To not expect our dc to just buy us a house regardless of our living situation

[Delacorde]

Ok so the short story is me dh and 2 dc live in a HA house that has turned out to be a nightmare due to living next door to complete nightmares for neighbours. We have experienced ASB at it’s finest but the HA aren’t interested in helping. So we saved up a small deposit to buy a house and we found one, paid to have a survey done, got approved for a mortgage we could (just) about afford and all was looking good but sadly due to complications on the sellers end and personal issues due to a divorce we are 9 months down the line and things haven’t progressed. We can’t walk away as we realistically cannot afford anything else. We viewed a couple other properties in our price range but they needed tons of money spending on them money we just don’t have. So this is where the AIBU comes into it.

Our ds age 23 who still lives with us invested in stocks/shares/crypto a few years ago and is doing very well for himself. I think the last time her brought up the subject they have (before they pay their tax bill in January) around £4M. He’s doing amazing and considering ds is very shy, hated uni, and isn’t a people person as such they have found their niche what their good at and plan on investing eg buying property. I honestly couldn’t be prouder of him.

So because of how well he is doing I’ve hard various friends and family members including my parents dsis and db ask me why I don’t just ask my ds to buy us a house and we pay him back like we would a mortgage. I was like no just no! I mean that money is for his future and why should he pay (literally) for our bad and stupid life choices eg renting all our lives and not getting on the ladder when houses were cheaper. It’s not his responsibility after all to look after us in such a way. Yet my friends and family think em and dh are ridiculous for not at least asking ds. Your thoughts?

You’re both delusional

I’d be more worried about him living in a bedroom with his parents just in front of a large computer all day at 25 rather than if should buy you a house. Surely he’d be buying his own house if you have such a good HA agreement. He could always invest in properties overseas Caribbean tax havens to avoid such a big UK tax bill on his amazing balance in his current account plus you could then I indulge in lovely holidays in warm climates. As you keep asking if this isn’t true where’s he getting the money to pay you rent perhaps he’s running his own crypto scam or Ponzi schemes.

"There are no guarantees" followed by "no investor would hold that much cash."

I think you're a bit confused about the point you're trying to make.

He could have quite possibly made over a million in a day without needing millions to do so if he was leveraging .... he must have made an awful lot if he has 4 million in the bank after tax because one of the issues with crypto in particular is the tax when you come to cash out.

Many people of his age though aren't able to just sit in their rooms all day and trade (if thats what he's doing) because they have to work. To some extent you have allowed your ds this opportunity to build an income this way so yes, I think its odd he hasn't offered to help you purchase a property and quite shocking.

Yes, it’s possible to make (or lose) over a million in a day trading C with leverage without having millions to start, because:

• C derivatives exchanges (e.g., Binance, Bybit, OKX) allow high leverage (10×, 25×, 50×, sometimes 100× or more).
• Leverage multiplies both gains and losses.
• A strong price move in the trader’s favour can produce outsized profits relative to the initial capital.

For example:

• With $50,000 and 20× leverage, a 10% price move in your favour =
• ≈ $100,000 profit.
• With $100,000 and higher leverage or multiple positions, people can hit seven-figure days.

But: These outcomes are extremely rare and usually risky.

Most leveraged traders lose money over time

Why doesn’t your son move out so you can buy a smaller home that costs less and you finance yourself?

Because he doesn’t have a job or income. I’d imagine op is reeling right now from having discovered this, hence not coming back