To think this is the most judgy place online?

[jamcorrosion]

It feels like a parallel universe sometimes.

a while back I put a post up offering advice in my area of expertise- initially I got questions and answered as best I could. Then someone with the same expertise absolutely went to town on me about being unregulated and bringing the profession into disrepute and questioning if I was even qualified - then once one person started so many others jumped on. I was taking advantage of potentially vulnerable people, I’m not who I say I am, lots of concern etc etc, I was genuinely just trying to do a nice thing!

Not even just that - other threads about relationships asking for specific advice, most responses ignored the question and decided the person being asked about was lying and an awful person despite the OP confirming she had done due diligence.

It just feels like a place that’s supposed to be supportive and helping each other out, but I get the impression some people just like to put a negative on everything.

Not everything is bad and not every situation has more than meets the eye.

The worst ones are women judging women for daring to date whilst having children. I’ve seen comments saying things like ‘Put your children first for gods sake’ or variations of that. Since when is it not acceptable for a single parent to date?!

I just feel really disappointed sometimes when I read a thread - women should be supporting women. You can disagree without being nasty and judgemental. But we are our own worst enemies sometimes.

I can’t be the only one that has seen this?!

I don’t go on other forums no but I do access the internet and social media and in my experience that’s how I feel. I obviously haven’t been on every site that people can comment on

I meant women supporting women as in not trying to tear each other down at any opportunity

Its quite bold to make statements declaring something is "the most X" when you have such a limited experience of the Internet

Indeed. So it can’t be the ‘most judgy place online’ as the OP has apparently never gone elsewhere on the internet, and alsohasn’t been on Mn long enough to read anyone of the roughly twice weekly threads on how awful and judgemental Mn is.

Did you just waken out of an enchanted sleep, OP?

See this is the sort of stuff I mean? Obviously I didn’t mean it literally as I’ve not been on every single site available on the internet.

But why reply about the content when you can have a dig

This is exactly the sort of stuff I mean - it’s quite obvious I didn’t mean it literally. I doubt any person has been everywhere on the internet.

As I said to the previous poster - why reply to the content when you can have a dig

I do think a lot of it is not being in person gives people a lot more confidence to say stuff they would never dream of if they were stood in front of you!

Nah, I've been on Reddit

Yeah I have too but in all honesty I’ve found it much less judgy than here

I’ve been on mn for about 8 years and nc all the time. Whenever I post a thread asking for advice I’m always surprised that some people take the time to post something weirdly horrible, and if the thread is long enough then there is always one. It’s bizarre but I don’t take it to heart. Most comments are generally well thought out and well meant

I generally don’t take it personally but the one where I offered advice really got to me. I was being accused of allsorts and actually got worried someone was going to try and cause trouble in my life it was that intense

Depends which subs, go on something as simple a a reality TV thread, eg vanderpump rules and say you don't think Ariana is a queen and you will get absolutely annihilated

Hahaha yeah fair enough I’ve probably seen different subjects

No it isn’t ’quite obvious’.

But you have no ‘content’. You made a completely baseless whinge about a forum you don’t appear to know particularly well, based on a comparison with other internet forums you admit you never frequent,

It isn’t a baseless whinge - it’s based on my experience and granted more recent experience cause that’s what is on my mind.

I haven’t compared to anything - this is all my opinion and personal experience

This is exactly what my post is talking about!! You’ve come on here and commented just to what? Try and pull apart everything I’ve said and be unkind, it’s totally unnecessary

Really?! So you assumed I’ve been on every single area of the internet that accepts posts and/or comments?

Idk the incels and looksmaxers over on 4chan give it a good run for its money tbh

Exactly, why do mumsnetters act like women are singled out in this? I would say the exact same thing about a man creating multiple more families yet I got called an incel despite being a woman for saying blended families aren't ideal lol. On mumsnet supporting women means never criticising a woman, ever.

I’ve heard of that but never been on it - is it awful?

I certainly agree. I remember one particular thread and everyone piled in on whatever comment I had made. Somebody jumped to some conclusion about me, based on my comment. It was crazy. Just as a fictitious example - I said "roses are red". Somebody came along and said something "everyone knows not all roses are red. There are pink, yellow and white roses too!" Me "that's not what I said. I know not all roses are red." Then about 6 posters come along insisting that I had said that. all roses are red and that I am a naive idiot and also a liar.

No

Imagine men discussing how women could be kept like farm animals to be raped and bred at the will of the men in the community. And men basically tearing down other men and insulting everything about them from looks to personality, intelligence to finances to make them feel so unattractive they are trauma bonded to their movement. Some of them being young teen boys.

Yes, it’s bad.

Of course there are people who don’t prioritise their children but that’s not what I meant.

I meant the judgement for dating as a parent.

I am a single parent and the number of times I’ve been told I ‘chose’ wrong. Or that I’m awful for working when I should be raising my child, but if I’m not working and get benefits then I’m a scrounger. None of that judgement goes towards the parent that walked away.

Am I never allowed to go on a date again cause I have a child? I am still a person as well as a parent

Yes this is what I meant - it’s all fine and one negative comment then prompts lots of others to follow it’s not nice

Then it is quite obvious isn’t it