery where you can lock away pushchairs and we leave ours in there pretty much every morning, no issues since she started there in July. Yesterday I arrived to find that someone else had taken my pushchair - there was another the same brand and colour there, but very obviously not the same one (it had loads of stuff in the bottom and a fleecy seat liner which mine doesn't have).

I told the room lead who happened to be outside doing a handover at the time, and a few minutes later while we were still figuring out what to do (I had no alternative for getting DD home other than to walk the 20 minutes back home, get the car and come back) the phone rang and it was the parent who had taken my pushchair, belatedly realising he'd got the wrong one. He was asked to bring it back, and he arrived within about 10 minutes. I was waiting inside (parents aren't usually allowed in), and the room lead told him that I was ready to leave so could he leave the pushchair outside for me.

When I got outside, there was no sign of the pushchair or anybody who looked like they had it - it turned out he had locked it back in the shed and dashed off. Now, if I had made this mistake and accidentally nicked someone else's pushchair from nursery, I would have been absolutely mortified by the error and for inconveniencing another parent when it's freezing cold, dark and they need to get their child home - I would have made a point of waiting for them to come out so I could say sorry.

AIBU to think that it was a bit rude to just bung the pushchair back in the shed (especially when he'd been asked to leave it outside for me) and run off without saying sorry for the inconvenience? And if you'd made his mistake, would you have waited to apologise?

I didn't lose any sleep over it last night, but just curious if I'm expecting too much!

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · 21/11/2025 15:32

Agree with you OP bad manners on his part

MooDee12 · 21/11/2025 15:32

CluelessInLondon · 21/11/2025 12:33

Just wondering if I am BU/overreacting for thinking this other parent was a bit rude...

Went to pick up DD from nursery yesterday at about 5.45pm. There's a buggy shed at nursery where you can lock away pushchairs and we leave ours in there pretty much every morning, no issues since she started there in July. Yesterday I arrived to find that someone else had taken my pushchair - there was another the same brand and colour there, but very obviously not the same one (it had loads of stuff in the bottom and a fleecy seat liner which mine doesn't have).

I told the room lead who happened to be outside doing a handover at the time, and a few minutes later while we were still figuring out what to do (I had no alternative for getting DD home other than to walk the 20 minutes back home, get the car and come back) the phone rang and it was the parent who had taken my pushchair, belatedly realising he'd got the wrong one. He was asked to bring it back, and he arrived within about 10 minutes. I was waiting inside (parents aren't usually allowed in), and the room lead told him that I was ready to leave so could he leave the pushchair outside for me.

When I got outside, there was no sign of the pushchair or anybody who looked like they had it - it turned out he had locked it back in the shed and dashed off. Now, if I had made this mistake and accidentally nicked someone else's pushchair from nursery, I would have been absolutely mortified by the error and for inconveniencing another parent when it's freezing cold, dark and they need to get their child home - I would have made a point of waiting for them to come out so I could say sorry.

AIBU to think that it was a bit rude to just bung the pushchair back in the shed (especially when he'd been asked to leave it outside for me) and run off without saying sorry for the inconvenience? And if you'd made his mistake, would you have waited to apologise?

I didn't lose any sleep over it last night, but just curious if I'm expecting too much!

This is one of those things where my mum would tell me not everyone does the same as you do, make peace with that. Fine to be a bit annoyed but he’s not done anything massively wrong and it wasn’t malicious.

As you have pointed out, it was dark and cold, and likely needed to get his child get back home quickly. He won’t have wanted to hang around for an unknown amount of time just to have an awkward apology convo :)

surreygirly · 21/11/2025 15:34

This really is not a big drama
He took it by mistake
He rang and said so
He brought it back
What do u want him to do get on his knees and beg for forgiveness
I would have just been pleased he did bring it back

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/11/2025 15:35

FrangipaniBlue · 21/11/2025 12:36

Mountain. Molehill.

This. It hardly amounts to an 'issue'.

FenceBooksCycle · 21/11/2025 15:36

His obligation was to bring it back, not to hang around while you got your shit together to go out to him. If you wanted to see him face to face you could have gone out but yabu to exoect him to dance attendance on your decision about when to go out. He made a mistake, he fixed it. Glad you got your buggy back.

SpidersAreShitheads · 21/11/2025 15:36

Tbh, I can’t quite get past needing someone to help you unlock the shed. If you really can’t put it a code and unlock it one-handed, just put your child down - it’ll be literally a matter of seconds. At 13 months I don’t see the issue. A baby no, but at 13 months, no problem. It does kind of suggest you’re prone to making a big fuss out of things…

Anyway, having to faff around switching prams is undoubtedly a nuisance though and the last thing you want to deal with at the end of a day. Glad you got your pram back promptly and the other parent didn’t dally around returning it. That’s the main thing.

helpplzz · 21/11/2025 15:38

He was probably embarrassed, and being a man didn’t think to stick around and say sorry to you ? I personally would’ve stayed to meet you and apologise but I’m sure it wasn’t out of a bad place.
To be honest though he brought it back, left it safe so I don’t think you need to stew on it anymore

Ambridgefan · 21/11/2025 15:38

He was probably in a rush, he might have had the baby with him and assumed you had gone home another way so locked it away for safe keeping. I wouldn't overthink it . Mistakes happen and no one was hurt

ContinuewithGoogle · 21/11/2025 15:39

I am a woman, and it wouldn't even occur to me to stick around and start a conversation?

