Humiliated in restaurant

[Satwife]

Out for a meal last night with family/wider family. Starters all came at different points and a couple of issues with the mains too (forgetting sides). I had a polite word with the waitress who was apologetic. DH felt this was unnecessary.

Bill was brought over by a man and he apologised for the issues and said they were very busy with new staff getting used to things before December. Apology was directed to me.

DH said ‘sorry mate, she’s due on’ and laughed. Man didn’t react and awkwardly said he’d get the card machine.

DH maintains today I was being unreasonable and he attempted to diffuse things with humour!

This can't be the first comment he's made that shows him up to be the misogynistic pig he is, surely?

OMG What an absolute moron?

Well he wasn’t being funny was he and the ‘situation’ didn’t need to be diffused .

Your husband humiliated himself, just try and focus on that. No one was thinking "oh what a mardy woman", they were all thinking "god what a fucking gobshite" about him.

Props to that manager or whoever he was for not trying to laugh along, uncomfortable silence is exactly what should follow ridiculous outbursts like your husband's.

nope, my husband wouldn’t do this. Why would your husband do this to you?

You were right to mention the issues, your DH was a dickhead. I'd be fuming if I was you, not humiliated.

Sorry?

No wtf, YANBU. What a revolting comment. He says he was trying to defuse things with humour? Maybe he can explain exactly what was so funny about what he said? Ask him to explain exactly why a natural bodily process is a funny punchline.

The fact that his crap misogynistic ‘joke’ got nothing but an awkward silence from the members of restaurant staff should tell him that he’s the one in the wrong (not that it would have been OK if the staff member had laughed, actually).

How would your husband react if you tried to humiliate him in public?

I’d be refusing to go near him. Revolting comment. I’m sorry Op.

He’s a moron to have thought that comment would do anything other than embarrass everyone including, perhaps especially, the waiter.

Tell him to leave humour to people who understand what it is and are funny.

Well, to coin an MN phrase, you have a DH problem not a “you” problem!

“Yeah and he’s got no balls hence me having to mention it”

Unfortunately we live together and have no where else to go so I’ve not got much choice in that.

Why are you with someone so patently unpleasant? Life is much better without people like that.

It sounds like everyone was entirely reasonable except your DH. What a complete arse. I assume you know that already since you married him but he wouldn’t have got past a first date with me. I really hope you don’t have children with this awful man as no doubt he will pass on his “humour” to them.

I’d also be surprised if this was his first misogynistic comment. Was it?

What a charmer he is!

Have a word with him. He needs to understand why he was BU. You two should be on the same side. Doesn't he realise how humiliating that sort of comment can be?

I would really investigate this op.

he attempted to humiliate you in an effort to not make a complete stranger, male, feel better. So misogynistic.

He was embarrassed by you because you complained and he humiliated you to ease that embarrassment.
I say that as I remember being an embarrassed teenager whose parents would complain to the waitress and I’d be embarrassed and say I’m sorry they are so…. In a bid to exclude myself from the drama. I saw this in your Dh when I read the post.

There are threads like this every couple of weeks from a poster whose partner/boyfriend/husband talks about her bodily functions in public to try and embarrass her.

Quite honestly that comment is so out of the gross misogynistic handbook I'd be thinking I was in the middle of some " comedy" sketch.
Is your H really such a caveman OP?
Please don't ever doubt that such totally unacceptable language is never ok.

There is always a choice. This is a man who would use sexist stereotypes to undermine you in front of others.
You can have a better life.

First of all he's an idiot for not being OK that you spoke to the waitress about things coming out at different times. |It's perfectly reasonable and normal to highlight any service issues.

Secondly, he's undermining you and making misogynistic comments about you to a total stranger. WTF. Can he not cope with confident women?