Issue at nursery pick-up - would you have expected an apology?

[CluelessInLondon]

Just wondering if I am BU/overreacting for thinking this other parent was a bit rude...

Went to pick up DD from nursery yesterday at about 5.45pm. There's a buggy shed at nursery where you can lock away pushchairs and we leave ours in there pretty much every morning, no issues since she started there in July. Yesterday I arrived to find that someone else had taken my pushchair - there was another the same brand and colour there, but very obviously not the same one (it had loads of stuff in the bottom and a fleecy seat liner which mine doesn't have).

I told the room lead who happened to be outside doing a handover at the time, and a few minutes later while we were still figuring out what to do (I had no alternative for getting DD home other than to walk the 20 minutes back home, get the car and come back) the phone rang and it was the parent who had taken my pushchair, belatedly realising he'd got the wrong one. He was asked to bring it back, and he arrived within about 10 minutes. I was waiting inside (parents aren't usually allowed in), and the room lead told him that I was ready to leave so could he leave the pushchair outside for me.

When I got outside, there was no sign of the pushchair or anybody who looked like they had it - it turned out he had locked it back in the shed and dashed off. Now, if I had made this mistake and accidentally nicked someone else's pushchair from nursery, I would have been absolutely mortified by the error and for inconveniencing another parent when it's freezing cold, dark and they need to get their child home - I would have made a point of waiting for them to come out so I could say sorry.

AIBU to think that it was a bit rude to just bung the pushchair back in the shed (especially when he'd been asked to leave it outside for me) and run off without saying sorry for the inconvenience? And if you'd made his mistake, would you have waited to apologise?

I didn't lose any sleep over it last night, but just curious if I'm expecting too much!

I think he put it in the buggy shed to make sure it was safe.

If I was asked to leave a pushchair outside my nursery I would probably put it in the buggy shed (ours isn’t locked though) rather than right outside where it could conceivably get rained on or taken by somebody else.

I would normally say sorry if I was him but if I had to rush off because my child was waiting or my car needed to be moved I’m not sure I would have.

@CluelessInLondon let it go!

I would guess he went to shed and got his own and returned yours. Why you expect a different outcome is strange. These things happen. If you don't want them to, don't leave it there in the first place. The nursery has no responsibility to look after your personal belongings.

Folded up in the dark? Probably a similar colour/dimension? Hardly trying to pinch it as he was the one who rang nursery

So not ok for him to inconvenience you in the freezing cold, but ok for him to wait around in the freezing cold waiting for you? Okaaaayyyy 😳

I would have done exactly the same as the person who took the pram.

I would take "outside" to mean securely in the shed.
I would not have taken "the other parent is ready to leave" to mean that they were literally standing by the door ready to walk out and I should wait for them as it would be under a minute.

Actually I would have more likely take "ready to leave" with a 13 month old is as involving putting on coats and shoes and hats and gloves and collecting bags, and saying goodbye to the nursery staff. All of which can easily take a few minutes.

I assume he did apologise on the phone?

I would have apologised but not been absolutely mortified

He might have had somewhere to be or had left his children in the car to quickly drop the pram off and couldn't hang around. I would take it as a mistake. He brought it back quickly at least.

To be fair I'm guessing he had to go into the shed to get his child's pushchair so has literally just swapped them over and left rather than dragging his one out whilst still hanging on to yours to leave elsewhere on the premises

I wonder if his wife came home and said "For God's sake Trevor that's not our pram!"

It's an easy mistake to make if you're in a bit of a hurry/not paying attention and it could happen to anyone. He came back within 10 minutes. Probably had already apologised on the phone and thought he was doing the right thing putting it back where you expected it to be.
I can't see the need to get upset about it or need an apology. I'd be a bit irritated yes, but I wouldn't let it show (hopefully) and I wouldn't care if I got an apology. I'd be relieved it had come back so soon / someone hadn't actually stolen it.

You were waiting inside but he probably didn’t think he could come in - you said it yourself that was not allowed.

He obviously had to retrieve his own buggy from the shed, so makes sense to pop yours back there.

He probably apologised on the phone and could have been running late with having to return.

YA totally BU

I imagine he had his kid in the car, had rushed back to swap the pushchair and probably had dinner burning in the oven. I wouldn't really need or expect a personal apology unless I happened to see him. I bet his wife gave him an earful too😂

I think returning and locking it was fine.

Maybe he wasn’t sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

Exactly … if he’d left it outside and it got nicked OP be moaning about that also.

On the one hand yes it was rude to not say sorry.

On the other hand he did bring it straight back. I would probably picture the scenario that he got home, his wife had to tell him he had the wrong one, she called him a muppet and told him to return it and get the correct one pronto. He was probably mortified and didn't want to face you. I would probably give the benefit of the doubt.

Being kinder - the OP said that the buggy was the same colour and brand, and - especially if mum did drop off and dad did pick up - dad may not have realised that the seat liner and stuff in bottom wasn’t there until he got home and saw it in the light.

I think i would have done what he did, presumably the shed is outside, and presumably that's where his actual pushchair was, and where he'd taken yours from, so he just put it back. He was probably annoyed at himself, keen to get back home and would have said sorry on the phone to the staff. It was literally 10 mins, it's not like you were waiting an hour or two. Yes it's OK for you to be annoyed but it was a mistake very quickly fixed and he probably didn't have time to go into nursery (might not even have known you were there) and hunted about for you to specifically apologise, I think you're asking a bit much. If I'd have bumped into you (if I were him) I'd definitely have apologised but not sure I'd have gone into the nursery to specifically find you, just to say sorry - it's just a bit of a waste of everyone's time really for something so small!

He was embarrassed, and/or one of those people (predominantly men) who never apologises for anything.

God unclench OP YABU

He probably dropped it back and ran because his kid was in the car waiting for him and he had already apologised to the nursery.

Hopefully he will bring you a big bottle of gin and some chocolate on Monday , that's what I would do , I would have waited if I had a car and apologise , maybe he thought it was a male parent and was going to thump him

Bloody hell! Get over it!

What an odd thing to say! Why would any parent thump another in front of nursery staff?