SockBanana · 21/11/2025 15:41

It easily could have been a misunderstanding. Was it definitely the Dad that called AND the Dad that returned the buggy? Something could have been lost in translation if it was a different person?

He might have been flustered on the phone and not comprehended you were still there waiting - could have thought you'd been driving and just left the buggy until tomorrow.

Might not have wanted to waste anymore of anyone's time so just rushed off ASAP and forgot he was supposed to leave it out.

My point is there could be any number of scenarios where he wasn't being deliberately rude or difficult. Bloody annoying though.

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 21/11/2025 15:45

I expect they had apologised earlier when they called to highlight their mistake

BadgernTheGarden · 21/11/2025 15:45

Presumably he had to get the right pushchair out of the shed so put yours in, he had no idea how long you would be to just hang around and wait, why didn't you follow him out immediately?

Manthide · 21/11/2025 15:47

I was looking after dgs for a few days in the hottest week of the summer and had to pick him up from nursery. I didn't know his pushchair well and it was a packed poorly lit shed. I took the wrong one but realised once I had manoeuvred it outside so obviously put it back (in a different place) and somehow managed to grab dgs's one. I don't think it was an issue - the way the pushchairs were 'arranged' inside you had to move others to reach yours.
I would imagine the poor man had a impatient child waiting for him and decided not to leave it outside in case it was nicked. I'm very glad I realised my mistake immediately as it was a couple of miles walk to dd2's and in that heat!!

Manthide · 21/11/2025 15:51

SpidersAreShitheads · 21/11/2025 15:36

Tbh, I can’t quite get past needing someone to help you unlock the shed. If you really can’t put it a code and unlock it one-handed, just put your child down - it’ll be literally a matter of seconds. At 13 months I don’t see the issue. A baby no, but at 13 months, no problem. It does kind of suggest you’re prone to making a big fuss out of things…

Anyway, having to faff around switching prams is undoubtedly a nuisance though and the last thing you want to deal with at the end of a day. Glad you got your pram back promptly and the other parent didn’t dally around returning it. That’s the main thing.

At my dgs's nursery you get the pushchair out of the shed before you ring for your dc. I don't think I'd have managed keeping an eye on dgs whilst trying to extricate his pushchair. He is walking but likes to run off!!

OriginalUsername2 · 21/11/2025 15:53

We’re all in a mad rush at the end of the day.

Sartre · 21/11/2025 15:54

I’d have done the same personally but perhaps he didn’t know you were inside and was in a rush. I’d give the benefit of the doubt, he made a silly mistake and rectified as soon as he realised. Not the end of the world.

MaidOfSteel · 21/11/2025 15:55

Me big man. Me no say sorry to mere woman.

He's pathetic.

crazydoglover · 21/11/2025 15:56

Why do the parents not label pushchairs? A . Tag with either parents surname. Or child’s name.

it’s a mistake. It was brought back. Yes you were slightly annoyed , inconvenient to you. But no harm is there.

NerrSnerr · 21/11/2025 15:57

MaidOfSteel · 21/11/2025 15:55

Me big man. Me no say sorry to mere woman.

He's pathetic.

Or he did as he was asked. They asked him to leave it outside, which he did.

WanderlustMom · 21/11/2025 15:57

Confused God, it really isn’t a big deal. He was told to leave it outside, he could have just jumped it outside the front door but instead he safely locked it away in the shed for you

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/11/2025 15:59

NerrSnerr · 21/11/2025 15:57

Or he did as he was asked. They asked him to leave it outside, which he did.

Show quote history

Exactly. No more than that.

MsCactus · 21/11/2025 16:01

You don't know the circumstances. Dashing back may have made him late to pick up another child from somewhere, or late for something work related. I don't think it's particularly rude no, and I'd probably do similar. He also likely had no idea where you were

MaplePumpkin · 21/11/2025 16:05

I think if I’d been waiting outside and seen him, I’d expect him to acknowledge me/ the situation, and say sorry for the mistake.
However if I was inside, I wouldn’t expect him to seek me out and look for me to apologise.

TreesinthePark · 21/11/2025 16:11

I honestly don't think anything has happened here that justifies you being upset. It was a genuine mistake that has been quickly corrected.

I am an easy going person and appreciate that mindset is not as natural for everyone, but surely you make life harder if you choose to be upset about trivial incidents? And I do believe that its a choice.

SheilaFentiman · 21/11/2025 16:11

I was waiting inside (parents aren't usually allowed in), and the room lead told him that I was ready to leave so could he leave the pushchair outside for me.

If these were the actual words, then I think "leave it outside" and "leave it in the outside place" (i.e. in the buggy shed) are pretty interchangeable. Especially as you/room lead weren't physically outside to hand it over.

Also - if he was part way home with child in buggy when he called, he may have wheeled your buggy into shed to swap child into his buggy. Then he doesn't have enough hands to bring two buggies out of shed.