The current state of MN and how do I stop reading?

[Westpoint]

I actually don't know where to start......

But WTF is happening recently? I mean I know AIBU isn't for the faint of heart but the pile on's have become ridiculous. For the experienced posters the ignore tactic works ok but the vitriol for no bloody reason whatsoever just kills the thread.

Yet I keep on reading?

I have a pretty full life but when I log on I do tend to come here and I'm often left with a really bad taste in my mouth.

Why are people just so combative these days?

I do realise the futility in posting this. Maybe I just need a massive boot up the arse (I'm sure I do).

What do people get from being so nasty?

It actually just makes me really sad. Yes, that's my problem I get it. It's just all so stupid, petty and a waste of everyone's time.

Anyway, that's my rant. Prepared to be unnecessarily flamed (well, I'm not actually, it will hurt my feelings but it's going to happen isn't it? I mean, I could post that puppies are cute and fluffy but some miserable cunt will come along along and tell me that their arse's stink, they shit all over their school run and because they are allergic NO-ONE should enjoy them).

This place really has become a victim of it's own success.

I think I might be out but it's hard to let go. I joined 15 years ago!

I've been here absolute years, and completely agree. It's noticeably worse lately, and as a result I'm spending a lot less time on here. Which is a good thing really!

MN seem to refuse to invest in the site - updating it, investing in moderation, making it a more robust platform. The site continues to decline - what was the latest innovation - changing the colour of the font? I really don't think we will have to worry about spending too much time here very soon. The site will become swamped with bots and AI and we won't want to stay.

I have been on MN for about 13 years. It used to be such a wonderful place, full of thought provoking debates, good humour, and support. OP you have articulated the general unease I've been feeling as I trawl MN as I have done daily for years, looking for hints of that camaraderie. I too will be weaning myself off MN, because the viciousness I see on so many threads is just too horrid to subject myself to regularly.

It'd be nice to have a general chat group with a lot less people. That could be moderated amd people blocked early on. Any old tosh is allowed on here.

Luckily I see friends in rl but for some mn is a lifeline. I had some lonely times when my dcs were babies and mumsnet helped. But it was definitely friendlier then. I met people from here. And of course no bots. You did get trolls.

The TERF threads.

And the ones about sex work and how empowering it is for women

I am embarrassed to say I am so addicted to it! I try not to post or comment and have recently being trying to delete the email notification before reading…

Please don't let FWR put you off.

Feminism, women's rights and MNet is so much bigger and better than that.

Agree. Horrible comments and so little respect so much of the time. I’ve come off Facebook completely for similar reasons and only watch things on IG (never read the comments) but seriously considering not coming on here any more.

I agree I’m astounded by the nastiness of some responses. Tonight it was along the lines of “ did you know your husband was useless before you had two babies with him”. How is that helpful.

OMG - the penis beaker!! Remember it well 🤣

There's a few threads about Sarah Cox. I'm not following what she's doing but I'm aware she's doing something gruelling for Children in Need. But, no, she's doing it raise her profile. I think some people are so unhappy they are completely unable to see any good in anything.

Do you remember Brian from Hull and his Yoni massage?

I can think of easier ways 🤣 Hasn't she done 5 marathons or something?

I missed the original Brian thread but I remember reading the one the next day or so when his wife came and told everyone off for having filthy minds 😂. I was only lurking at that point and remember thinking "wtf is this place!".

@EchoedSilence I will give it a go

I'm relatively new to mn so can't compare it to how it was way back.
Though I'm shocked sometimes about how nasty some of the responses to posts are.
I'm genuinely puzzled by references to the number of ai posts, trolls and bots. How do you know?
Also, I only reply to posts, not initiate them. So ow do you even see answers to your reply? Without staying on mn forever? I will in this case. And yes, I am an older user but none the worse for that....

Agree. I won’t start another thread here ever again after receiving some vicious comments which genuinely upset me. I’ve joined another forum to get advice. Some people on here are so unkind, it’s breathtaking.

It does seem that if lots of us have partner issues even 10 or 15 years down the line we should all have had a crystal ball - I don’t think some people can grasp life isn’t black and white and people can change on a sixpence!

Yep - I’ve read this thread too and could empathise as my SIL is quite hard nosed and self centred too - she’s improved somewhat as she’s aged and realised life isn’t black and white , but definitely was like the OP posted for a long time. I do think a great many people these days are semi depressed and become very self centred and it reflects in the posts you see

I’ve been on here for around 16 years now and it’s definitely got worse. I do think some threads turn out a certain way depending on the first few posts. I’ve also seen people who have been rude in their replies not really getting a bad time at all, and people who totally haven’t deserved it getting an absolute kicking. Maybe there are certain times of day these people come out, or maybe just luck of the draw. Would be interesting to analyse this.

I’m oddly heartened by this thread. Normally these things go by the way of ‘if you don’t like it, leave’ or ‘there has always been robust debate’. It’s clear as day that there has been a significant infiltration of groups / individuals deliberately posting for all sorts of nefarious reasons. We’re not stupid @mnhq

Regular posters can’t challenge/report every post. That would be a Sisyphean task!

So, you’re having a rant about other people having a rant?

Agree OP - Gransnet is much kinder!

Hi all,
Thanks for raising this - it's something we've been discussing internally as we've noticed the same shift you’re describing and we agree it’s something we need to get a much firmer grip on. Debate is part of Mumsnet’s DNA, but unnecessary meanness isn’t, and it helps absolutely no one.

We’ve already put a plan in place to tighten things up. It’s not just about deleting the really obvious personal attacks, but tackling the low-level sniping and pile ons that drain the life out of threads and discourage people from posting in the first place. That means more proactive involvement from us earlier in a thread, not just sweeping up afterwards.

One thing that really helps is reporting. There are around 25,000 posts a day on here, so we really don’t see that much in real time. If something feels off, please do report it. We promise to read things in context and we’d much rather step in early than let a thread spiral.

Most people on here genuinely want to give support or perspective. When that gets drowned out by needless nastiness, everyone loses. So thank you to everyone who’s raised this. We hear you, we agree with you, and we’re working on it.

Interesting to read that MNHQ recognises that there has been a change for the worse and it's not just our perception. Hopefully that finally ends the argument that's it's no worse than it ever was!