AIBU to not want to go to my parents’ for Christmas now they’ve invited a neighbour?

[HotChocAndChaos]

My mum and dad moved into their house less than a year ago, and they’ve become very friendly very quickly with one of their neighbours. A few of us find her a bit weird, she’s very intense, pops round a lot, and tends to insert herself into situations unexpectedly. She can come across as boundary-less, dominates conversations, and generally gives off a bit of a strange vibe.

We were planning to spend Christmas Day at my parents’ with my partner, our child, and my grandad, but they’ve now told us the neighbour will be joining. The reality is we don’t feel comfortable spending the day with someone we barely know, especially around our young child. It would be different if she were a long-standing friend, but they’ve only known her a short time.

I'm aware it's their house and they can invite who they like I just think consulting us beforehand would've been nice. Anyway, I wouldn't ask them to uninvite her but I think we are going to say we are not going anymore.

AIBU to feel like we don’t want to go now, or is that unreasonable?

My kids refer fondly to the ‘orphans’ I hosted every Christmas when they were little! Some people have nowhere to go- how miserable to not want to share a little bit of fun with someone who will probably really appreciate it.
Will it really ruin your day if you find her a bit annoying?

It depends on why they do those behaviours. Someone who is ND and starting to spend more and more time alone, can stop masking, stop checking themselves etc. Someone who is NT can forget social niceties, when lonely, both can be gently reeled in and can calm down after getting to know someone. My eldest has ADHD, I'm autistic and we are all loud/chatty, do we do remind each other of manners/boundaries/giving others a turn.
I'd go, as said to suss her out.

What a lovely example for your daughter. I hope she grows up as kind and generous as your mum.

The poor woman may be annoying but she's probably lonely, just go along and be cheerful in the Christmas spirit. Maybe one day you'll be in the same position (alone at Christmas) and someone else will be kind to you.