The current state of MN and how do I stop reading?

[Westpoint]

I actually don't know where to start......

But WTF is happening recently? I mean I know AIBU isn't for the faint of heart but the pile on's have become ridiculous. For the experienced posters the ignore tactic works ok but the vitriol for no bloody reason whatsoever just kills the thread.

Yet I keep on reading?

I have a pretty full life but when I log on I do tend to come here and I'm often left with a really bad taste in my mouth.

Why are people just so combative these days?

I do realise the futility in posting this. Maybe I just need a massive boot up the arse (I'm sure I do).

What do people get from being so nasty?

It actually just makes me really sad. Yes, that's my problem I get it. It's just all so stupid, petty and a waste of everyone's time.

Anyway, that's my rant. Prepared to be unnecessarily flamed (well, I'm not actually, it will hurt my feelings but it's going to happen isn't it? I mean, I could post that puppies are cute and fluffy but some miserable cunt will come along along and tell me that their arse's stink, they shit all over their school run and because they are allergic NO-ONE should enjoy them).

This place really has become a victim of it's own success.

I think I might be out but it's hard to let go. I joined 15 years ago!

It doesn't matter. We need more people doing it.

Personally I think we have a lot of MRAs on here now.

You can tell. Ive got a degree in English literature so maybe easier for me. There's quite a lot you can get a feel for. I have been proved right so many times in the past 16 years.

AI posts are lengthy and written in a discursive style using more words than someone typing on a phone.

I can always spot trolls. Something about hitting deliberate buzzwords and hot topics. Friday night a classic time for someone getting their entertainment by spinning a yarn on MN. You can tell by the pacing of the posts as well as the "plot development".

Trolling often intersects with AI now as the trolls got too lazy

It’s definitely changed, I remember years ago a lady posting for help leaving her abusive marriage. The support she got was overwhelming such good practical advice and emotional support and she left and came back to say she’d moved elsewhere and was finally happy. It was so good to read women supporting another woman in such a vulnerable place.

You don’t really get that now, no matter how lighthearted the thread someone will come on and spoil it. Sad really.

I commented on a thread this evening. A woman apparently had a child after short relationship and didn’t tell the father. The entire point of the thread was everyone ‘apparently’ piling on to tell her the main thing was that she had to let the child have a relationship with the father even though he was abusive to her. I reported it and yes it was a troll. I presume some man who wants to give off to women. Anyway.

It's definitely changed for the worst. More men, more MRAs, more trolls, more bots, more racism, fucking AI🙄 and more people who actively seem to hate mothers and children.😲

I mean that's just weird.

Me too. I would never ask for advice or support now. The last time I did, about 18 months ago, some responses were so awful I was so upset and actually left mumsnet for a while. I rejoined under a new username but would never start a thread now. Even about something light or innocuous. Some people can be horrible about anything.
I have been on here since around 2005 apart from a few months here and there. In fact from 2007 to 2008 I had lovely support here whilst my DH was terminally ill and died.

Yes it has become a bit horrible, I was here 10 years ago and whilst yes people was told if they was being unreasonable it was done in a way that wasn't overly nasty. Usually the threads that are the worst are 1. People speaking about children with disabilities and they are the ones that really turn my stomach with the replies the OP gets 2. Stepparents 3. Anything to do with a man

Usually the threads that are the worst are 1. People speaking about children with disabilities and they are the ones that really turn my stomach with the replies the OP gets 2. Stepparents 3. Anything to do with a man

Don't forget the Harry & Meghan threads! Some of the posters on those are insane.

Haven't hopped on one of those as Harry and Meghan's lives really don't interest me. Good to know to definitely avoid them.

It's gone real nasty and argumentative. The worst things are twisting words and name calling. And belittling too.
I've been here 15+ years.

Yes! Fake stories that were really creative and hilarious. Everyone knew they were a joke and played along.

Remember the Friday night drunk threads? They would be seriously frowned on now 😂

I wonder if people are just not happy with their own life right now, its hard, a struggle etc. And it makes them feel better, more superior when they make those comments...putting down other people so they felt good about themselves 💁‍♀️ I don't know how you can being nasty to someone entertaining or amusing

I've only been on MN about 4-5 years and it has got worse in that short time. It's really vicious on here now

I've deviated away from AIBU to the books threads and telly addicts. Found some wonderful books to read from recommendations.

It's actually quite sad. I used to love the gentle support and kindness on here. People disagreed sometimes but the pile ons now are horrible..

Sometimes the OP sounds distraught and yet still people queue up to give her a kicking and to tell her it's all her fault..

I joined pre penis beaker, and didnt post as at that time there was very little content relevant to me - I was never a mother and so working class

I came back about 3 years now and Im very careful where I post

Only once have I urged a woman to LTB, thread is still running , she's making changes

When I do reply to a thread, its usually I offer my own experience , say what I had happen, what my choices were, how I got through, I never tell a person they are wrong or right, because how can I? Im not in their shoes.

I do like that posts are not so moderated that they are deleted willy nilly, but I do wish that posters should take the view that the OP is a person , maybe they arent, but then maybe someone who is real is reading looking similiar help, and doesn't get it because of pile ones

There used to be good debate opportunities & I found I learned things or saw things from different perspectives. It's very combative now, I don't understand the point of coming onto a forum just to get in arguments or insult strangers

I posted in 2021 i think about my parents not really being involved and I got a pile on about wanting free babysitting, I made my bed and should never expect any help etc.

I had such bad post natal depression and I just wanted my parents to care and be involved (I wasn’t after free babysitting). It could have ended differently if I had self harmed or ended my life, people here didn’t help at all.

I still remember it and I always try to read past a paragraph, people have much more going on than a few sentences. Life is more complex.

I've only been on MN on and off for a couple of years, and only recently been more active in replying to posts. The level of exchange on AIBU in particular is often shocking, particularily to OPs in difficulty or distress. If it's SEN related, I often recommend that the OP posts on the SEN forum.

Tonight there was an AIBU thread by a mum who's 10 year old son had run away and had been missing all day. Police searching etc. There was one particularily vicious poster who repeatedly said unpleasant things and then tried to justify the comments to seem reasonable as well as then attacking the people pulling the poster up on the inappropriateness of the comments given the serious nature of the situation. It was horrible. I challenged it, but I despair tbh. There are lots of helpful people on here, but the rotten apples seem to be spreading their nastiness faster than they can be removed.

more people who actively seem to hate mothers and children

Yes, which is also really odd.

People can be just awful. I'm shocked to read about some of these. To tear people down when they desperately need support is just horrible 😞

I've been on a thread with various others trying to explain the experiences of neurodivergent people and the nastiness that has been posted about disabled is unbelievable.

To be honest, the nasty replies and comments people get on here are just a reflection of the nasty attitude most of society has. Ask anyone who works in a public facing job. People are awful.

More older posters?!!! And they are contributing to the vitriol? Ageist much?!

There are a couple of posts tonight that are just painful to read - the OP getting questioned and picked on. It is very unpleasant indeed on here and quite often I feel I’d like to start a new post, but I can predict exactly how my post would be pulled apart. So I don’t bother.

I read a lot of threads on MN and just find it really easy to ignore the bun fights.

I just skip past them.

I'm not sure why other people read them?

It’s become so bad and people will pull someone apart. It’s disgusting behaviour. No doubt they will do the same on this post too.