for secretly taking weightloss injections

[ravingandbehaving]

and not telling anyone, even my husband?

Is anyone else in this boat?

I've just ordered them today. My husband is dead against them. Work colleagues would probably be supportive though as half of them are on it.

I've tried everything to lose weight but food is just a crutch for me. I'm much better than I used to be but I'm a sugar addict and struggle with portion control. I've got a lot of trauma from having food restricted as a kid. As an adult I've dealt with the mental health side but just cannot lose the weight! I have tried literally every single diet you can think of. I've had a PT. I go to the gym regularly and walk the dog and play with my children. I just cannot lose the weight... It's either this or WLS...

I'm 5 stone overweight and miserable about my body and just want to change.

That's what I said on a thread a few days ago. Several people I know have lost 4-5 stone this year, (after 25-30 years of their adult life being 5-6 stone overweight/fat,) and never losing more than 1-2 stone. And it's so obvious that they've been on the weight loss injections.

They haven't said they have, but they haven't said they haven't... But they have. No way would the weight drop off middle aged people (45 to 50) that quickly without weight loss injections.

@ravingandbehaving I think you're mad to do it without telling anyone at all. There is a reasonable chance of side effects, it's dangerous to not tell a soul at all.

Exactly. My DH wanted to get liposuction some 6-7 years ago, and pay £5K for it. I vetoed it.

Also, my BFF's husband wanted to get private rechargable hearing aids costing £3K. She vetoed that.

Basically, my DH was lazy, never left the house apart from going to work (and it's a sit down job) and he had been eating not very healthily for some time. He didn't need £5K worth of liposuction, he needed to eat healthier and exercise more. He did, and over 5 months, he lost a stone and a half, and the fat he wanted removing via liposuction.

The hearing aids my friend vetoed because the NHS do perfectly decent ones for FREE. So why the fuck would you pay £3K for them? Another thing is, the rechargable ones malfunction quite often. The battery powered ones don't. Her DH got the battery powered ones, (free on the NHS,) and is very happy with them.

Whilst me and my friend sound bossy, our husbands would also veto these things, if we tried to spend 1000s of pounds we didn't need to spend. And they would have every right to.

It’s entirely up to you. But why is your husband ‘dead against them’?

Through ignorance, mistrust, financial concerns? Does he want to keep you fat so no one else finds you attractive? Would he rather you’re unhealthy and miserable? He doesn’t sound like a good husband unless he has informed, intelligent arguments against them.

If I thought I could control what medical treatment my DH has it would negatively affect our relationship.

I think it's a shame that you feel that you can't tell your husband.

Your husband doesn't have to agree with your decision but he should respect it. That is assuming that you have your own income or personal spending money and can afford it.

I'm taking Mounjaro. I work, I earn my own money, all our money is pooled. I didn't ask my husband I told him. Spending nearly all our money on our kids has always been our priority but this is something I am doing for me and it's not up for negotiation.

Obviously others have read and understood my post but if I need to spell it out.....
If I found out my DH was taking a medication that could have side effects and had not told me it would negatively affect our relationship. because it could cause him to be ill and if I didn't know I could not advocate for him
If I found out my DH was taking a medication that he knew I did not approve of without discussing it with me it would negatively affect our relationship.
If I found out my DH was taking a medication that he knew I did not approve of and using our shared funds without discussing it with me it would negatively affect our relationship.
For me this would be wrong on so many levels. Knowledge is power. There is no place for lies, even by omission, in a marriage . We should each be each others safe person, advocate, first port in a storm.
If we are not all of these things it's not much of a marriage.

I did this. I’ve lost 25% of my body weight since last Christmas. He still doesn’t know. A handful of friends know and are sworn to secrecy.
I feel fabulous. I’ve never been this slim as an adult.
BMI around 24, from 30.
UK dress size 8-10 from a 16.

Would be nice to get a little smaller by say another 3-5 kgs - into the middle of the healthy BMI band - to give some wiggle room for holidays or other times the wheels come off. However if this is it I can live with it after a lifetime of being overweight!!!

im trying to work out if i can come off them or if this is going to be a lifetime drug commitment. I feel so much better. Improved lots of symptoms of other conditions too (or there has been a coincidental improvement!).

best of luck and enjoy.

This!

I'm torn about this. I hope you're getting them from somewhere reputable as there's been a few case of people being really ill or even dying.
I agree your dh should know in case of a medical issue. Not husbands business really to approve or not.

Go for it

Wow I went away to finish work and came back to so many replies. Thank you everyone. I feel like there's so many things to answer/address.

