Greedy husband?

[Bunchofcoconuts]

Does your husband expect to eat more than you?
Over the years I have always accepted the fact that my DH expects to have a much larger portion of food than me. He has always said that because he is much taller and of a larger build that he needs more. This is fine most of the time and if we are eating at home I just cater for his large appetite. It becomes more of a problem when we are away and eating out and I feel that this is almost leading to a food disorder as I tend to pack secret cereal bars in my luggage as I worry about being left hungry.
For example whilst away last week we met friends for wine and pizza. As the pizza's in this particular establishment are large we agreed to share one per couple. I was quite surprised as I would say my DH had at least two thirds of the pizza we shared, whilst the other couple split theirs down the middle.
This has made me question the fact that he always takes the lions share of food and I guess I just want to ask if this is the case in other people's relationships?

Um she’s packing them for herself as he eats her food.

I am a small woman, my husband is a large man. If we share a pizza he will eat his half then if I offer him more because I don’t want all of it (which usually happens). He’ll say for me to wait until I’ve finished and then he will have leftovers to make sure I definitely have enough food. He would never assume that he gets more even though for the last 10 years he always has.

The dietary difference between men and women does not indicate double portions for men. This also depends highly on what each person is putting out calorie wise, which we have no indication of. A man sitting in an office all day will need less calories than a woman on her feet all day and carrying things.

What matters here is that OP is left hungry and somewhere along the line she lost her voice. She is eating in secret rather than vocally saying no - I will have my share. Maybe if DH is still hungry after his equal share he should be the one snacking on cereal bars.

This is exactly how it should be. It’s just basic care for your partner and politeness. OP’s DH is greedy and rude. Scoffing all he can before even checking how hungry his DW may be.

Sharing a pizza is not an issue if there is enough to split but I would expect 50/50. He would only have more if i was full and I offered the rest and vice versa. Does he control other aspects of your life and do you ever stand up to him?

@Bunchofcoconuts to be honest, I also don't get that. Are you struggling financially?

The fact the op says she’s come to accept this and he always says it means this is a running theme, where they don’t have enough food and he takes the lions share, and she now even smuggles snack bars as she will be hungry,

they need to eat to their budget, and if it means they can’t afford sufficient food they should not be out for food, or should eat before hand, maybe a sandwich’s to fill them up, and if it’s also at home, then they need to look at cheaper food options.

ive never read anything like this and ive read some crappy stuff on here, genuinely my husband has never uttered those words to me, I doubt they’d even cross his mind, and I’ve never heard it in friends, family etc either,

really what happened here, is he ordered a pizza and allowed her a little bit.

He shouldn't be snatching from your portion. If he needs extra calories he should order some bread (but not with a pizza) or a side order of something.

At home he could have more potatoes.

My husband does eat more and I give him more when I plate as I know how much I want, but he would never dream of finishing something shared unless he'd checked if I wanted more, and if he plates up he will give equal portions and leave some for seconds that again he checks if I want first.

What new arbitrary rule is this, many people have garlic bread wirh pizza?

DP tends to have a larger portion than me but he has a physical job so appreciate he needs more calories. At home I serve him up a larger portion but if we’re out he’d order appropriately, in your case we would have got a pizza but he would have added something on the side for himself instead of taking my share!

My DP is also incredibly greedy, to the point where it’s angering me and making me sick. He literally ate all of our 19 month old dds weetabix, he’s eaten all of my chocolate. He will take food off my plate.

Urgh I need to get rid of him.

Why not just order more food? DH does eat much more than me but if we are out we just get more sides etc so everyone has enough. It seems you knew it wouldn’t be enough for the two of you but didn’t do anything to fix it so you could complain.

I don’t eat much at all. My partner eats more than me - but he knows if he wants snacks he has to hide them from me because I am a trash panda.

Yeah this. I mean, it's not a difficult problem to solve. You know your DH eats a lot so just order your own meal and he orders his own?!

YABU for not just ordering enough for both of you. My DH eats more than me so we don’t share food we order our own. When we do share he orders an extra side or something as he’ll want more. Just ask for what you want. If you start to speak up you’ll feel much less frustrated.

How are you ordering when its just the two of you out? I don't understand how you are being left hungry if you are both ordering your own meals.

Does he take food off your plate before you have finished? That would be a feel my fork situation, but my husband would never take my food unless it was clear I'd finished/was offering it.

At home we put the serving dishes on the table and serve ourselves and always cook enough for plenty and leftovers.

In this situation, I'd do a trip through McD's on the way home after leaving the other people.

Oh my dad can be like this because of his awful father - sees the biggest portion or “best bit” as a sign of status. It’s really difficult for people to get out of imo- but of course it’s that person’s responsibility to try, especially they’re a parent.

This is just odd. Surely he can eat however much he wants and so can you? It's not like the more he eats, the less you get to eat . . .

Just order your own meals when out. Eat as much as you want at home.

I agree with PP, his eating shouldn't govern yours. But for what it's worth, if I were sharing a large pizza with my partner, I would expect him to eat 2/3 and I would eat 1/3. His calorific needs are significantly more than mine, not just because of gender/height/weight but also given his activity levels/muscle mass. If we ate 50-50, I would be overeating.

I do get miffed though at the speed with which he inhales food - especially if we are sharing a large bowl of popcorn or such in front of the TV. I like to munch my way gradually through the movie, and it is all gone in the first half an hour. I've learned to do separate bowls now 😂

Yes, my husband and sons tend to eat more than me as they are physically larger than me. Men typically have more muscle mass, therefore their calorie burn is higher than women’s so need to eat more. Your husband obviously seems to have a larger appetite than you so if you are getting a meal to share make sure you order enough that you are both satisfied by the amount you have, rather than one of you ending up hungry or order separate meals. If you are making food at home just cater a larger portion for your husband.

I'm 5'4 and DH is 6'4. He eats slightly more than I do.

However, if we're sharing something then we split it equally and he wouldn't dream of eating more than his half unless I'd specified he could have it, nor would he ask unless I offered of my own volition. If a pizza was 6 slices, he'd eat his 3 and not even consider touching the fourth until I'd offered it to him and was sure I was full. If he wanted more then he'd order it for himself or wait until we got home.

He also doesn't gobble his food down at break-neck speed like he's in a battle to clear his plate before everyone else. It's just manners.

Your DH is rude, and it's got nothing to do with him being bigger than you. I had an ex who tried this on me; served himself massive portions and gave me barely anything, two naan breads and me just one, wolfed down all the shared treats. I told him he was a rude bastard and started taking some of the food back off his plate and onto mine. It was a short relationship.

DH didn't even have to be told this sort of behaviour was rude, he just knew and didn't do it.

If we were sharing a pizza I’d expect to eat half should I chose to do so. I don’t know anyone who goes out for a meal and shares a dish according to height and weight.

i heard rumours or penis portions, but never seen it in th4 wild.

Exactly, it's a treat and treats should be shared equally.