First night away with new BF, was he unreasonable

[India87]

As above - would you expect your partner to tell you if they were going to be bringing ‘kink’ items? Or is it appropriate to find out by walking into the bedroom after a bath and finding said items being worn?

I would not be happy with that.

Why would it have a condom on?

Ah god, I've been single for 3 years and it's stories like this that putting me off ever going near a man again. So many of them seem to be either tedious or dangerous porn addicts now.

He's also extremely manipulative with what he said (let alone did).

It was for you - you both know that's utter bullshit. It's his kink, he didn't give a second's thought as to how walking into a room and immediately jumping.aboard a used dildo with no interest expressed, no foreplay, etc could possibly be pleasurable for you. That's because he isn't interested in your pleasure.

His ex was 'open about' things like this. That's supposed to make you feel in competition with her.

'Have to put that behind him and move on' - he innocently didn't know different women have different preferences? Pull the other one.

Yuk. He sees women as fuck toys.

I am sorry, ladies - when I posted that only pervs use sex toys, I was labelled a troll, this and that - and now all of you, in unison - dump him? Er? How does that work then?

Not ok for first night away. It will only get worse!

Consent a difficult concept for you?

I wouldn't know where to look.

It's not about the sex toys. It's about consent. It's because he sprung this on her without any prior discussion.

Seriously?

Oh gosh no. I'd be pretty pissed off after a relaxing bath to come out and to essentially be expected to "perform".
Whilst he might think it's "sexy", I think it's wildly presumptuous of him to assume how into it you're going to be, especially without any prior discussion.

For the nearest exit? 😧

They hadn’t previously discussed it. If OP was into it and up for having some ‘mask fun’(??) no problem

I’ve been messaging him tonight and said I don’t want to see him anymore because I don’t feel we are compatible. He has turned a bit nasty and said I’m prudish and have shamed him for his interests, maintaining it was for my ‘pleasure’.

I also said I feel uneasy that I suspect he has used that with other women. He pretty much confirmed this by saying it was ‘obviously’ sterilised and that not even rich people would dispose of toys after every use.

So that’s that, I’ll move on!

He’s a dickhead. You’re not prudish and you’re well rid.

He certainly was in that getup!

So any woman who doesnt want him to use it, is a prude?

You are well shot

Ew! I’m glad you called him out on it. It’s like he’s not even interested in finding out what you like. Just slotting you in to his ideal sexual kinks that his exes have noped out of.

I would not cut it either in the dating world, some of the weird stuff people are into, my hairdresser had told me some really crazy stories!

Regarding this scenario, I would probably have burst out laughing in embarrassment and would also get the ick. I’m not into it and would like to be told before that gimp sprung it on me.

🤢🤢🤢

Well clearly if you're doing something for someone's pleasure, you don't get pissy and shame them if it doesn't pleasure them, but you know that. Even if you are a prude, so what? People are allowed to be prudes. Better a prude than whatever the fuck he is.

Wow he is vile!

Thank you @pinkfondu . I must have led a sheltered life - I was wondering what the mask was for 🥺

OMG it gets worse and worse 😁

Eurgh that's grim. Just imagine what he'd be pulling out the cupboard a few more months in.

Sorry, if sex toys=normality and consent has been established - knobbing on a week-end away consensually - so why the surprise and disgust if it is perfectly normal? Or is it different?