Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

[Frinkleg]

It’s always been an option as dh is a pilot. He’s spoken to an airline out there and would be able to secure a job with 3x the salary. We would actually be able to feel a little bit more than just comfortable.

I actually really do love the UK. I enjoy village life, British holidays, Brits are just funnier etc.

But the money is just too much of a head turner.

We could afford a gorgeous home in Connecticut with a pool.

We spend a lot of time in the states but only as holidaymakers. It would certainly be an adjustment.

of course I fear guns, American politics re female rights, I’m by no means pro Trump. The ICE raids are horrific. But we’d have some bloody money. And a nice house.

I can’t imagine the US ever feeling like home that’s the only thing.

Aren’t they at 15/16 for the signifiers of a dictatorship at present? It seems risky to be a foreigner in that climate.

You’ll get a lot of knee jerk posts saying absolutely not, however everyone’s opinions and outlook on life is different so I’d say do thorough research before committing to the move.

Will you be able to work too? I wouldn’t go if I could not work too.

Would you put a timeframe on coming back? I don’t think a place has to feel exactly like ‘home’ in order for you to enjoy the lifestyle and opportunities of a different country (I am from outside the UK so know what it’s like to move countries).

Do you have DC? This makes a difference as what would happen if you split and he refused to let you take them back to the UK?

You will need rock solid medical insurance.

YABU hope that helps.

I have family living there so I'm not just a US hater. They earn more than I could ever contemplate, have a huge house and send their DC to only the best montessori schools... however the politics are horrific, the laws are barbaric and cause the death of women, their kids are taught shooter drills regularly at 5yo, ICE raids happening to their lovely law abiding tax paying Mexican neighbours. No thank you.

We could afford this house (same price as current hosue). We currently live in a new build semi.

I wouldn’t personally.

but you are not me and if you want to why care what others would do?

Not as if our politics is doing so well right now either tbf

I can't imagine anything worse tbh
The politics, the guns, the education system, women's rights, the healthcare system, tipping everywhere, driving everywhere.
Nope.

Is health insurance paid for the family, do you have kids who need school and college. Do you plan to go back and forth is the salary enough when you minus the nhs and free education

I do imagine we would end up living in a bubble. Gated community etc. That does seem extremely dystopian and not something I would have contemplated a few years ago.

I am waiting to renounce my US citizenship. If I could give mine to you I would 😂

Yanbu, life is for the living etc. I most likely will never live there again, but it isn't because I hate it or anything. Obviously make sure your health insurance is top notch etc

As a (presumably) middle class white family in Connecticut they will be fine.

Connecticut is democrat and has very restrictive gun laws so a lot of the worries are irrelevant. It’s like refusing to move to Sweden because abortions are banned in Poland.

If you think the two situations are remotely comparable I’m afraid you don’t understand the situation in the US well enough. Your risk though.

DH is half Indian but most assume he is white as he has blue eyes and light skin

Looks a bit bleak to be honest. And America is in a state.

People are saying similar about the UK

US horrified me right now. I would hate to live there.
Having said that, I can see why the money, house and pool are making you consider it!

I think it would be a fun adventure… I assume a pilot is always going to be employable so you could always return home.

You will get a lot of reactions about the politics etc but things are so regional. I live in CA, while what is happening at the national level is discouraging I do feel it less because I live in a state where I don’t fear my rights being taken away and it so a state that cares about its citizens with a social safety net and strong employee protections. My quality of life is far superior to what it would be in the UK in every way. Yes healthcare is expensive but with a good employer plan you would be fine. The facilities at my local school are unbelievable and the range of educational opportunities is excellent as well as the extra curriculars available. I have lived in the U.S. for over 20 years and have yet to see a gun apart from on a police officer. I think CT would be similar in many ways, good schools, safe, likeminded people. Mumsnet is probably not the place to ask and people get on their moral high horse about how terrible the U.S. is and they could never live here.

Don’t let a big house cloud your judgment, houses mean nothing it’s their Location Location Location.

I’m originally from the Northeast US and I say, if you want to, go for it. You may not always have this opportunity, and if you hate it you can always come back.

The politics, guns, lack of holiday time, healthcare etc all played a part in why I wanted to live elsewhere, but there’s also a bit of grass-is-always-greener.

Connecticut is the wealthiest and best educated state in the US, good quality of life, a beautiful part of the country. You certainly won’t be insulated from the insane politics, but if I had to move back to the US it’s one of the few places I’d consider.

I didn’t mention guns at all, and wouldn’t base a decision on that. Poland and Sweden are sovereign states; the US is a country even if the government is federal.
I don’t think it would be great to live in an authoritarian state even if you weren’t personally going to be first against the wall but people who think they wouldn’t mind should crack on.

I think weekend road trips would be such an adventure. I do love how diverse the American landscape is.

Kids are 4, 6 and 9.

Go for it!

I’ve lived there twice. As a child on the east coast in a suburb city and then as an adult in New York. It’s a strange mix of things America- living there it quite different to visiting. Don’t under estimate the cost of living. Food is expensive, healthcare is expensive ( even with insurance , the deductibles and extras are ridiculous and it’s so complicated) schools are a mixed bag. And the things you are responsible for as a citizen- clearing sidewalks of snow and keeping drains clear. Especially if living on an estate.
Tax - federal and state plus any in UK. You are not double taxed but have to employ someone to sort it all out for you.
I made good friends - but they were the ones that travelled to Europe and were more left leaning. It’s a vast place so I guess it’s unfair to lump everyone together. Each state is so different.
I left a couple years ago. I was so pleased to get back to England. Overall I feel it’s not a very civilised or developed place.

I lived in the US during the last Trump administration in a blue state and it felt a long way from Washington and I can’t say I was really impacted by any of his politics. We stayed 3 years, really enjoyed it but it wasn’t home and we moved back for DD to start school in the UK. I think it would definitely be an adventure for a few years! Nothing would convince me to live in a bleugh mcmansion in a suburban gated community though. And IDK where that house is but the only part of CT I know is Greenwich which is absolutely lovely but a house like that would be multiple millions there so do your research and don’t forget to budget for all the extras like property taxes, HOA fees and health insurance.