The current state of MN and how do I stop reading?

[Westpoint]

I actually don't know where to start......

But WTF is happening recently? I mean I know AIBU isn't for the faint of heart but the pile on's have become ridiculous. For the experienced posters the ignore tactic works ok but the vitriol for no bloody reason whatsoever just kills the thread.

Yet I keep on reading?

I have a pretty full life but when I log on I do tend to come here and I'm often left with a really bad taste in my mouth.

Why are people just so combative these days?

I do realise the futility in posting this. Maybe I just need a massive boot up the arse (I'm sure I do).

What do people get from being so nasty?

It actually just makes me really sad. Yes, that's my problem I get it. It's just all so stupid, petty and a waste of everyone's time.

Anyway, that's my rant. Prepared to be unnecessarily flamed (well, I'm not actually, it will hurt my feelings but it's going to happen isn't it? I mean, I could post that puppies are cute and fluffy but some miserable cunt will come along along and tell me that their arse's stink, they shit all over their school run and because they are allergic NO-ONE should enjoy them).

This place really has become a victim of it's own success.

I think I might be out but it's hard to let go. I joined 15 years ago!

I agree, it's getting like Twitter did, toxic and annoying.
I deleted Twitter ages ago, I should really do the same here, it's not good for one's mental elf.

Do other people recommend any other forums? I feel a bit adrift sometimes, late 30s but I don't like insta or tick tock.

try reddit, there's anything and everything on there.

Even MN most bitter posters 😂some who have been banned from here, and don't face the same ban on there. But you can ignore them and anything MN.

This is it. Exactly. Yes of course it’s changed. Like everything has changed since 2000. What I find hard to take is the transparently obvious organised infiltration. MN have to do something about this. As another poster said upthread, MN is set up as if it’s still 2007. If MN don’t act, the whole thing will fold. Like increasingly large parts of the internet, MN is becoming bots arguing with bots. Little by little human beings will edge away until this is just an AI playground. A bit like Facebook,

@ThatChristmasMug I've tried Reddit. It can be very funny but I hate the layout.

It's easy to get the hang of after a while. Sort the threads by 'new' I like being able to reply directly to a comment.

I think what I find sad is Justine the owner used to care about the site. She has now clearly taken the money and run. As long as she gets her advertising revenue she really doesn’t care. It used to be a safe space for all mums what ever difficulties they had and whatever minority group they came from. It isn’t any long and it really is unpleasant.

You can also block irritating arsehole posters on Reddit. Shame you can't do that on MN.

I don't see this. Perhaps as I'm older I remember when disagreement wasn't automatically perceived as "hate"?

It’s not just MN, people can be downright nasty online. I doubt most of them would have the nerve to say it to your face so I just ignore them.

@saraclara “ What I find hard to take is the transparently obvious organised infiltration.“ exactly! I find it quite sinister.

I thought the post by the OP felt AI when I read it.

I'd definitely never post asking for genuine support now and certainly never in AIBU. I remember when that topic was created. Posters had to genuinely ask if they were being unreasonable about a particular incident, thought, action, whatever. I stick to DIY, Home Decor and the TV threads mostly.

The worst threads, which MN seem determined not to do anything about, are the thread titles stating something factually incorrect. They cropped up a lot before the referendum (and then those posters simply disappeared after the vote) but now they're there regularly. Reporting them as deliberate misinformation/disinformation gets you nowhere so I just hide them now.

I know Tattle is supposed to be the devil's playground but I've been a member for years. Yes there's lots of criticism of celebs, influencers etc but there are also many threads about general life too and most people on there are incredibly accepting and supportive.
Also there's so much good humour on there. Like all social media sites there are some who take things way too far but I love Tattle and see my membership as gold.

I made a post about that laundry advert with Molly-Mae in it.

I made sure I posted it in chat and tried my best to explain it was lighthearted and that’s why I’d posted there.

