To think this is the most judgy place online?

[jamcorrosion]

It feels like a parallel universe sometimes.

a while back I put a post up offering advice in my area of expertise- initially I got questions and answered as best I could. Then someone with the same expertise absolutely went to town on me about being unregulated and bringing the profession into disrepute and questioning if I was even qualified - then once one person started so many others jumped on. I was taking advantage of potentially vulnerable people, I’m not who I say I am, lots of concern etc etc, I was genuinely just trying to do a nice thing!

Not even just that - other threads about relationships asking for specific advice, most responses ignored the question and decided the person being asked about was lying and an awful person despite the OP confirming she had done due diligence.

It just feels like a place that’s supposed to be supportive and helping each other out, but I get the impression some people just like to put a negative on everything.

Not everything is bad and not every situation has more than meets the eye.

The worst ones are women judging women for daring to date whilst having children. I’ve seen comments saying things like ‘Put your children first for gods sake’ or variations of that. Since when is it not acceptable for a single parent to date?!

I just feel really disappointed sometimes when I read a thread - women should be supporting women. You can disagree without being nasty and judgemental. But we are our own worst enemies sometimes.

I can’t be the only one that has seen this?!

AIBU isn’t representative of mumsnet in general, I don’t think. An echo chamber it certainly ain’t.

There are a lot of men on here now too.

I agree it can be nasty and judgmental. I think there are a lot of bored bad minded people who post mean stuff to entertain themselves.

However I don't agree with women should be supporting women. That implies there is a 'women's perspective' which is a very sexist concept. We don't expect men to all have one hive mind opinion on things so why expect women to do so. All society is judgmental, its not a woman thing. There are many women here with very different world views or opinions to me, I dont post mean things but I often strongly disagree. There are also many very bigoted women and women who lack critical thinking, and let's be honest some pretty stupid women too. They do not speak for me because we share the same sex. We are all individuals and should be treated as such, i won't compromise my views to support a woman merely because she is a woman.

There's eleventy billion threads saying the same thing. Yes there are a hell of a lot of arseholes on here who post negative shit just to be a twat. Aibu is where they are the most.

Too many separated people do not put their children first or consider their best interests before steaming onto new relationships and 'blending' families, unfortunately.

That goes for men and women.

Extend your travels to the far reaches of the internet and other forums. I think you’ll find MN is a haven of civility and beautiful SPAG in comparison.

I agree with you there tbf - obviously everyone is entitled to disagree but there’s ways of saying things that don’t have to be nasty

It gets a bit like mob mentality sometimes - once one person says something negative lots more join in

Sorry I haven’t actually seen any!

I’m sure they don’t but that’s not what I said! The judgement was there just for dating, as if by being a woman separate from just a mum is being a bad parent

Really?! I don’t go on any other forums so nothing to compare to

@Screamingabdabz is completely right

Really like where?? I don’t go on any others

Just try reading the comments on almost any article in the Daily Mail!

Tbf any comments on social media are horrendous! I wonder if it’s that you can hide behind a computer or phone and wouldn’t dare say it in person

Yes there are always one or two on any thread who seem to have the hump or relish tearing strips. We have no idea what has gone on in their life or that day so I try not to take anything personally, but I do know what you mean. It has been very interesting to see the female misogyny in action though. When you see women calling other women crazy or hard work because they have higher standards in men or friends it can be quite shocking. Everyone seems to have something they hate but that when they see a thread on it they can't seem to stay away from it.

Yeah it just baffles me sometimes! When I was offering advice it was all nice and positive until one person jumped on me - as soon as one person did then lots of others did too. Actually called me a criminal etc it was crazy!!

And yes the misogyny from women amazed me

I agree it can get pretty nasty on here sometimes. Some threads genuinely damage my faith in human nature. However, you also get wonderfully uplifting threads where someone is really struggling and loads of strangers all do their best to help. Sometimes you just have to ignore certain threads.

So why is your thread title " ......the most judgy place online"?

Yep happening to me on another thread right now. I said my opinion someone didn't agree and now they will not drop it and are saying some of the most disgusting and hurtful things I've ever read. Im normally not effected by others online but this is way to far.

There seems to be a lot of Reddit warriors who try hijacking boards. Especially on the FWR board

Yes I have seen a few like that tbf which is lovely. I think my most recent experiences have been overwhelmingly negative

Some people are horrible aren’t they!

I felt like that on the post where I’d offered advice - this one person in the same profession came onto it specifically to call me out and act like I was doing something awful. I ended up deleting my account and starting a new one

I felt a bit like that earlier too, long exchange about how me not having a high paid job is my fault...dissecting every sentence! Was quite mad really. Don't over think it.

On the flip side we get hilarious ones like Carol the uniformed officer yesterday. I hope she got good rations even though her thread was pulled.

So you don't go on other forums but have made the decision this is the worst?

Women supporting women is usually code for "follow the party line or else"

And it is good advice for people to take whatever anyone says anonymously online with a pinch of salt and think critically rather than just take the word that the anonymous poster really is an expert

So you don’t go on other forums, and you’ve never any other threads on MN similar to yours?