Greedy husband?

[Bunchofcoconuts]

Does your husband expect to eat more than you?
Over the years I have always accepted the fact that my DH expects to have a much larger portion of food than me. He has always said that because he is much taller and of a larger build that he needs more. This is fine most of the time and if we are eating at home I just cater for his large appetite. It becomes more of a problem when we are away and eating out and I feel that this is almost leading to a food disorder as I tend to pack secret cereal bars in my luggage as I worry about being left hungry.
For example whilst away last week we met friends for wine and pizza. As the pizza's in this particular establishment are large we agreed to share one per couple. I was quite surprised as I would say my DH had at least two thirds of the pizza we shared, whilst the other couple split theirs down the middle.
This has made me question the fact that he always takes the lions share of food and I guess I just want to ask if this is the case in other people's relationships?

My dp needs to eat more than me, but that means he orders extra, not that he helps himself to my share!

If we were sharing a pizza, he would eat half, and then I might offer him a slice from my half, but he would never dream of taking my food without an offer.

Is he overweight? If so then yes he’s being greedy and you need to address this. If not then your current setup is clearly not working as he obviously needs more food and so do you if you’re being left hungry! Two pizzas would be the alternative.

My husband needs more food than me so in this scenario he would have eaten his half and then waited to be offered what was left of mine- probably one or two slices- but he wouldn’t have touched it without me saying it was okay if we’d agreed to share. He’d have probably ordered a portion of chips too as half a pizza wouldn’t fill him up. The issue is your husband is completely disregarding you because you’d agreed to split and he took the majority. Did you not say hey that’s my half when he took more than his fair share?

If you’re constantly giving him more and eating extra food you’ve packed with you though he may not even be aware you’re hungry if you aren’t communicating it.

If my DH and I ever share food, I make sure to split it the second it comes out otherwise I get so stressed that I won't get enough food as my DH eats so quickly.

My tall skinny OH can definitely out eat me. Could easily eat a whole pizza to himself, but I couldn't. He is a bottomless pit.

Surely the problem here is that he doesn't seem to care to ask if you are hungry. And just assumes you are happy with the smaller portion which won't always be the case!
You should both expect that he will have a bigger appetite but he should be checking with you once his half of the food is gone and offering to share the remainder with you as necessary.

However, if you have never mentioned it to him, he may not be aware that you are often still hungry. So use your words if you haven't already done so.

Yes my partner eats a lot more than me as he is much taller. I make sure to make more food for him than I’d cook for myself, so I get about a third and he gets about two thirds. No way would I share a pizza with him (or probably any meal) as I’m not eating just one third of a pizza for dinner.

Sounds like the issue is not that he’s eating too much or you’re not allowed to eat enough, it’s that there just isn’t enough food provided. (Although my partner wouldn’t just scoff everything and leave me without. Neither of us would want the other to go hungry)

Yes, DH eats more than me. But he doesn’t “expect” to eat more than me.

Your DH is being selfish if he’s taking what he wants to ensure he’s had enough without caring whether you’ve had enough. But day to day, why don’t you (plural) just cook enough for both of you? And order your own meals in a restaurant? If he wants more than half a pizza, order 2.

The cereal bars are worrying why are you not eating what you want ?

DH and my sons all eat more than me, as they are almost a foot taller . However, if we are sharing it's divided into equal parts, and then I donate from my share if I want to.
But although half a pizza for a greedy bloke is not enough, it doesn't mean you should be going without or getting less than you want. If he needs more than half, then he just has to order more. For example, if we're in an Indian restaurant, they'll order naan as well as rice, and I probably won't eat any of that. Dh quite often has a pudding which I won't have. It's not fair that he should assume that you are always willing to give up some of your food for him.

i wouldn't share a pizza

My DH is very tall and almost 5 stone heavier than me, he does a lot of exercises so he definitely needs more food than me. I eat food enough for me and he eats enough food for him, his is just always more than mine. The issue you’ve described is you’ve ordered food that’s not enough for both of you. Half of a pizza is not enough for him so you both can’t agree to to split one pizza cos that’ll mean you eat less, you should have both ordered yours

My DH and DS’s serve themselves at home and I always make more than needed. They usually wait til I’ve served myself as they know I won’t go back for more and they know they can demolish what’s on offer. They also order what they want when we go out to eat (as do I). We always order more pizza and take the leftovers home too (when it is just me and DH).

