Greedy husband?

[Bunchofcoconuts]

Does your husband expect to eat more than you?
Over the years I have always accepted the fact that my DH expects to have a much larger portion of food than me. He has always said that because he is much taller and of a larger build that he needs more. This is fine most of the time and if we are eating at home I just cater for his large appetite. It becomes more of a problem when we are away and eating out and I feel that this is almost leading to a food disorder as I tend to pack secret cereal bars in my luggage as I worry about being left hungry.
For example whilst away last week we met friends for wine and pizza. As the pizza's in this particular establishment are large we agreed to share one per couple. I was quite surprised as I would say my DH had at least two thirds of the pizza we shared, whilst the other couple split theirs down the middle.
This has made me question the fact that he always takes the lions share of food and I guess I just want to ask if this is the case in other people's relationships?

Well obviously a man would eat more than a woman. Just look up the charts for suggested daily calories etc. There's no way I could have eaten the same amount XDH used to, I would have burst. But you shouldn't be going without. Just order more food if you're sharing. Or just stop sharing.

All men in my birth family, married family, extended family, etc eat three times more than me.....Not sure what it is but it is...so yes, seeing your point there...and some of it is greed of course

Order more food/ sides. Neither of you need to go hungry.

No. You can healthily spread caloric needs over a week into meals or days of high intake balanced with meals or days of low intake.

Her husband isn’t greedy for eating what he needs even though what is needs is more than what op, a woman, needs.

I picked YABU because you need to order enough food for BOTH of you.

Him eating more isn't the issue. You both know he needs more, so order enough that both of you can feel full.

DH eats more than me, when I didn't eat less when we first lived together, I gained a lot of weight. However it's never at my expense I have as much as I want he has what he wants. We wouldn't share pizza because whilst I'm content with half he eats pretty much a whole one. The problem isn't what your husband eats it's that it seems to affect how much you get!

My husband would always ensure I eat first, have enough food, ensure I have enough and ask if I want more of something we maybe sharing before taking the last of it....respect, manners and courtesy. Maybe discuss with your husband. Good luck.

Same. No one should be left hungry.

My husband eats more than me and we often share when we go out. But he will eat no more than half then wait to be offered any more. It’s just basic manners isn’t it?

This is what we do, too. He makes sure I get my pick of the dishes I love and only when he’s checked that I am done does he ‘hoover’ up the rest. He will go without if necessary and top up with toast/sandwich or a load of biscuits. Has never in our 33 years together ever been an ounce overweight but eats enough to feed an average family of 4 at every main meal!!

I don't get this at all. Yes, men on average require more food than women because they have more muscle mass. I don't see how this leaves you hungry though, especially if you are going out to eat.

Wait to be offered more? Presumably he has a wallet and can just order more? I don't get this either, so he'd just eat and wait hopefully to see if you'd give him a morsel more?

Just ask for your own XL pizza next time and further times you go out make it clear that you are ordering separately and what you intend to eat.

My husband is a proper greedy sod, he'd admit it himself too. He eats a lot more than me (and I'm not a delicate waif with a tiny appetite either).

If we get takeaway for example, he'll eat his own and some of mine, probably whatever DD doesn't manage of hers too. He 'expects this' in as much as it's just what usually happens, but he doesn't 'expect it' in the sense that if I said I actually did want to eat all mine, or that I'd save it for lunch tomorrow, he'd just say 'fair enough'. If we're eating out he'll usually end up with a bit of whatever I've ordered too, unless the portions were stingy in which case I'm not sharing.

I wouldn't share a pizza with him in a restaurant I don't think, we'd want different toppings anyway. Anyone who knew him well wouldn't suggest it either, as they know how big his appetite is. If we did find ourselves in the position of sharing though, he'd be scrupulous about making sure we got the same amount each, but would probably internally just waiting for me to say 'go on you finish it, I can't manage that bit'.

He's not overweight even, the swine.

I used To eat the same as my OH. I was obese. I need to eat less than half of what he eats

Me and dh are roughly the same height. The norm would be that we would take half and discuss if one wanted more or less. You should have ordered two and told him you need at least half each.

Does his mother say he needs more to eat than you do? Where did this idea come from? I mean yes, assuming you are equally active, he needs to eat more than you but not to the point of leaving you hungry. He could have had extra garlic bread with the pizza, for example.

We split food down the middle, unless one of us isn’t that hungry then they eat less.

I’m 5’5 and DP is 6’2 for reference. We’re both slim/average build.

Are you students in your 20s on a budget? Why can't you order normal portions and not look each other in the mouth (i.e. calculate how much each other eats?) Being greedy is not very attractive, I agree, but being mean is even worse, begrudging food? A simple pizza, not caviar and lobsters, not that it should matter.

My DH is almost a foot taller than me and definitely needs more food, our spilt on a pizza would be about the same. You already know each others appetites so don't agree to sharing something that won't be enough for both of you. I would have got a portion of chips to go with the pizza if I knew it wasn't enough.
Don't get into comparing what you and your DH eat to others. We all have different eating habits. Maybe the woman you were with skipped lunch and the man had a big lunch. Maybe the woman does have a larger appetite because she is really active.

are you seriously trying to find a woman to blame for this mans behaviour??

I'd expect half. It's not about being bigger, it's about what energy you need. If OP's DH is in a sedentary occupation he doesn't need twice as much food as her. And anyway, why is she allowing him to dictate how much he eats? Why isn't she serving up what she wants. Used to regularly remind my late DH that just because I have taken x amount from shared dish does not mean I do not want more, so do not assume the rest is yours! It worked. And I would stop him eating what was my share that I wanted if he forgot i.e stop him impinging on my half. OP can do same. And when eating out, order a pudding or sides, surely?

It sounds like you are the one policing what he eats. My late DH, and most blokes I know, could easily polish off a whole pizza. In fact I know a lot of women who would too. And I don't know a single soul that would think it was greedy, extravagant or outrageous behaviour in either case. Why not just order according to your individual appetites? Nearly all men eat considerably more than women. Why on earth are you having to hide snack bars? That sounds bonkers.

Exactly, everyone is ignoring the obvious solution - just order two damn pizzas.

That has literally been said about 250 times on this thread. Nobody is ignoring it as a solution.