I tried to use a humorous tone, make it clear it was just my opinion and that I was mostly annoyed with how often the advert was repeated. I mentioned I’d been watching a lot of catch up on ITV X due to having a kidney infection and I wouldn’t normally be spending so much time watching it if I wasn’t so ill.

Most people took it in the spirit it was posted in but a few posts really surprised me with how angry they were.

I was told to go and take more painkillers,
I had someone rant at me for being against younger mothers because I had commented Molly-Mae looked very young to have a child. I maybe didn’t make it clear enough that I was joking she looked like a child herself!
Despite mentioning being ill I was told I had no life and I must be bitter and my favourite was this -
“Sad sad life you lead being sick”

I have to admit the last comment made me laugh it was just so ridiculous to insinuate that illness means I have a sad life 😂.

I can only imagine the chaos if I’d posted on AIBU and someone even commented saying similar and posted some good examples of the comments I might have expected.

What personally annoys me on mumsnet is when someone writes a few paragraphs that must take a maximum of a few minutes to read and gets slated for the length of the post. I hate the comments “I’m not reading all that” and similar - don’t read it then! No one is forcing you to.

If an OP is just a few sentences it gets followed by loads of repeated questions, information gets missed and reading comprehension can be poor.
It leads to people making up scenarios, pushing their own agenda or projecting their own experiences.
If someone writes all the information in one post then it makes things clear because a lot of people don’t click to read all of the OP’s posts and post things that aren’t relevant as the thread has moved on.

I used to post quite a bit and tried to offer helpful advice that seemed to be appreciated. I am reluctant to post as much now due to the extreme comments I get about my longer posts. I’m shocked at how nasty people can be over it.

Yes, this exactly. It's really not just posters being unpleasant or having challenging views. The site is gradually being overwhelmed with bots. There are longstanding threads in politics which are in the main just bots posting to eachother. In addition to this disinformation and racism, anger towards disabled people, anger towards people on benefits.. not touched by MN.

Me too.

I reported to MNHQ and they backed off. I come here for leisure, not to be followed across the boards by internet weirdos.

The same happened to me. I never start threads now and stay mainly for the FWR board. I've learned so much from the wise and knowledgeable women on there. I despair at threads where a perfectly reasonable OP receives a kicking.

Plenty of people get a kicking on the FWR board.

I've found, like anywhere in society, there are always those few who seem to take pleasure in trying to goad. Thinking of the most insignificant detail to twist and I pity them for having nothing better to do!

FWR is bonkers. I don’t know anyone who thinks like those threads. In fact it’s those threads that make me question my presence on this website.

What are "those threads"?

There's currently a thread where the OP's elderly and sick DF is upset by his DIL's cold attitude towards him, and someone assumed he was "performative weeping." The OP's parents look after her two nephews, free, and when the DF updates the family WhatsApp group, the boys' mother just says " So can you have the boys this week?" and never acknowledges his poor health or even asks how he is, or says she hopes he gets better soon. Nothing. She was called out on her rudeness by the DF, and she deliberately still does it.

Posters accused the OP and her family of all sorts. LOTS of very cold-hearted responses, including responding to his upset as "performative." That thread is a great example of what we're talking about here.

All that for one word? Blimey. Tell us the word and I will endeavour to use it a few times for fun.

That thread is a prime example of the problem. When I read the OP, I knew the poster would get some push back, but the vitriol in the face of what was obviously a sad situation for the OP and her parents was very disheartening.

This is what MN wants.

When they started it was a great resource but now it’s just a place for them to shill for crappy products like their frozen baby food and the phone that is on every page presumably because someone “important” has something to do with the company.

MN refuse to move with the times from a tech point of view which is why the website looks as though it’s still 2005. They don’t allow you to block people or remove your own posts, but they do allow graphic CSA images to be posted overnight because there was never any controls to stop the incels and bots from doing it.

I don’t know why I keep coming back either.