My DH is not controlling at all (although I suppose I made it sound like he is, I apologise) - he's watched my weight yoyo around the same two stone and seen the self-hatred that I've had from dieting over time we've been together. For reference, I'm 30 and we've been together 8 years. I've never been slim in my life, I was a size 14 when we met and 3 kids later I'm about 2.5 stone heavier and an 18-20 now. Regardless he tells me I'm beautiful pretty much every day and never seems to have less interest in me no matter how my view is of myself. When I've mentioned trying the injections or weightloss surgery he is very much of the opinion of why do something you don't need to do, it's a lot of money and you look good as you are.
He doesn't seem to see how much I struggle trying to run, or how I'm constantly sitting with a blanket over me on the sofa to hide my belly. Our sex life struggles because of it too because I'm just so self conscious about how I look even though I know he loves me whatever way.

I suppose part of my reason for not wanting to tell him is he's seen me do so many diets, always been supportive but also doesn't quite 'get it' as someone who has always been naturally slim and fit himself. He thinks nothing of munching on a bar of chocolate or saying 'should we get a takeaway' knowing my willpower just isn't that strong.

Recently I've gotten much better and had therapy for anxiety and I realise a lot of my unhealthy eating patterns come from being very restricted in what I was allowed to eat as a child. I never know when the next 'treat' will be coming and I binge eat a lot. This used to be every day but is now probably once week. The cravings in my head just become uncontrollable. I've heard things about the jabs stopping that 'food noise' which I think is exactly what I need.

We both work a lot and have our own spending money each month to spend on whatever we like. This is coming out of my personal spending money. Obviously we're in a cost of living crisis but I work extremely hard and if I pull back on treats elsewhere, I can afford it. I've ordered it from medexpress, nowhere dodgy. And I've put in my GP details and do plan on informing my GP. I may confide in my 'work mum' who is absolutely lovely and has also lost weight this way so I know there would be no judgement there.

They'll know.

Trying to see if there's anything I haven't answered.

DH wouldn't notice the medicine in the fridge. He works shifts, I do all the cooking/meal prep and shopping I don't think he ever even goes in the fridge!

Similarly I don't think he'd think anything of me eating smaller portions. He knows I'm trying to cut down and have been for a while so I was planning on just telling him it's a diet/lifestyle change. Which it is. By my understanding the injection is just a tool to help curb appetite, it doesn't mean you just drop weight off without making any lifestyle changes. I suspect at this point a lot of the reason I can't lose weight is my secret snacking and binges when he's out, so if the medication can help that, it'll be life-changing for me.

I don't think I'd keep it a secret forever. I think if I started dropping weight and he asked me, then I'd tell him honestly. It's more that I desperately want it to work before saying anything. He does have a friend who has always been overweight and recently lost 3 stone on mounjaro and looks amazing, so I'm hoping that sways his opinion!

It has nothing to do with anyone else.

@ravingandbehaving could you explain more about why your DH is so definitively against WLI?

She vetoed a disability aid because she decided that she was the arbiter of how he would deal with his disability? What the fuck?

I told my partner and 2 months in he started taking them but other than that not a sole!

I've lost 6 stone 2lbs since January so people might guess but really not their business!!

You don’t have to tell people but they will know anyway so it’s a bit pointless. Maybe if you are really good at lying and are prepared to pretend you are dieting without using weight loss injections then you might get away with it but if you are loosing weight most people will assume you are using the jabs.

I would never ask anyone about how they have lost weight but I’d assume it was with jabs.

I don't care if people assume that my weight loss is down to injections. The important point is that I don’t want to discuss it with them and they should be polite/aware enough not to directly ask, as it’s none of their business at all. No one is owed my personal medical details and decisions.

Btw the flip side of me losing weight is my DH has also lost weight. I’ve never known him this slim!!

Absolutely go ahead and take the medication. Your body, your choice! Hopefully it works well for you.

I find it really weird that you’d hide it from your husband though. Even if he doesn’t like the idea, it’s best he hears it from you directly, rather than finding out you’ve lied to him. Because he WILL eventually find out. Nobody else needs to know though.

I’d be upset if DP hid something like this from me so I’d be honest with him.

What is WLS?

My husband would notice in about 5 minutes because (1) joint account and (2) we eat together every night. He cooks for me.

In any case, we don’t have the type of relationship where I’d need to hide it. I’d literally just say “sorry I know you’re not keen but I’m doing it anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️” because I am an adult who can make my own decisions.

It’s so funny how people are so defensive about the jags, and yet so reluctant to admit to it

Because of my job I wouldn't tell anyone.

6 ft 1 , broke leg last year and went from 16.7 stone to 20 stone. Started MJ in March, I am on steady dose of 4mg ( I'm a physician myself) and down 3 stone 2 pounds 😊