Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

[Frinkleg]

It’s always been an option as dh is a pilot. He’s spoken to an airline out there and would be able to secure a job with 3x the salary. We would actually be able to feel a little bit more than just comfortable.

I actually really do love the UK. I enjoy village life, British holidays, Brits are just funnier etc.

But the money is just too much of a head turner.

We could afford a gorgeous home in Connecticut with a pool.

We spend a lot of time in the states but only as holidaymakers. It would certainly be an adjustment.

of course I fear guns, American politics re female rights, I’m by no means pro Trump. The ICE raids are horrific. But we’d have some bloody money. And a nice house.

I can’t imagine the US ever feeling like home that’s the only thing.

This! Yes go to America. You can come back in a few years but its a great place to live if you have money. I have lots of family there. None of them have come close to being shot. Not everone is a Trump loon.ICE raids aren't going to affect you.

do you know anyone there? Who would be visiting this gorgeous house? I’ve been tempted myself purely for property purposes - it’s shocking what we end up with here in the UK house wise vs some parts of America!

As a Brit living in the states I can tell you about my life. We have a great healthcare package, fantastic schools with great sports, drama and arts facilities.Recreational facilities here are great I have 5 rec centre's within 30 mins with pools,.gym, skating etc. I Like the culture here it's more optimistic and upbeat. In general American's are very welcoming of Brits. Yes there are some crazy politics going on but most of us are just here living our lives as normal.

Can you try it for a few years and then come back? (Although Dubai would probably be better from financial perspective)

If that's what you want then go ahead. I would hate to live in the US at the moment.

Is that Southfork?

Could you though? You can’t just compare rent/mortgage on one to the other. The overall cost of living is very different.

I live in the United States. I live a very privileged life here. My money and my skin color protect me from all sorts of issues my fellow citizens have to face.

I am still terrified. I am not convinced our democracy is going to survive.

babies have been pepper sprayed. American citizens have been held by ICE. Rights are being violated constantly.

my day to day life remains idyllic, but that doesn’t mean this is a good place to live.

As someone who’s done similar - check the cost of house insurance, property taxes/HOA fees (and car insurance) before deciding on comparable house costs, they are often massively higher than UK. Also when you come to selling a property it is a lot more expensive to sell here. Also be aware it may be very difficult to buy a house until you have lived in the US a few years and built up a US credit history. Feel free to PM me if you’d like more details!

Looks like Newtown.

Would the children be in private school and have you factored in those costs? Are you planning to be a stay at home mum? How close are you with extended family?

I don’t think it’s a non-started necessarily. I’d worry a bit about air traffic control and the government shut downs as I know that’s been a concern. Surely Trump can’t live forever, though?

Financially it’s a better life if you’re wealthy, in a lot of ways. Depends what your priorities are.

I’d go in a minute!

A “fantastic” health care policy in USA does not equal ‘paying minimally out of pocket’ sadly. Even the best top notch policies only cover in-network providers (and all providers have to be in network eg not just the doctor performing your surgery, but also the building in which it takes place, the anaesthetist, the theatre staff etc), and you still have co-pays on everything, every visit, check-up, prescription, everything. It mounts up to a lot very quickly when you have kids.

But could you afford the healthcare? Do you need a house that big? Really??

And, you know, money isn’t everything. Do you have enough to live on, comfortably? Do you really need more? Is the pursuit of more money worth the considerable risks involved in living in America right now?

Personally, I wouldn’t.

No I wouldnt actually go that specific house it’s not necessarily my style but oh my are Connecticut houses charming! I’d be more than happy with 2000 sq ft

And have you taken into account that Connecticut is an “at will” state in employment law? So DH’s contract can be terminated for no reason on no notice and he loses his not just his job, but also his healthcare and, if it’s tied to his job, his right to be in the country. Suddenly he (or you, or heaven forbid one of you and child/children) are ill/injured and out of work, no health insurance and on a deadline to leave (within 30 days I think?) or become “illegals”. USA is the most amazing place to live when all is going well in life, but the flip side of their ‘every man for himself’ attitude is you are on your own when the chips are down. Medical bankruptcy is very, very real.

Is this a joke, or are you genuinely defending moving to the US on the grounds that your DH passes as white?

Because if it's genuine, you couldn't have found a way to shout louder that the US is a racist country but you could have a pool, so...

That's a whomper of a house to heat in Conneticut's sub-zero winter temperatures! I'd want a cleaner/housekeeper too for a house that big tbh.

I've lived in the Tri State for years and absolutely love it but you'd have to pay me to live in CT. I completely irrationally can't stand CT! It's just one long traffic jam. Plus, for a pilot, it's not near any of the NYC airports which I'm presuming he'd be working out of.

Also, it's not apples for apples so it's hard to compare property values to what you have now. Presumably your council tax isn't $25k a year? And as a newbie, you're not eligible for a lot of mortgages. Add in healthcare and cost of living, the US is not a cheap area to live, especially in the NYC area. So make sure you do your research because those big salary numbers don't always go as far as you might think. But if you go for it, I hope you love it as much as I have!

YANBU to consider it. But please really research it first. You would definitely be able to afford a far bigger house because there is space out there. But a lot of things are way more expensive - food definitely is - and the quality is not so good. Everything has tax on top of advertised prices. You would need premium health insurance - although the airline might offer that for all the family as part of the package. Look into schools, weather etc. A US friend of mine returned to UK, moved back into her tiny house here, from their mansion in US, but said she still prefers it here - the climate, the social life. Where she lived was too hot and humid to ever be outdoors whereas in UK we often sit out in summer, eat outside, have drinks in pub gardens etc. We can walk everywhere. They drive everywhere in most US cities. It's just a very different lifestyle.

This post makes it sound like a very risky proposition though!

We lived somewhere previously where it was legal to sack an employee for no reason. However, this was backed up by a very generous unemployment safety net as long as you had been employed longer than two years, so we were happy to take the risk. The US sounds like a different kettle of fish completely!

So as someone who lives in the UK as a foreigner absolutely not.

Living somewhere is completely different to visiting. You have absolutely no idea what it so like.

I know many many many expats who are homesick for years (7 is the average), can’t get used to the culture, find it very hard to make friends and you won’t be able to work .

Please don’t romanticise things either - beside the list you have included you forgot expensive healthcare, very expensive uni of out of state (and even then) etc etc.

You may be able to live in a nice house in a gated community but you have to go out into the world and there isn’t any amount of money that could pay me to move to the US right now.

As an Anglo-American couple, we could go there too. The Anglo doesn’t want to - despite the ‘Connecticut mansion bought outright’ temptation. The American, on the other hand, feels that the UK is in a parlous state, that things are only going to get worse here and that the only option we have that’s more worrying than staying in England would be to go back to America.

I think you need to factor in day to day cost of living in the US - it's crazy expensive, even groceries.

I find your comment a bit odd, and think I may have misunderstood. Are you saying that things feel more uncertain politically in the UK than in the US? This would be a bit of a niche position at the moment I would have thought.

Certainly there is some change and uncertainty atm in the UK, but we have not needed to close down government due to failing to agree the budget, and air traffic contollers get paid even when there are political disagreements. This sort of thing would directly impact your husband's airline job if you lived there, and possibly increase his risk of being made unemployed.