AIBU to not want to go to my parents’ for Christmas now they’ve invited a neighbour?

[HotChocAndChaos]

My mum and dad moved into their house less than a year ago, and they’ve become very friendly very quickly with one of their neighbours. A few of us find her a bit weird, she’s very intense, pops round a lot, and tends to insert herself into situations unexpectedly. She can come across as boundary-less, dominates conversations, and generally gives off a bit of a strange vibe.

We were planning to spend Christmas Day at my parents’ with my partner, our child, and my grandad, but they’ve now told us the neighbour will be joining. The reality is we don’t feel comfortable spending the day with someone we barely know, especially around our young child. It would be different if she were a long-standing friend, but they’ve only known her a short time.

I'm aware it's their house and they can invite who they like I just think consulting us beforehand would've been nice. Anyway, I wouldn't ask them to uninvite her but I think we are going to say we are not going anymore.

AIBU to feel like we don’t want to go now, or is that unreasonable?

The spirit of Christmas.

YANBU.

Tell her asap though so she can plan accordingly.

YABU to decline because she's a new friend! But YANBU to decline if you really don't like her and it would ruin your day. Do your parents know how you feel about her? Would it actually ruin the day to spend it with her?

If you’re local I’d just go for dinner and come home.

it sounds like an episode of Friday night dinner SHALOM JACKIE

Urgh doesn't sound like a relaxing day. Just stay home.
And have your Christmas your way.

I’d feel the same way. I’d probably just suck it up and be resentful of it so declining the invitation and doing what you want is a much better idea.

I don't blame you, OP, especially as the neighbour is dominating and weird. I'd keep a bit of an eye on your parents actually. Call me suspicious but what else will this neighbour try inserting herself into? Their finances?

yanbu to not go as long as you’ve give them a heads up now so they can plan food etc knowing you all won’t be there. I get it, you can’t relax the same with people you don’t really know (even less so people you wouldn’t ever choose to spend time with).

YANBU. If a host changes the whole dynamic of an event they can't blame guests for changing their plans.

Have a lovely day at home with no randoms present.

But this is exactly what Christmas is for. And exactly the sort of kindness, patience and hospitality you should be modelling for your child, regardless of religious affiliation or none. (My parents both came to England from other continents and each had strong morals around sharing one’s good fortune. Every Christmas they invited what would now be termed ‘some random’ to spend the day with us. Now, as an adult, I don’t feel I’m doing Christmas properly unless I find a way of sharing.

I can’t believe you’re ready to leave your parents in the lurch - rather than showing up and ensuring the neighbour doesn’t dominate Christmas for them. (Also, you can properly observe whether this person is potentially trying to exploit your parents at all …)

I’m sorry to be impolite, but, basically - grow up!

Yabu agree with poster above

🤣🤣 you made me choke on my cereal! Love Jim!

A neighbour on her own being extended a thoughtful invitation?

Suck it up.

Stay at home. Christmas Day at home is brilliant. If they really wanted you there they’d have asked you first if you minded them inviting her.

YABU. It's the season of goodwill. Open your heart and house. Growing up we had a series of randoms some Christmases, including elderly neighbours, waifs and strays, one year my mum's first husband who lived abroad (!). More the merrier.

How lovely of your parents to invite someone who would probably otherwise be alone at a time when everyone else is banging on about family and togetherness.

If you don't want to go, don't go. But if they uninvite her? will you feel bad?

My thoughts exactly 😂

I don’t know. A weird person would go undetected in my family, and then there are the stories you get to tell your DC when they’re older about that Christmas with granny’s neighbour. Could be interesting!

YABU. It's one person and you can still enjoy your day however you want to. Would be really mean to your parents to refuse to go because of stranger danger

To be fair, they are being kind to invite her rather than knowingly leave her on her own. Dont be a scourge.

Very precious of you. What @TheApocalypticiansApprentice said.

My first thought was this too. Is it such a big deal? It would be very difficult for your parents to UNinvite her.

Agree. When I was young we had an uncle who was a bit of a bore, an auntie who got drunk and emotional and yes a weird neighbour for Christmas. It's not all about you.

YANBU - last year my sister in laws parents were invited for Xmas as it’s the only way she and my step-brother would spend Xmas with my parents. It was really awkward as we don’t have an existing relationship and rather than being a relaxed and enjoyable Xmas, we ended up having to entertain and make polite conversation as they were formal guests because we didn’t have a pre-existing relationship having only met them a handful of times.

If OP's parents really wanted her there at Christmas? That's a bit extreme.
Maybe they thought they raised their daughter better and it wouldn't occur to them she'd be put out at their new friend joining? 🤦‍♀️