The current state of MN and how do I stop reading?

[Westpoint]

I actually don't know where to start......

But WTF is happening recently? I mean I know AIBU isn't for the faint of heart but the pile on's have become ridiculous. For the experienced posters the ignore tactic works ok but the vitriol for no bloody reason whatsoever just kills the thread.

Yet I keep on reading?

I have a pretty full life but when I log on I do tend to come here and I'm often left with a really bad taste in my mouth.

Why are people just so combative these days?

I do realise the futility in posting this. Maybe I just need a massive boot up the arse (I'm sure I do).

What do people get from being so nasty?

It actually just makes me really sad. Yes, that's my problem I get it. It's just all so stupid, petty and a waste of everyone's time.

Anyway, that's my rant. Prepared to be unnecessarily flamed (well, I'm not actually, it will hurt my feelings but it's going to happen isn't it? I mean, I could post that puppies are cute and fluffy but some miserable cunt will come along along and tell me that their arse's stink, they shit all over their school run and because they are allergic NO-ONE should enjoy them).

This place really has become a victim of it's own success.

I think I might be out but it's hard to let go. I joined 15 years ago!

Could not agree with you more OP, I cannot believe the level of vittrol on this platform, it is unbelievable.
I have had some really good advice and support on here but also some very unnecessary and inflammatory responses which have just been unnecessary and unkind, I don't know what people get out of being so vile.
Not sure what has happened to the girl code or should I say Mumsnet code! Xx

The world is becoming like it.

I agree. It's unbelievable how many wish to be either contrary, deliberately nasty or downright out to put the boot in for no good reason other than their horrible nature.

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I came across a post recently. The OP was probably in the wrong, but the arguments against her were gentle, challenging and some had a joking tone to them. It was not combative or nasty despite the OP essentially being told she was wrong. It was actually quite pleasant to read.

I was surprised, and then saw the date. It was 2007. Were things different here then?

There will shortly be posters claiming that it's always been a "vipers nest". Not like this IMO.

I would never now post on MN about anything more controversial than what colour kitchen units to choose. Certainly not for support - the last time I looked for that I just got a kicking.

The crazy thing is when you stand up for the beleaguered OP, you get accused of being a sock puppet of OP or a serial defender of OPs.

Entirely agree. Also the number of troll / bot posts is out of control.

Totally agree. I feel compelled to argue when people are being awful but really this site just leaves me depressed about the state of the world. I don't know if it's because people on here are more terrible than average or if it's because we see the worst of them, but either way it's dire!

And the ones who launch into a pile of vitriol without having bothered to read the damn thread

It puts people off starting new threads as well. It's boring now because the same threads run and no new ones are added. Many a time I thought perhaps I could start a thread on something, but then didn't bother because I know what'd happen.

Oh yes. This has happened to me a number of times. I won’t stop defending women who are treated poorly on here though.

I think there are several factors: more actual trolls, more AI posts, more older posters, more plain old intolerant posters, more 'paid' trolls (from UK political parties, PRs but probably also Russians etc) but also a reflection of a more polarised society where someone's skiing plans are as much of a red flag to a bull as someone elses special needs childs' needs.

I joined in 2007. It was very different. Much, much more humour. There was a rival site then called Netmums ( don't know whether it still exists).

It seems to reflect the tone of all online discussions. If you disagree with me you are a bad person. My view is the only acceptable one. There is little nuance.
I don't think real life is quite that bad yet.

I agree it's unpleasant here now, and yet I keep coming. I did log out for about six months last year after one particularly nasty comment. Should have stayed away.
I should quit for good.

Yes you have to be thick skinned if you’re going to post on here because be prepared for some seriously abrasive and nasty people who have no intention to offer advice but just unload their unpleasantness.

The worst ones are anything remotely political , cultural or started by ‘ rich ‘ people .

I honestly do find myself thinking 'is this an onslaught of hostile bots' because the posts are SO hostile, immediate and relentless at the moment.

Also: LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM WHY HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY LEFT HIM GET OUT GO AWAY LEAVE HIM.

I have been moved to tears by the incredible support shown to women getting out of awful situations but this is now the aggressive default statement and if you haven't left your DH of 25 years in 24 hours even though you're broke, scared and have nowhere to go then you will be berated!

I put one word on a recent post which was asking for help with family issues. The word came across as bossy I unintentional … and was obviously not meant that way… I even used an emoji to soften it 😂 I just couldn’t think of another term. I got such a pile on and insults. I’m new to mumsnet and honestly it was so upsetting I took the post down, despite the fact the advice I got from some was so useful to me and others.

I’ve been here a long time too (pre penis beaker) and I’ve skin like a rhino but some of the first replies to an OP are shockingly nasty.

It is like these people sit and wait to be the first to get a dig in.

It was never this bad.

It has got worse and way too many bots. But I still get lots of support in the sub-forums. Don't ever start a thread in AIBU!

I still really enjoy Books, TV, and Culture Vulture subforums. And currently getting a lot of support in Weight loss.

Exactly! But it has got me in hot water with MNHQ though, I have agreed with them that I will ignore posters who attack me 😂

I think there were two lately that were awful.

A lady who had a child after a ONS amd a lady who had a daughter not wanting to do to Disney.

Both came across as normal, rational posters but got massive personal and unwarranted abuse that was bery out of order.

More older posters? I’m older. I’m rather nice even if I do say so myself!

I agree OP. I definitely don’t think it was like this when I arrived at Mumsnet 18 or more years ago when I was looking for information about ovulation. The posts about conception and pregnancy tend to be more pleasant and supportive anyway. But I did start wandering into AIBU and I would read rather than participate. There were a few posters who were very blunt and often rude and I would recognise their usernames. But it definitely wasn’t as much of a ‘culture’. Straight talking certainly, especially when it came to debating certain issues. But not the regular nasty, vitriolic pile ons you see now.

Spot on @Westpoint. Its frustrating and sad.
I've been on MN for 20+ years. it’s so different now from what it was. Still lots of brilliant and heartwarming but also far far more bitchy pile ons. People nitpicking every word the op says. Accusing the op of lying. Name calling, etc¿

I feel so upset for OPs when they come to MN for support and end up feeling worse.

I also agree. Have been here a long time - over 20 years and honestly it is so tediously predictable that I eye role and hide the thread. It is such a shame because I love MN and it has taught me so much and given me so many ideas over the years but now the pile on and twisting the op for kicks is destroying the place.