Greedy husband?

[Bunchofcoconuts]

Does your husband expect to eat more than you?
Over the years I have always accepted the fact that my DH expects to have a much larger portion of food than me. He has always said that because he is much taller and of a larger build that he needs more. This is fine most of the time and if we are eating at home I just cater for his large appetite. It becomes more of a problem when we are away and eating out and I feel that this is almost leading to a food disorder as I tend to pack secret cereal bars in my luggage as I worry about being left hungry.
For example whilst away last week we met friends for wine and pizza. As the pizza's in this particular establishment are large we agreed to share one per couple. I was quite surprised as I would say my DH had at least two thirds of the pizza we shared, whilst the other couple split theirs down the middle.
This has made me question the fact that he always takes the lions share of food and I guess I just want to ask if this is the case in other people's relationships?

Assert your own feelings more!
Is he greedy or is he actually selfish??? I’d say the latter.

You packing cereal bars is extreme - you’re in charge of your food and you can eat what you like. Don’t let him bully you! X

I guess a lot of people don’t like to match bread with more bread, but would rather have something contrasting on the side.

I guess a lot of people don’t like to match bread with more bread, but would rather have something contrasting on the side.

I did say this was what worked for us given our respective needs - to each their own! He generally eats much more than me - when we first met and I mirrored his eating I put on quite a lot of weight, which it has taken me ages to lose. I like the expression 'penis portions' 😂

I would agree with you on 'treats' though - like if we were splitting a bar of chocolate, i'd get very annoyed if he ate 2/3 of it!

If you both had a pizza each would he eat his and then expect some of yours as well or would there be no issues with you eating all of yours?

I would expect a taller and larger man to eat more than me overall but in the situation you outline I would expect him to default to half the pizza and order extra if he was still hungry. Not for me to default to eating less and being hungry and having to find more.

I would agree with you on 'treats' though - like if we were splitting a bar of chocolate, i'd get very annoyed if he ate 2/3 of it!

My rough rule (it's not really a rule, just thinking about how we do it) is that protein and treats are 50/50. I mean obviously if we're having a chili or stew DH will have a bigger portion but if it's like steak or chicken breast or something then it's half and half. He may be larger but I need the iron more.

I just think sometimes we eat more, sometimes we eat less. Very few people unless on a diet have a strict daily allowance that is correlated to their partners. If my husband and I shared a pizza I’d expect half available to me. That’s the default. My choice if I eat all my half or leave some and offer it to him. The going in is not we share a pizza and two thirds of it is his as he is bigger than me.

but he’d also be equally appalled by the idea. I’ve never once seen him eat my share in over 30 years, and even when plenty left of something he always says, do you mind if I finish that. I’ve never genuinely seen a man behave differently. And I’ve never ever seen a woman default to i onky eat a third as I’m a woman.

I just think sometimes we eat more, sometimes we eat less. Very few people unless on a diet have a strict daily allowance that is correlated to their partners.

That's very true also - our appetites will totally vary depending on weather, activity levels, hormones or just because, which is why I always find posters insisting that men need x more than women, precisely, at every single meal, a bit daft. Maybe I'm starving that day and he isn't?

My husband definitely eats more than me and at home he would have a larger portion compared to mine. In your restaurant example it would be understood that we would half it. Possibly I would get full and give him the extra slice but he wouldn't expect it. Tbh if we were sharing one pizza I would imagine DH would order a side dish also.

You’re enabling him to demand penis portions. Start dishing up a portion each, then he can get up and get seconds. Making him look greedy/needing more, rather than you.
Pizza, personally one each, but in your example, ask the kitchen to pre cut and split into 2 plates. You’ll probably find your husband starts suggesting ordering more to start with.

It’s worse than this. She’s carrying snacks so she isn’t left hungry by her greedy husband.

I don't disagree - my partner doesn't assume he'll get 2/3, he would default to 1/2, but I would encourage him to eat more after I had had my fill. And, that would vary - all this talk is making me very hungry for a Pizza Express Padana (the goats cheese/caramelized onions, yum)!

