The current state of MN and how do I stop reading?

[Westpoint]

I actually don't know where to start......

But WTF is happening recently? I mean I know AIBU isn't for the faint of heart but the pile on's have become ridiculous. For the experienced posters the ignore tactic works ok but the vitriol for no bloody reason whatsoever just kills the thread.

Yet I keep on reading?

I have a pretty full life but when I log on I do tend to come here and I'm often left with a really bad taste in my mouth.

Why are people just so combative these days?

I do realise the futility in posting this. Maybe I just need a massive boot up the arse (I'm sure I do).

What do people get from being so nasty?

It actually just makes me really sad. Yes, that's my problem I get it. It's just all so stupid, petty and a waste of everyone's time.

Anyway, that's my rant. Prepared to be unnecessarily flamed (well, I'm not actually, it will hurt my feelings but it's going to happen isn't it? I mean, I could post that puppies are cute and fluffy but some miserable cunt will come along along and tell me that their arse's stink, they shit all over their school run and because they are allergic NO-ONE should enjoy them).

This place really has become a victim of it's own success.

I think I might be out but it's hard to let go. I joined 15 years ago!

I agree completely. I came off in the summer after posting about a pudding mix up at a restaurant whilst on holiday. I’m celiac and the way it was handled was bad from the waitress yet the jump ons my thread and nasty comments saying that I was over reacting and I would be “fine” just didn’t stop. I ended up being glutened and spent 3 weeks severely unwell. I didn’t bother coming back on to say “I told you so” because of the hate I would have got and probably not much support.

i always appreciate the true mumsnetters and the invaluable advice. But I’ve noticed that mumsnet is now a mirror oof the general state of the majority of the humans in the world - nasty, goading and judging.

It gets really nasty. Every word that the op says gets scrutinised and twisted. Sometimes you can post something innocuous in the middle of a long post, or in a way that you’d say it if speaking, and the thread is picked apart due to assumptions made on that word. Or people pull apart the OPs life and start making assumptions about that. People wouldn’t have friends if they spoke to them the same way that they do on here.

I'm also this evening wondering if each thread in engaging in is a convert with AI. So maybe threads feel scripted and off. I did say thos on one thread months ago and got it wrong. I apologised profusely.

Yet, this is the situation we now have wherein it feels like the site has been invaded.

First thought to enter my head is it's probably men behind the keyboard and they are angry at us.

It's not necessarily women, or mums, but obviously some are angry too.

Mumsnet used to be a lot of actual mums and the occasional dad or gran or women thinking about getting pregnant. Came for the baby chat, stayed for everything else on offer.

Then it became a target for trolls and lobbyists and political shills. A lot of these people hate what Mumsnet originally stood for. If you're a mens rights activist, or a Russian agitator or work for one of the major political parties then you need a posting history but you are probably going to be quite harsh to perfectly normal (ish) Mumsnet problems.

When I see someone being torn a new one just for having a perfectly reasonable problem i tend to assume those replying posters are not acting in good faith.

Such is the traffic from the bad faith posters that you can go several posts on a thread before you get a normal OG mumsnetter posting in good faith.

I just ignore the AI generated content, the trolls and the haters. It does make the site harder to read.

I dont know what to replace it with. Reddit? Just as bad and really hard to read.

There has always been trouble with men creating chaos in the background. I've been around since the days of Cod and Riven meeting David Cameron. There have been infiltrations by Fathers rights groups, footballer supporters from Reddit groups, TRAs and I'd guess some of the current vitriol is coming from incels.
That said, some women also never grow up out of playground behaviour and get a kick out of being the mean girl and other women can't seem to understand that other people live their lives in different ways.

I miss the humour! I joined over 20 years ago, when my eldest was born, and i used to spend evenings laughing at threads. There was a lot of wit and general good humour, although straight talking was also a feature, but less nastiness. I rarely post now, but do enjoy some threads.

Just dont go on the AIBU threads. There's plenty of other things to read. I think it was worse a few years ago.

Doesn’t help with more men joining the platform

Honestly, I have been here for donkeys years, and these threads come back constantly, and old timers laughing they have been reading them for years.

Brexit was a beauty of racism, nastiness and intolerance on every random thread.

At one point, posters decided it was all "trolls" being nasty, and troll hunting became the thing. Then they got banned, and went to bitch and rant on reddit.

Then Covid and lockdowns were blamed.

Too many threads on AIBU were blamed.