I don’t give it a second thought.

Do you have children?

My DH eats much more then me, he has a physically demanding job, he needs feeding 3 times a day and I often eat once

We dont share meals when out though - maybe share a few sides - but I often just have a starter and a few sides where as he will have starter, main and sides

If we did share a pizza - it would be a 50/50 share but then Id end up telling him to finish it off

I eat to my appetite , he eats to his, I make sure there is enough for both , I dont go without for him to get enough

Weird, sometimes I eat more than DH.
When we first got together he did comment that I ate a lot for a girl😂I basically told him to fuck off and that was pretty much it.
Unless we are both trying to do a healthy kick, then he might try and encourage me to not eat a whole big bar of cadburys in one sitting, which is more about us trying to help each other than any sort of expectation. However, he knows that I may still eat it and that would be my choice, he might say 'why don't you just have a square each night' which is actually what I should do.
But normal food, no, we wouldn't question each others portion sizes. And also split fairly the food.
If there is a big steak and a small steak then I might dish him up the big steak, but he would then usually cut off a bit and give it to me unless he is absolutely starving.
We both do office jobs though, maybe if he was doing a manual job he might be more hungry than me??
Also, we are both average height, build and weight for our sexes. So there isnt a huge discrepancy between our body needs.
Also do you eat slowly? Mym mum eats in snail pace and always has tiny portions. I eat super fast and hoover food up.

If my husband tried to take more than half the pizza we shared, I'd be using my words.

And my sharp elbows.

But if you know this about him, tell him to order himself some sides in future and make it clear you'll be eating as much as you want/need.

Packing snacks for yourself is ridiculous.

My partner is bigger than me, but I am more active. We have the same amount at mealtimes, but I struggle to keep weight on and he struggles to keep it off. Eat what you need, if he is keeping you hungry then that isn't on.

It doesn't matter what everyone else eats
What matters is that one pizza is not enough for both of you and you don't feel able to say anything.

• that's not enough for us we'll get one each and if there's any left we'll share it or take it home.

If you're not saying anything to him he won't know. But the question is why are you not saying anything?

You both need to have enough food. It's really that simple. If 1 pizza is not sufficient for you both to be full you need to order some sides or another pizza. The answer is not one of you being hungry (either you or him).

half a pizza isn't usually enough without a starter.

but you shouldn't have to be topping up your meals with extras because he eats it all. thats not normal.
its a lack of consideration.

Actually now I've re-read the OP I'm a bit confused.

"It becomes more of a problem when we are away and eating out and I feel that this is almost leading to a food disorder as I tend to pack secret cereal bars in my luggage as I worry about being left hungry."

This heavily implies that when you're away, you often share food rather than ordering your own.

Why would you do that?

I've put YABU because I don't really understand why, if you go out, you are going hungry. Meals out generally aren't 'shared unless tapas type thing. In my experience, folk would generally get a pizza each - if you leave a bit and he takes a bit of yours - fine - but you both eat what you need. Yes of course he probably needs more calories than you if he's bigger - but you are two separate entities who should eat what you need. Is he making you eat less than you need?

@Bunchofcoconuts does he eat more than his fair share of food at home - as in does he deliberately finish off food before you have had some?

This

My husband is 6ft 5. Not overweight at all but eats ridiculous amounts. If we’re sharing we just order appropriately because we both know he’s a gannet.

For my DH and 2 ds we all have equal portions at home but when out they eat more than me.

My 15yo ds can easily eat a whole pizza, as can DH. Last week I ordered a pizza as a snack because it was 3pm and we were in a food hall with friends just me and 11yo ds. 11yo ate over 2/3 of the pizza and looked aggrieved at the 2 slices I got because he thought it was his tea!

Why not just say "we can't share a pizza' and suggest 3 between 4.