Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

[Frinkleg]

It’s always been an option as dh is a pilot. He’s spoken to an airline out there and would be able to secure a job with 3x the salary. We would actually be able to feel a little bit more than just comfortable.

I actually really do love the UK. I enjoy village life, British holidays, Brits are just funnier etc.

But the money is just too much of a head turner.

We could afford a gorgeous home in Connecticut with a pool.

We spend a lot of time in the states but only as holidaymakers. It would certainly be an adjustment.

of course I fear guns, American politics re female rights, I’m by no means pro Trump. The ICE raids are horrific. But we’d have some bloody money. And a nice house.

I can’t imagine the US ever feeling like home that’s the only thing.

Why on earth would you live in a gated community in CT? It's hardly Johannesburg. Lots of ill informed opinions on this thread. If you want honest opinions/information on moving to the US pm me - we moved to the north east seven years ago. We love it; not everybody does. It's very very very expensive so if you're earning 3x what you do in the UK, you'll be spending 3 x on food, utilities (they are insanely expensive), home insurance, car insurance, property tax (25k a year) etc

Just as a matter of interest, is there any nation on earth that people are not saying similar ?

I think you are massively underestimating the cost of living and the maintenance costs of a large home with a pool. And the taxes associated with a home in a nice area with good schools.

Going against the grain here but I’m a Brit living on the east coast (married an American) and love my life here. The politics are horrific and there is a lot culturally and politically that I will probably never get my head around, but our quality of life out here (acknowledging of course that we are incredibly lucky not to be the current target demographic of this administration’s awful policies) is really good. It feels as much “home” to me now as anywhere else I’ve lived and loved. I’ve found the overwhelming majority of people to be kind and friendly (and not in the superficial way stereotypes suggest) and what we can afford housing wise out here is worlds apart from what we could afford if we moved back to the UK.

That being said, be sure to factor in the significant added cost of health insurance, cost of living (everything is so expensive) and school taxes, especially in CT, and be conscious of the political climate of the state/specific area you’re moving to. If you’re relatively liberal by American standards, CT is probably a good choice with its proximity to NYC, etc. I wish we’d moved somewhere more politically liberal (we’ve lived in other states that were and I miss that so much), but I really do love life out here.

I think you should go for it! It doesn’t have to be forever. If you don’t like it, you can come home. It’s not like you’re moving to the moon.

We live overseas our kids were born in 2 different countries and now we’re living in a third. It’s great life experiences. We considered going home a few years ago but at the top of our ‘con’ list was the NHS. I know that we should all be very grateful for it. But, it seems like it’s falling apart right now. We’re so used to private healthcare, it would be difficult to go back.

Does the USA have its challenges? Of course. But so does the UK right now. Sounds like an amazing opportunity. Good luck to you!

I would, but only for a while, not forever.

My quality of life as a Brit in the US is much better than it was when I lived in the UK. I live in a Mountain West region state. I’d do my research as people have suggested, re healthcare, schools, housing, cost of living, but I can tell you for me, moving to the US is the best thing I’ve ever done.

I’m in a blue city, in a blue county, in a blue state, so I’m very insulated from gun violence. I also try to keep in mind that “The statistical likelihood of a specific child being shot in a U.S. school is extremely low, described as a roughly 1 in 614 million chance of being killed by a gun in school on any given day.” I do understand the concern re school shootings. And when I let my kids go to other peoples homes I always ask about guns (and pools when they were little)

Im in a mixed marriage with children, and we haven’t had problems with racism. Where we live has a large percentage of Latino and Asian people, and African Americans, so we’re nothing special.

Our house is big by UK standards, 3,000 sqft 5/4 MCM house plus casita on 3/4 acre, my backyard is a little resort with pool/spa, sauna, outdoor shower. Come Friday afternoon, we’re either hosting friends or over at theirs, and the teen kids are with us as our house has plenty to entertain them. It means we’re very close to the kids, while they still have their own friendships. My family are mostly in the UK, but they visit regularly and we have space in the casita and our home for them.

Our local libraries and parks are top notch. Most libraries and parks have community centers, and my children have benefitted from sports programmes, language classes, music lessons, parent and me classes, and lots of choice and options at very affordable prices. Think gymnastics twice a week for one daughter, for $40 a month. Our elementary schools all have reasonably priced before and after school care on site, and our school district gives us free schools meals breakfast and lunch. My DD middle school uses the community center next door for after school care, and middle schoolers can be dropped an hour earlier than school starts for breakfast or to use the library.

Where I live, it’s sunny 300 days of the year. This has made a tremendous difference to my depression and health, as I’m more likely to exercise and get out of the house for some fresh air. This is major for me, as back in the UK I was probably affected by SAD, and often struggled badly with depression.

I’ve also lived in So Cal, and overall, I find Americans very friendly and welcoming. Many of my friends are also transplants (though not from abroad like me, usually from other states like the mid west), and we’re all happy to have a close friendship group with support to lean on, as we’re all far from home and family. And being British is definitely a plus to making friends, luckily.

I don’t find the cost of living to be more than the Uk at all. I mostly shop at Costco, high quality and great prices. I use my garage freezer and prep and organize, and I think we eat really well. And our current home was a fixer upper, we paid well under $500k, and improved it bit by bit over the last few years.

Anyway, good luck with your choice, it’s a great opportunity.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and be careful what you wish for. Maxims that were made for you.