Nowadays, it's "bots" and AI and the Russian being blamed.

and MEN, I forgot about MEN being blamed (as in this forum ever being a female forum anyway 😂)

AIBU has equalled vitriol for decades. It's an anonymous forum, with bored people and some very bitter posters, just ignore them . They live for the attention.

I'm new to mumsnet and bloody addicted ha ha, it's not like I don't have anything better to be getting on with 😂

In fact I felt like posting something similar myself but knew people would just go for the jugular.

Also I got so invested in a one particular thread and the OP had the post deleted so we never found out the conclusion. I do sometimes wonder if people post something as a laugh just to chuck a grenade in there so they can sit back and watch the shit show unfold.

Anyway here I am on mumsnet, no doubt I will be back again tomorrow 😂

I've been around a while about 10 years just lurking for a long time. Even aibu used to be funny on occasion. Now it's just downright horrible.
I find myself getting wound up by the really obtuse posters and have to explain ops as if the posters are dense. I'm not good at spotting ai or bots though.
Someone last year started a forum, I forget it's name but it was completely different very gentle and supportive much as I imagined mn was originally.
Unfortunately it wasn't very busy and didn't last, shame really as it was nice to have mn for a bit of robust arguing and then happy supportive stuff.

And here we are again. Page 4 and some of the people who ruin it for everyone else are starting to pop up.

It’s always been like this

just more post on here now

there was no good old days there has always been an element of bullying and nasty posters I think its actually less cliquey now

but there has always been a lot of support too and sometimes we all like a debate otherwise we would not be on AIBU

I had noticed that, maybe my naivtey but I thought it was just mums. I thought my request would be rejected because my DC is grown up but it seems not everyone on here has kids, not saying that matters because it doesn't

grab your hard hat 😂

The name is "MUMSnet" but while the forum might have been for parents at the start, it's now widely used by anyone and everyone (pet owner, AIBU addict) It has nothing to do with parenting, or just parenting anyway.

It's an anonymous open forum, it's not safe, private, female or anything.

The most "interesting" threads end up on MN facebook or social media, or are just grabbed by the Daily Mail and others.

It’s always the first replies and they are always contradicting the op or making sure they feel crap . I read one earlier where the poster (and this was a minor one ) was saying their teen was stuck in a bit of a scrolling /gaming after school and what did other teens do .
Some of the replies were just something else “flute practise , website design , volunteering , absailing , setting up their own business . One poster even went so far to say that the ops dcs were obviously mirroring the ops behaviour by being lazy and on their phone. Like what an absolute dickhead comment . It’s not even projection as my teen loves sports and does plenty . It is actually very cringey. But 99% of the first few replies rage bait and say the absolute contrary to what the op has said . Just have a look at each thread.

I wish I knew how to stop, I feel better on days I don't come on here. I don't have any other social media now, so just need to control this habit.

I agree. Even you post on chat you get flamed. I posted about soʻn giving away my candels on chat and I got accused of ....

Being stupid because of spelling and grammar ( I'm dyslexic)

Being a troll

Drip feeding

Hiding sex of my sons friend

Etc

Etc

Etc.

Just needed the MN Bingo of someone quoting of post of mine from 1995 that I had more than one candel and the gold standard quoting I don't like candels.

If I want some sanity check I ask AI now. I know it tells you what you want to hear, BUT it suggests sensible solutions without calling me a thick useless lier. I just left the thread as anything useful as per normal it outweighed by the batshit "your only saying now page 7 that the candel was green? This changes everything! What a drip feed! Why the drip feed you illerate fat pile of useless shit op?" 😆😆😆😆

Men who like dominatrixs would love MN. The only kindness is on very specific topics. Chat and AIBU is mostly toxic

Wait…. I thought you could delete it?! 😬🤔😂. What have I been doing then when I thought I’d deleted it?

@OriginalUsername2 its depressing. Watch out for the enshittification of mumsnet

Genuine question… how can you tell if it’s a made up thread? So often I’ve seen people comment that it’s a fake post and I’ve already fallen for it hook line and sinker!

the majority disagrees with it so they decide it must be fake/a bot/ AI/ a MAN😂

@ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs (good username btw) you're right about the humour. Joined in 2009 and it used to be sooo funny.

Fake stories used to be exercises in creative writing too so even the fake posts used to be popcorn fodder.

Maybe AIBU should be renamed?

How about It's Complicated OK.

Or Is It Black and White.

I also feel that Chat increasingly gets taken up with much less of the warm and fuzzy threads - there's more arguing about friends, more politics, far too much immigration posts. Whereas as soon as 1 person posts on mental health it gets moved to that section?!