The current state of MN and how do I stop reading?

[Westpoint]

I actually don't know where to start......

But WTF is happening recently? I mean I know AIBU isn't for the faint of heart but the pile on's have become ridiculous. For the experienced posters the ignore tactic works ok but the vitriol for no bloody reason whatsoever just kills the thread.

Yet I keep on reading?

I have a pretty full life but when I log on I do tend to come here and I'm often left with a really bad taste in my mouth.

Why are people just so combative these days?

I do realise the futility in posting this. Maybe I just need a massive boot up the arse (I'm sure I do).

What do people get from being so nasty?

It actually just makes me really sad. Yes, that's my problem I get it. It's just all so stupid, petty and a waste of everyone's time.

Anyway, that's my rant. Prepared to be unnecessarily flamed (well, I'm not actually, it will hurt my feelings but it's going to happen isn't it? I mean, I could post that puppies are cute and fluffy but some miserable cunt will come along along and tell me that their arse's stink, they shit all over their school run and because they are allergic NO-ONE should enjoy them).

This place really has become a victim of it's own success.

I think I might be out but it's hard to let go. I joined 15 years ago!

Just realised that I already mentioned the above previously on this thread. It obviously annoyed me more than I realised. But I’ll blame menopause because that has a lot to answer for😆

Sorry but a cynic might think MN HQ is just paying lip service to save their advertising revenue.

No plans to sort the ableism and anti autism/adhd stance that MN lets sit day in and day out nor the abuse those receiving benefits get . It is being noticed elsewhere as it has a massive impact.
The NHS ADHD Taskforce that has recently published a superb report re ADHD have noted:-

Stigma: We noted people with lived experience report challenges and injustice around ADHD because of stigma, misinformation and misunderstanding, including among some professionals. There also are concerns about the accuracy of information on ADHD provided by some sectors of social media and traditional media. Children and adults highlighted the impacts of negative attitudes around ADHD on them. We noted additional stigmatisation for those from marginalised communities”

“Good would look like a supportive media that doesn’t use ADHD as clickbait – stop talking about ‘ADHD drugs’ rather than ‘ADHD medication’. That is a deliberate choice of words, chosen to stigmatise and shame.”
“Social media is wonderful in many ways, but we are running the risk that ADHD is being perceived as an ‘identity choice’ and therefore easier to dismiss.”

It is basically summing up what MN lets sit and encourages day in and day out as regards autism and ADHD. We report it over and again and you ignore. You don’t moderate threads properly and couldn’t give two hoots when ableism is reported. It is hugely damaging but you won’t jump up and say you’re sorting it because it doesn’t impact your advertising revenue.

I joined MN over 22 years ago. It felt like the safest place to be for a parent of a disabled child, it’s now one of the most damaging.

Mumsnet needs to pay for more moderators. It can't rely too heavily on the general public (us) to do the donkey work. There's only so much that can be done by PPs.

This is where Reddit is better. From what I see, there are moderators for subreddits (that I use) and the general vibe is friendlier.

This happened to me recently too. I was challenging a poster that made repeated ableist comments.

Yes, that’s how I got a deletion. Even just reading the post I was responding to it was clear who was the instigator and was allowed to stand. No wonder they’re all having a field day on here.

@BIWI I think I got a few days ban ages ago (is that a thing?) & I never understood it. I had argued with a poster but wasn't saying anything to them that they weren't saying to me and they were much more offensive. When I came back I realised that anyone can report a post & the responsibility is on the person offended. I did not know this before and never reported a thing.

I don't have an issue with robust debate and don't mind being wrong & someone corrected me. Some posters are quite sly though in that they accuse you of lying, having an agenda etc without crossing the personal line and try & goad you. Again I've seen it a lot on the Meghan threads (sound like a broken record).

@bottledboot a temporary suspension of a few days is a thing, yes.

So it actually is dangerous to engage with posters making inflammatory comments because they can get you banned if your retaliatory posts get reported. As the more times you get posts banned the more likely it is you will eventually get a permanent ban.

I agree that MN will just pay lip service to these issues. It would take huge effort and investment to make a real difference. In addition MN would have to admit there is a problem. I suspect MN will just continue to take the money from advertising and let things run. I don't think @JustineMumsnet (whoever/whatever that means) like to advertise the site as being populated with women exchanging ideas, giving support to each other. Day to day you are more likely to find yourself interacting with a troll, bot..so many angry people, so much mental ill health, isolation, anger on here.

It's very sad. I've been here about 15 years and have made some awesome real life friends along the way. The nastiness now completely ruins that and I miss it. Not sure while I'm still here tbh. Probably just to try to fight back a bit.

Funny story - I was checking my BP this morning (have to do it for medical reasons). I normally do it three times. On the third one I was reading a post containing ableism and my BP went up 😅I think this shows me it's not healthy to engage with those posters.

I have to delete the app and give myself a break from MN from time to time, sometimes it’ll be a week, other times it’s been over a year. I find it brings the worst out of me as well as making me question humanity as a whole. When I feel myself becoming part of the problem I come off it!

I have reported posts in the past for being blatantly ableist or bullying or cruel. But not towards me. If someone is like that towards me I just suck it up and accept that some people are arseholes. Maybe I shouldn’t though. I can be a bit sensitive and overthink things, but I rarely get offended. I can’t help but wonder if there are some posters who have an absolute field day with the report button and use at as a weird and pathetic form of entertainment.

I report personal attack posts whether they are directed at me or others because I want the site to be better and everyone to be able to debate controversial issues without people rushing to turn it personal.

I find Reddit much pleasanter to use. It’s humourous and there doesn’t seem to be any pile ons. It also seems to reflect the normal person more. MN seems to be inhabited by ultra right wingers these days.

Mumsnet is just nasty now. They need more moderators, not to rely on users and to pull entire threads. There’s always stuff bleeped out from the mods on Reddit.

The Mumsnet troll thread is the best!

I suppose it depends what part of Reddit, but I find Reddit to be overwhelmed with misogynists, I avoid Reddit more than MN.

After the Charlie Kirk murder there was a really good thread that started out as an interesting debate on what Kirk stood for. I chipped in (under a different user name) and even though I massively disagreed with some views, the whole conversation was really constructive. And then two people arrived who seemed resolutely determined to turn it into a ‘if you see this differently, you’re an idiot’ sort of discussion and before long, they were attacking/making personal insults and absolutely derailing the thread. What started out as a honest conversation (with wildly different views) just turned into a nasty slanging match, instigated by two posters who weren’t there to discuss but to upset everyone. The thread just died off as they chased everyone away.

I’m old school and reject tribalism and still like to believe I can have a reasonable discussion with people I disagree with…and without it turning into a pile on or slanging match. I’d like to see this idea championed more on MN - ‘in good faith’ discussions. I’ve hidden the Middle East board because it’s either an echo chamber or a place of angst and fighting.

I do so enjoy reading about myself....

Every word of this. Couldn't agree more.

I saw that😅

Makes me laugh at the suggestion that people are nicer over there though!

I struggle with it. Had an account for years but don't really know how to work it. It's so US dominated which is fine for some things but for lots of my specific interests such as gardening and healthcare I want UK.

I’ve never had a snotty post off anyone one on Reddit. Been on it 5 years.

Maybe it’s just the subs l go on.

There is a GardeningUK sub.

I've had approximately six billion snotty posts off people on Reddit and I'm not even on it.