The US is fantastic, the land of opportunity, provided you have a sizeable bank balance, massive savings, a huge chunk of cash to buy a house on a small mortgage. The minute you're out of work or fall ill, that's it, you'll be absolutely in the mire and on the scrap heap, and there'll be no backstop, no support structures in place, you're on your own kiddo. It's absolutely brutal out there.

youre unlikely to be able to move to US unless you're a brain surgeon, an eminent scientist or have some unique skill or are sponsored by a global blue chip company with a letter signed by their CEO needing you to work in their US HQ.

what makes you think you'd qualify to emigrate to US? Or is this just wishful thinking?

ETA @HumphreyCushionintheHouse but you haven't given us the complete picture of what qualified you to move to US. You've made it sound like you woke up one day and found yourself in a beautiful neighbourhood in a beautiful US state. That wouldn't happen. There are surely significant barriers to entry being able to move to US, so those qualifiers may not apply in OPs case.

Ye gods....

...the nonsense.

Have a look at the kind of US salary a pilot can make with seniority.

You don't have to 'afford achools' in a state with mind blowingly excellent public schools in the affluent areas the OP and her H would easily be able to afford to live in.

I'd bet money on abortion remaining available in CT. The Supreme Court has passed abortion over to each individual state to legislate on.

Being a pilot isn’t a path to immigration, though. He can talk to airlines all fat long over here, and they can make job offers, but without a valid path to a visa it’s meaningless. His best bet is to stay with his current employer and go through the L-2 route. That won’t necessarily be a permanent move (unless the airline sponsors his green card down the line - unlikely as that gives him carte Blanche to work anywhere) but it’s his best chance.

I’m an American in the US and work in the immigration field. If I had a nickel for every time I heard “I’ve been offered a job…”

Yes, definitely go for it OP

Every time someone says something negative about your proposal you come back with a snippy answer about the UK. I'm guessing you are not as anti-Trump as you claim to be and you have already made your mind up. Incidentally my DDIL came here from the USA two years ago, and whilst the wages may be higher there, the cost of living is horrific. But you don't want to hear that. You just want validation. Fair enough. Off you pop. And good luck. You will need it.

Giant shifts are happening every 5 minutes over there.
How many times have people said "He'll never get away with that" ..... and then he does!

The salary is higher, but everything also costs more in the US. Most are saving massively for their kids’ college since birth, have you been?

Remember lots of money and possessions incl. a big house don’t buy happiness OP.

Your children are young and chances are they’ll grow up thinking of the US as their home and will take the culture as their own. They will marry Americans (potentially with very different beliefs and values to the average brit) and you will have American grandchildren. If you stick it out in the US for your kids’ childhood to enjoy the big house etc but it never does grow to feel like ‘home’, what then? If you ever want to return to live in the UK you will likely have to leave your children and grandchildren behind. The choice will become family vs home. I wouldn't think a fancy house can compensate for that, personally.

No amount of money would tempt me to send my kids off every day to an American school.

I work in IT, got a job with an H1B visa, the company interviewed in London looking for programmers who use the language I know.

I initially lived in an apartment, then bought a small house and got my green card after a 4 year application. Met my husband at work, he has a similar experience in coming to America, but not from the UK, and between us we built a life and family together.

Your DH's new salary may well be 3x his current salary on paper but once you start to deduct things like tax, health insurance/costs, travel/commute, groceries, etc. it probably won't be quite as much more than you think. That's not to say you won't still be better off in the US financially.

Also check out things like your husband's "home base" etc., it could be that he would be expected to operate out of an airport several hours away from where you plan to live. If so, the travel time and costs to get to his operating base from his home would usually be expected to be on his own time and at his own costs. The pay structure with a lot of American airlines is vastly different to UK airlines so another thing to check out.

If you enjoy America and do your due diligence then why not give it a go. As a pilot he'll almost always be employable somewhere in the world. Maybe this could be the start of many years living overseas moving from country to country experiencing the world!!

Can we just stop with this garbage? Australia - most multicultural country in the world.Over a quarter of people born overseas, over half having at least one parent from overseas. Gosh its so annoying living in one of the most mixed race, hugely peaceful countries.( sarcasm) Please do stay away with your racism towards us all.

BTW - that house is gorgeous - parts of the US sure do build beautiful big houses well. It looks like the one from "Father of the Bride". I'd go for it OP. If you hate it you can always go home.

Nope wouldn't take my kids over there at all and regardless of anything else being better my kids safety comes first and yes something could happen in UK but the fact guns are so available over there is a no from me

We have family and friends in the US.
My cousin and his wife, born in the US, are in the process of emigrating.
My other cousin and her family are living there because the kids are in education but they're not happy.
My sister in law with US citizenship and her family are impacted by the shutdowns.
My other sister in law and her family are on green cards and have just relocated (job security is to frighteningly poor) but can't buy because their previously secure immigration status no longer stands.
Family friends are deeply unhappy.
I wouldn't visit let alone live there at the moment.
Employment and health rights are terrifying let alone school standards and safety.

If you don’t have kids then I’d definitely go. Connecticut is beautiful - it will be great to experience a different way of life.
My biggest regret is not working abroad when I had the chance. There’s a lot wrong with most countries but I love the diversity of the US landscape and would love to have lived there for a few years.

Like the US then, and they don't hide it!

As someone who has been back n forth for years and is FINALLY getting toward the end of the greencard process, I would say it's not all bad but living there and holidaying there are really quite different. The cost of living there is very different too, property taxes are silly high in some states (no idea about Conneticut sorry). But if you do move there are lots of fb groups that can help with things and I know my local brit community there have regular meet ups n stuff, just all people who's only connection is our nationality. Do also be aware that when you live in a non touristy area that not everyone is receptive to a 'foreigner' in their community. I've had people comment on us taking their jobs n homes but will add a majority are lovely and just find me a novelty in my community.