No not normal at all.
Your husband is a greedy selfish lpig and you tolerate it.
You order more and you pay for it.
You don't indulge a greedy pig.

Goodness you really like the term greedy pig.

i don’t think he’s greedy for eating 2/3 of rhe pizza. I can easily eat 2/3 of a large pizza if I chose. Many can. He’s greedy for not sharing, for eating hers. I can’t work out why she tolerates it though, and goes without, to the extent she knows they won’t order enough food, she will go hungry and has to pack snack bars.

if it’s financial and they don’t have much money they need to make better choices. And I suspect this is about money at its core.

My DH eats more than me. When we eat out we both order our own dishes and he will eat his and whatever I leave… if I don’t leave anything then that’s fine.. I’d hate him stealing my grub!

I find this whole situation kind of odd. When your husband is correct if he's bigger and taller than you than he needs more calories to maintain his weight. Now if he's overweight then obviously he should be eating less, as all of us who are overweight should be eating less. If he's stopping you from eating as much as you want then he is wrong for that.

With the pizza example, I'm in the United States so our large pizzas might be bigger than yours, but I would expect to eat two slices of pizza if we had breadsticks or something in addition or three slices if there were no breadsticks. So half a pizza would be way too much for me. And I am overweight. You said you hide cereal bars because you're afraid of being left hungry but have you actually been left hungry? And if so why? Why is whoever is doing the cooking not just making more food so that everyone is satisfied?

I don't get this. If your husband has a big appetite, order more food. How hard can it be?

He is greedy if
-he eats more than he actually needs/wants
-he eats more than his share when food is in short-supply
-he eats more than he wants, just to deprive you of what you want/need

If you didn't get enough to eat at the pizza place, it suggests that the two of you did not order enough.

If you are hiding food and eating it secretly, how can he know that he is eating more than his share? Is it important to the two of you that you only eat a little?
If he is restricting your food deliberately and to be unkind, this is not the relationship for you!

My husband eats more than me but he doesn’t expect it. If we were eating out and had a pizza between us, he would cut it in half.

I find this irritating and have taken to serving myself first. 🤷‍♀️

If money is tight it could be very hard indeed. As this is clearly an ongoing reoccurrence then I suspect this is they are short of money, and that’s why they all but argue over food and she’s smuggling cereal bars. As if no money issues, not one of us wouldn’t just order two pizzas or some garlic bread or something to go with it, and make sure we have enough food.

what’s weird to me though is she was surprised the other couple halved it. She’s somehow come to beleive that you order not enough food, let your husband eat as much as he wishes and you get a little bit and not enough. She clearly wanted more pizza and was watching what rhe other couple did. And was surprised. Where as it’s the most normal thing ever.

It’s her situaruin that’s weird.

I’m smaller than my husband by quite a way, but if we were out and I said Christ I’m proper starving he’d probably whinge I should have ordered more but would absolutely give me some of his if I wanted it, so not only would he not eat my share, he’d give me his if I wanted it, and the man’s no saint or husband if the year, and I’d do the same back. But the situation never has arisen, as we order enough food for our appetites.

He IS a greedy pig.
She has to bring snacks with her because he will eat her food.
Not normal at all.
A greedy pig eats more than their share and doesn't care who goes without.
I love my food and have a big appetite.
I always order enough, because I'm going to want to be satisfied.
If there wasn't enough to be shared, I would go without, like a normal person.

However why she would tolerate this is beyond me.

OP, help yourself and refuse to share food with him again.

It’s a metabolic fact that the average man needs more calories than the average woman. If you want to match your husband’s eating, go ahead, you’ll be buying weight loss jabs in a year.

My husband always tries to serve me the same portion size as him and I honestly have to put food back because I am half his size. If I ate like he did, I’d be one of the 1,000lb sisters.

So what that means ever single meal she has to eat less and she can’t ever eat the same as him at a single meal??