Mum on class WhatsApp group going on about her MH all the time!

[Jillcc1]

This really.
My DC is in Year 5 and most of the parents are in class WhatsApp group. We chat about school stuff but also parties, Halloween events that sort of thing. No one really writes about their personal lives, health, work etc because it's not appropriate in the class chat. It should be about the kids and school, right?
There's 1 mum who goes on and onnnnnnn about her mental health and neuro diversity struggles at every single opportunity.. Even when someone might have posted a quick question about homework or school lunches etc.
She always steers the chat towards her own issues.
I get that she might be struggling, but I'd this any reason to drag other parents down and depress them? Especially when we're all busy with our own lives.

It “reeks” of illness. It’s ultimately very sad. Especially for her children if she is struggling.

everybody is struggling

Everybody is busy, juggling kids, life.

You assume correctly. Usually someone will be organised enough to set the group up. Apparently a lot of people on this thread think that being the one to put in the initial effort of getting it set up makes your responsible for everyone’s behaviour on the group. I imagine all the people who think this are never the ones who actually bother to do any of the work setting up the group, they just expect everyone else to do it for them and of course make sure no one says anything on the group that could possibly irritate them 🙄

Fair enough. In this case, I would probably archive the group for a bit. Someone will get cross and tell her to pack it in.

That’s not the same as struggling with mental health.

Yes, it's interesting how many responses have suggested OP try and get someone else to deal with this for her.

Well she definitely has issue's.
Yanbu. I also know someone who does the same thing, the group mostly will ignore her, it makes me feel bad but if you respond she'll keep going.
I have known her for over 20 years, her mother was similar, you're not going to change them.
If she was a random school mother I'd respond with an emoji.
Don't get into the habit of mocking her with other parents.

it's not a race to the bottom, people struggle full stop, mental health or else.

No one is "special" or more interesting because they play the mental health card, other people are just more private.

What an unpleasant post. No, it's not a race to the bottom, but it's not 'my struggle's bigger than yours' top trumps either. It'd be nice to think people could spare a thought for someone else who's struggling every now and then.

Why do you think people who have mental health issues think they are special or more interesting, though?

Its quite obvious that she wasn't actually saying people with MH problems think they are more special or interesting than anyone else but making the point that, just because other people don't inappropriately share their MH issues, it doesn't mean they dont have them or that their mental wellbeing isn't less improtant.

She was referring to the people who are suggesting that because this woman is sharing hers, other people should get invovled. Only sharing doesn't make her more worthy of anyone's consideration than anyone else.

I've had Mental Health issues in the past (arguably I still do now but I manage them well).

At the point when I was most vulnerable, I would have been the person to respond to her because (I've since realised) whilst I was fighting someome else's battle and supporting them, I was, and felt justified in, neglecting my own needs with the excuse to myself that I didn't have time or that mine could wait because theirs were more important. Or it just provided a distraction to me. Whilst never asking anyone for support myself.

It's rarely people with strong boundaries who get involved in these situations and often those who have the least capacity to give who do.

Eg there have been countless threads on here over the years where people have posted because a friend and their MH is drainng them in terms of their own mental resources and health. With very few exceptions, the poster then goes on to reveal that they too have significant MH issues.

Many people who have had experience of supporting someone with significant MH issues also know that it isn't a case of "sparing a thought... every now and then." The lack of boundaries often means that the person who is struggling doesn't ever consider the needs or capacity of other people and just ask more and more and lean on them more and more.

Again, there was a thread earlier this year from someone in that position who just couldn't see that the friends who usually offered them most almost constant support weren't actually their 24/7 personal resource and resented the fact they were prioritising their own pre-existing plans rather than drop everything to speak to/see then when they needed them.

Even when someone isn't struggling themselves, that's an awful lot to ask of them.

Its quite obvious that she wasn't actually saying people with MH problems think they are more special or interesting than anyone else but making the point that, just because other people don't inappropriately share their MH issues, it doesn't mean they dont have them or that their mental wellbeing isn't less improtant.

That's not how the post came across to me, I did feel it read as though pp was trying to suggest people who talk about their MH think they're special and interesting, especially given pp's nasty tone throughout this thread.

I do agree with some of what you said in the rest of your post. But, having had MH issues too in the past, I vividly remember the pain of feeling no one cared, and how much worse that made me feel sometimes. Granted I wouldn't hijack a WhatsApp chat to talk about it, but it's the very inappropriacy of that act that makes me wonder if it's a cry for help and this lady is in a really bad way.

Glad you find other people's unhappiness so amusing Have you ever had mental health issues yourself?

Thank you @BlueSlate your previous post wasn’t unpleasant. And I agree, no one has the right to dump on others without their consent.

I don't think anything of "people", I am just pointing out that the mum who is being a nuisance on the class group, the one who keeps banging on about herself and highjack a group about irrelevant issues is an attention seeker.

She hasn't got the monopoly of struggles, everybody is in the same boat, and she's adding to other parents struggles with her constant rants.

Give over, it's true.

Most parents roll their eyes and think , but don't say, "oh shut up Doris, I only asked for the link for the timetable song, no one cares how you are feeling today, stop spamming the group"

but by not telling her to "shut up", they are kind 😂

Everybody has mental health issues at one point or another, from illness, exhaustion, trauma, severe loss.. the list goes on. didn't you know that?

Fgs no one has any social awareness anymore! We have a dad like that who shares his every waking thought on there. It's just so inappropriate to expect people to want to read it and to expect them to reply and reaasure them! That is not my job or responsibility!

Yes they may be ND and haven't realised it's the wrong place to share all of that, but surely anyone would notice that if no one replies to your multi paragraph message it probably means they don't give a monkeys?

What's worse is the one I know tries to get people on side when he blames his made up anxieties on the school. (Not being unkind, they are made up, outlandish claims against the faculty that he seems to conjure up to induce a panic attack). Big time CBA.

I hope you’re nicer in real life than you’re coming off as on this thread.

you are the one who is dismissive of the entire group, I am not sure you are as nice as you think you are.

All righty then. 😂