In laws telling DD she would never make it to university.

[Getbackinyourlane12]

Hi
this is more of a rant than anything else ! In laws have 8 grandchildren and the eldest has just started university ( not my DC )
my eldest has just started secondary school and so a while off yet !
DD was over at grandparents the weekend and came back a little upset questioning me about university and getting upset that she will never be able to be an Occupational therapist.
I asked where this has come from and it turns out during the weekend her cousin was talking about her new life at university and DD took an interest and said she wanted to be an OT. She is 11 so I’m aware this can change 🤣 her nan then went on to tell her that I am not setting her up for the reality of her future. To get in to university you will need to do well in your GCSES for college and then well in your A levels and unfortunately your ability is below that. What ?? She’s 11 😭😭 this has all come about because they are all huge academics and asked daughter when she got her sats results what they were.
not to drip feed there was huge health impacts and other factors than meant her primary education was not your average !
she is now able to attend school more and is a great school with great results for children who need a smaller environment but are academic.
I spoke to the in-laws and the MIL said I was misleading daughter and it was better for me now to work towards more an enable goal and have a plan for her that is realistic and not a pipe dream.

she’s 11 😭she’s a tough cookie and in my opinion extremely smart !

You said it! She is 11! That is SO young in the grand scheme of things. I have friends who never went to uni or got Alevels as stuff went wrong at that time in their lives and both dyslexic. They are both now CFOs and very rich.

Your MIL is talking crap. And to do that to her own granddaughter shows her ignorance. She probably thinks she is saving her pain. But it’s important to teach your daughter to persevere and stick at things. Resilience it’s important and she is already showing that.

Most people don’t realise either that intelligence isn’t fixed. SATs measure what you have learnt aswell not academic potential. Use CATs for potential. Your daughter has been through a lot. I hope she gets all the psychological support she may need aswell especially with negative doom sayers like that. I hope she powers through.
sounds like you are a good mum and will gently encourage .

How's that for support and knocking of confidence!!! I would be going ape shit at this, children need encouragement in this world.... I left school with no GCSEs or A levels but guess what, I went to uni and now a nurse for the NHS after gaining qualifications later on in life. Now I know that its best to gain these qualifications earlier than I did, but instead, I raised my children and then concentrated on myself.
Grandma should telling her that she can do anything she puts her mind to, because she can. Uni IS expensive, but there's student loans there for that reason.
My parents dint have a pot to piss in, so I worked and put myself through uni. There's always a way. But support and encouragement is better than money to a child's self belief. Grandma should no her place

https://uk.yahoo.com/style/mom-livid-discovering-mother-law-093000154.html

This made it on the news ...

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When I was at Primary School the 11+ had been abolished and there were no SATS, but anyone looking at my Maths and English, particulary my teachers, wouldn't have thought I'd be going to Uni. This continued for the first couple of years of secondary school.
From the the third year though I improved, did well at GCSE, did A-levels (not so well), but the University I applied to said 'that's okay, you can come on the HND instead' which I did, then after the HND did a 'top-up' year to get the degree.
Ignore your relatives.